The surest sign that a society can cope with vice is the ability to ridicule it. While one part of society tears off their robes in horror at the mere mention of the vicious relationship between young and old, the other laughs at the same in comedies. Such, for example, as Hal Ashby's tape "Harold and Maude". The main character of the picture is a lonely young man suffering from a lack of attention from his mother. At some point, Harold meets Maud, a sweet 80-year-old woman who is passionate about life, with which the young man develops friendships and even romantic relationships. Fascinated by his new "old" passion, Harold even prepares to propose to Maud.

Shot from the film "Insidiousness"

Not only American society is subject to such a piquant phenomenon as the relationship between an adult woman and a young teenager, Europe can even give a head start here. "Deceit" by Salvatore Samperi tells the story of a Sicilian family in which the head lost his beloved wife. The big house was deprived of a woman's hand, and after a while the don was forced to hire a housekeeper. She turns out to be charming Angela, who instantly becomes an object of desire not only for the head of the family, but also for his sons. A woman trying to maintain parity reciprocates all her gentlemen, including fifteen-year-old Nino, who just woke up his first sexuality.

Still from the movie "Class"

Two friends, Jonathan and Skip, who struck up a friendship in the senior year of a prestigious private school, agreed to support each other in everything. Learning that his friend is still a virgin, Skip organizes a romantic trip for Jonathan, in which the young man meets 38-year-old Ellen, with whom he finally breaks the seal of sexuality. Alas, the woman does not consider the age difference surmountable and breaks up with Jonathan, but ... again finds herself in bed with him under very piquant circumstances a few months later. A brilliant dramedy with young Rob Lowe and John Cusack, as well as the charming Jacqueline Bisset as a seducer in years.

Still from the movie "Oh, this science"

An easily accessible, willing adult woman is the ultimate dream of high school losers who have been hit in the head by male hormones. The heroes of John Hughes' comedy "Oh, this science" are inspired by the idea of ​​creating a "superwoman" and apply all their ingenuity in order to create the ideal woman who can satisfy their every desire. After a fantastic experiment, the guys get the charming Lisa, the woman they can only dream of. Alas, this is the whole problem of would-be experimenters - you can dream of Lisa, but you won't be able to master it, no matter how tempting she may look.

Shot from the cartoon "The Simpsons"

The rule "All this was already in" The Simpsons "has not been canceled. In 1992, in the third season of the cartoon show, the authors delighted the audience with the episode "Bart the Lover", where Bart and Mrs. Crabapple, a local school teacher, entered into a somewhat unnatural, although purely platonic relationship. Accidentally learning that the woman lacks the attention of men, the young tomboy begins a correspondence affair with Edna, introducing himself as another person. Very soon, the relationship between the two "paper lovers" moves to a level inaccessible to 10-year-old Bart, and the Simpson family is forced to look for a way to get rid of the feelings of a single woman for her son.

Shot from the movie "It's Time to Blossom"

Known for their very relaxed attitude to sexuality, the Swedes expressed their point of view on the relationship between an adult woman and her young ardent lover through Bo Wiederberg's film “Time to Blossom”. Its main characters are a high school student Stig and his teacher, 37 years old. Neither age difference nor marriage can drown out the passion that has flared up inside a woman, and she takes advantage of the naivety of her student. At first, the Stig is fascinated by the abyss of pleasures that opens before him, but very soon the teacher's attention becomes a burden for the teenager.

Shot from the film "Lovelace"

If other heroes are looking for adventure on the side, then the hero of the melodrama "Lovelace" finds them in his own house. 16-year-old Oscar is noticeably ahead of his peers in development, he is not interested in girls of the same age, the guy is attracted by mature women. It is not easy for Oscar to admit this to himself, but the reason is the same - his stepmother Eva, the boy decides that the woman will be better with him than with his father, who is always busy at work. And now the pursuit of real feelings becomes the obsession of the young hero. An obsession that can destroy a family, because Eve is also a person, with her passions, vices and ideas about life.

Shot from the movie "And your mother too"

Shot from the movie "Pursued"

Obviously burdened by their past, the Germans often turn to the topic of prisoners and convicts (remember at least the famous "Experiment"), it is not surprising that it was in Germany that one of the most striking films about the relationship between "legalists" and "criminals" was shot. Elsa is 49 years old, and the routine of life has long deprived her of joys and pleasures, emotions in a woman are caused only by the stories of her wards - conditionally convicted juvenile delinquents whom she is supervising. Her next "client", 16-year-old Jan, turns out to be the closest to Elsa, a connection arises between the heroes, which poured out into a sexual relationship. But passion and desire are bad advisors, the connection between a young man and a woman is revealed, which will play off the fate of both.

Still from the movie "The Reader"

Still from the film "From the Back Door"

Soviet cinema, naturally, avoided such topics by the thin ice, so the new generation of Russian filmmakers has to make up for the "lost time". One of the first, very chaste trial balls was Stanislav Mitin's melodrama "From the Back Door". The main character of the film is Anna Nikolaevna, a primary school teacher of the post-war Leningrad school. The young woman lost her fiancé during the war and is not yet ready to fill the gap with new relationships. But she cannot help but notice the attention from the ninth-grader Misha, the guy does everything to please the woman. Finally, a romance breaks out between the heroes, doomed in advance to universal condemnation, and all that is left for Misha and Anna is to meet at the back door of the school in the evening twilight.

Nothing accelerates old age more than excessive drinking, unbridled love and lust that knows no measure.

Erasmus of Rotterdam

Sexual intercourse between an adult woman and a teenager can be episodic - in this case, we are not talking about perversion (sexual deviation of a non-pathological nature). But there may also be a stable attraction of a woman to teenage boys with a lack of interest in men. In this case, we are talking about perversion (sexual perversion), which is called ephebophilia.

In the lives of many men, there was a connection with an adult woman when they were still underage themselves. Some women like to act as a mentor, teaching the boy all the intricacies of carnal love. There may be maternal feelings for the teenager. And some women like the sincerity, affection and romantic feelings of adolescents, they prefer them over men, considering them more cynical and selfish.

Society has a negative attitude towards the fact that an adult woman has a long-term sexual relationship with a teenager, and such women prefer to hide their attachments. This problem cannot be assessed unambiguously.

In many cases, feelings are mutual - a teenager falls in love with his adult mistress. Personally, I find it difficult to evaluate such cases. I saw a lot of them, and usually the conflict occurred when other people intervened, most often the parents of the teenager. They can also be understood - no one wants a grown woman to molest his son.

Lovers of different ages themselves most often desperately defended their right to love and demanded that everyone leave them alone.

Modern adolescents mature early and from the age of 13-15, and sometimes even earlier, they live sexually with their peers. Therefore, it is difficult to be an arbiter here. All participants in the conflict evoke sympathy and empathy - both a teenager in love, who is forbidden by his parents to meet with his beloved, and a woman, whom everyone condemns, and parents who are worried about their son.

But there are also cases when a woman forces a teenager to intimacy - not necessarily with the help of physical violence, but using his addiction or psychological pressure. There may be threats, intimidation, blackmail.

Kirill is 15 years old, he is a tall, handsome boy, looks older than his years, an athlete. He had a girl with whom he was in love, met for about a year, had a sex life.

In the 8th grade, the coach of the women's basketball team began to literally pursue him. She constantly came across him on the way when he went to the gym, flirted with him, spoke ambiguities, offered to spend the evening together, visit her at home, came to workout and watched him, under various pretexts went into the locker room when he was changing.

He did not like her at all, but he was somehow embarrassed to answer with rudeness to an adult woman. The boy began to avoid her, came running late, hoping that she would think that he had missed the workout, and if she left the coaching room to meet him, he quickly ran down the corridor, saying that he was late. He tried to constantly be among the other guys so that the woman would not come up with another invitation. The guys from the team began to make fun of him, advised him to sleep with her, but this large, tall woman inspired the teenager with a purely physical disgust. In addition, he had a beloved girl.

Seeing his negative attitude, the coach somehow hinted to him that it largely depends on her whether he will be included in the main team of the youth team, she can put in a word for him, and say against, and his coach will listen to her, since he her old friend. Cyril's persecution weighed on her, and he even thought about moving to another club.

Once, when they were at a competition in another city, the coach entered Kirill's room when the neighbor was not there, allegedly asking him if he would take part in the excursion that was organized for them, then she asked about something else, and despite obvious embarrassment teenager, sat down next to him, hugged him by the shoulders. Kirill sat tense, not knowing how to behave. Upbringing did not allow him to be rude or alienate an adult woman. When she began to unbutton his trousers, he abruptly jumped up and indignantly asked: “Why are you doing this? Shame on you?! You are good for me as a mother! " She laughed in response and said that it does not matter at all, there is no age in love, and if he is still a virgin, then she will be a good teacher for him. She tried again and almost pulled off his trousers, despite his resistance, and at that moment the head of the national team entered, along with two guys from the team. Everyone froze in place, and the woman said that Cyril himself lured her into his room and harassed her.

Kirill was severely reprimanded for "immoral behavior" and was almost expelled from the team. As he says, the most offensive for him was that no one stood up for him, although everyone saw that she herself persecuted him for many months. In addition, he felt disgraced, as the guys made jokes and hinted that he was impotent, so he ran from this woman like the devil from incense. Unable to withstand all this, the teenager attempted suicide.

If we are talking about molestation of a minor or coercion into acts of a sexual nature, to sexual intercourse, then this falls under Article 134 of the new Criminal Code. But in real life, there are hardly any cases when an adult woman is punished under criminal law for molestation or sexual acts towards a minor. Typically, these adolescents prefer to remain silent and hide the incident even from their parents.

It is extremely rare, but it still happens that an adult woman molests a little boy who has not reached puberty. The literature describes cases when in the last century and the beginning of this century, governess cohabiting with their young pupils. Nowadays, boys are only molested by mentally ill or mentally retarded women. Due to a mental defect, such women do not have the opportunity for a normal intimate life with adult men. They teach the child to lick their genitals (cunnilingus) or to stimulate the clitoris with their hand, while they themselves stimulate his penis, achieving an erection or sensations pleasant for the child.

8-year-old Tolya was sent by his mother to the village to his grandmother for the whole summer. He had visited his grandmother before, but usually with his mother, and that year she did not have a summer vacation. On the weekend, the mother brought her son, and then left. From previous visits, Tolya knew many of his grandmother's neighbors, and once again met them. All day long, with a band of village boys, they ran through the streets, ran to the handle to swim, caught fish, went to the forest. The grandmother was old, she did not control her grandson too much, she had no problems with him.

About a week later, a neighbor flooded the bathhouse, and Tolya's grandmother asked her to take the boy with her to the bathhouse and help him wash, as she herself was ill and had not gone to the bathhouse for a long time.

According to Tolya's mother, the villagers said about the 35-year-old neighbor that she was "weird." She had two daughters, who lived by who knows whom, she never had a husband, since she was considered "ugly", and her temporary cohabitants were only visiting builders and handymen.

According to the boy, the neighbor first washed her daughters, and then called Tolya. Lathering him, she began to “play” with his penis, saying: “Look what we already have! Almost a real man! " Tolya was not ashamed of her, as he had known for many years, and the customs in the village were simple, some children up to 3-4 years of age ran without panties. The boy was pleased with the irritation of the genitals, and after a while he had an erection. The neighbor continued to “play” with his penis, and at some point, Tole felt “good” and very pleased. The neighbor laughed and said that he had now become a "real man", and then lay down on the bench and asked Tolya to "play" with her too. She showed the boy where he should stroke, and as he himself later told, after a while “all twitched” and began to moan loudly. The child was scared that he had done wrong, so it hurts, but the woman jumped off the bench, grabbed the boy in her arms and began to circle and kiss him, saying that she was also “very good”. She asked not to tell her grandmother, saying that it was now “their secret”, it was already “big” and had to act “like a big one”. And Tolya didn't say anything to his grandmother.

A week later, it all happened again. This time, the neighbor herself suggested that Tolina's grandmother wash the boy in the bathhouse, and she willingly agreed. This happened several times, and then the neighbor began to invite the boy to her place when the daughters were not at home. First, she stimulated the child's penis and brought him to orgasm, and then asked to stroke her genitals.

Once, when Tolya had an erection, she even tried to have sexual intercourse with him, but the boy did not know what to do, although she showed him how he should move, but he did not succeed, and later she refused this ventures.

This went on all summer. Tolya told his friends what they were doing with his neighbor, was proud that he was already "big", they envied him and once even peeped out the window when Tolya was "playing" with his neighbor. To see everything in detail, they climbed on each other's shoulders, those who stood below, pushed and hurried those who had access to the window, and in the end the whole heap fell to the ground with laughter and screeching. The neighbor ran out, throwing something over herself and dispersed them. But Tolya’s grandmother didn’t know anything.

Returning home at the end of the summer, Tolya once asked his mother to “play” with him in the same way as “Aunt Varya” did. At first, the mother did not understand what kind of "games" were meant, and when the son took off his pants and showed how "Aunt Varya" was doing, the boy's mother was horrified and brought the child to me for a consultation.

In such cases, the most important thing is to destroy the existing associative connection between the pleasant sensations that the child experienced and those actions with which he experienced an orgasm. Without orgasm reinforcement, over time, everything will be forgotten and the child's sexuality will be restored within normal age limits.

If you do not have the opportunity to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist, you need to switch the child's attention to something else and, of course, save him from communicating with the molester.

And in general - when admitting someone into your family, inviting a nanny to a child, be very careful. Take a closer look at her, how she treats the child, if there are any oddities in her behavior. Otherwise, dramatic events are possible. I will cite two such cases from my practice.

Semyon is 8 years old, he is a quiet, obedient, extremely impressionable boy, from childhood he was afraid of the dark, fell asleep only in the light. When he fell asleep, his mother tiptoed into his room to put out the light, but he slept very lightly, woke up at the slightest rustle, and if the light was extinguished, he began to cry loudly and call his mother. She was forced to lie next to him for a long time, waiting for him to fall asleep, and then tried to leave very quietly. But more often than not he woke up again and she again stayed with him.

At the age of 4, his mother sent him to kindergarten in order to be able to work, but from the first days Sema cried so pitifully, did not let her go, clung to her clothes, begging not to leave him, that her heart was breaking with pity. The boy was afraid of everyone, even the teachers and children, cried all the time, and after suffering for two weeks, his mother took him and quit her job in order to be able to be with her son herself.

When Sema went to school, his mother took him away and picked him up after school. She worked part-time in order to be able to pick up the boy on time, since he categorically did not want to stay at school for an extended day and was looking forward to the arrival of his mother. He was also afraid of classmates, during recess he did not go out into the corridor, but sat at his desk. Over time, I got used to the teacher and tried to stay close to her.

Sema fell asleep as before with his mother. Sometimes she was forced to stay all night in her son's room, since waking up in the middle of the night, he could no longer fall asleep, all the time he checked with his hand whether his mother was in place. The child fell asleep only towards morning, and in the morning she could not wake him up; often because of this, he skipped school.

In the summer after the end of the 2nd grade, the mother and son stayed with their relatives in the Moscow region. The owners had an 18-year-old daughter who wanted to study in Moscow, but she had nowhere to live. Semyon's mother invited her to her place, saying that she would feed her and pay if she agreed to take the boy out of school and walk with him so that she could work full time. The girl's parents agreed.

In terms of mental development, the girl clearly did not "reach" her age, ran and played with the child, as if they were the same age, and the boy quickly became attached to the future nanny and willingly spent time with her.

In August, the girl came to them and tried to enter the trade school, but according to Semyon's mother, she was so “foolish” (that is, with a clear mental retardation) that she did not even know that to enter the school she had to pass exams ( !), so she was completely unprepared for them. This girl barely finished 8 classes of a rural school, and then worked in a greenhouse, so she had no chance to enter a school where there was a high competition.

The girl liked her new job, since the problems with housing and food disappeared, there was free money (Semyon's mother paid the nanny well), and such a life suited her perfectly. In the evenings, she did not leave the house anywhere, as she was afraid of getting lost in a city unfamiliar to her, and Semyon's mother sighed with relief, since she and her husband had the opportunity to go to the cinema or visit.

The boy willingly stayed with the nanny and played with her. She picked him up from school, walked with him in the yard, fed him and sat next to him when he prepared his lessons. She slept in the boy's room. At first, Semyon's parents put a folding chair for her for the night, but Sema was capricious in the evening, demanded that either his mother or the nanny lay next to him until he fell asleep, and the nanny began to sleep on the couch in his room.

How the molestation occurred is unknown, since his mother did not notice anything for six months.

But one night, passing by their room, she heard the girl's moans and, deciding that she was feeling bad, quietly entered the room and turned on not the overhead light, but the sconce, fearing to wake up her son. She saw that both were awake, her son licks the genitals of his nanny, and she squeezes his penis with her hands.

The woman screamed loudly, her husband came running to the cry, pulled the nanny out of bed and whipped her on the cheeks, ordering her to get out immediately. But the boy grabbed the girl with his hands, hugged her and shouted that he loved her and did not want her to leave. The parents left the girl until the morning, took their son to their room, and in the morning sent her back to the village, giving her money and ordering not to tell anyone about what had happened.

The boy cried all night, in the morning he flatly refused to go to school, trembling all over and chattering his teeth. He did not eat anything for several days, constantly cried, called the nanny, pushed his parents away, said that he hated them, did not sleep at night, and his parents were forced to put him in a psychiatric hospital.

The sexual activities of a mentally ill molester who threatens to coerce a child into sexual intercourse can lead to neurosis.

Alexey complained of a low mood, a feeling of despair and loneliness.

In the conversation, it turned out that as a child he had a nanny, an imbecile woman, whom his parents had brought from the village. She lived with them, slept in the nursery, and from the age of 4 she forced the boy to lick his genitals. If the child cried and refused, the molester pinched him painfully or twisted him by the ear, threatening that if he did not obey or tell his parents something, she would turn into a witch and enchant him. He was scared, he cried, but in the end he obeyed. The nanny inspired the boy with fear and disgust - she was a fat, unkempt woman, she smelled disgusting, but he was very afraid of her and did not say anything to his parents.

Lesha grew fearful, shuddered from sharp sounds, often cried, slept badly, woke up from nightmares and was all in tears, called his mother loudly. Parents considered him a nervous and vulnerable child, they never only did not punish him, but did not even raise their voice at him and wondered why the boy was so crying and afraid of everything. The father offered to consult his son with a child psychiatrist, but the mother objected, believing that the visit to the doctor would scare the child.

When Lesha went to school, he with tears begged his parents to leave him for an extended day, just not to see the hated nanny. He told his parents that it was easier for him to prepare lessons this way. At 6 o'clock, the nanny picked him up from school and “hissed” her threats on the way home. By this time, the parents were already at home, and the boy tried to spend all the time next to them, fearfully awaiting the night. And at night, the nanny, with beatings and threats, again forced him to stimulate his genitals or masturbated in his presence. When she began to moan and shake in convulsions, the child, not understanding what was happening to her, secretly hoped that she would suffocate and die.

This continued until Lesha was 12 years old. He no longer needed a nanny, but she did all the housework and still lived with them. By this time, Lesha already knew a lot from the stories of his peers, was burdened by his "shameful secret" and was more than anything in the world afraid that one of his classmates would find out about it. He considered himself a "dirty bastard" and a "weak-willed rag", but due to the peculiarities of his character he could not resist the cruel nanny.

When Lesha was in the 5th grade, during a medical examination, the school doctor noticed that the boy's arms, chest and back were bruised from pinches. She began to question him, and Lesha burst into tears and ran out of her office. The doctor told the class teacher about everything, and she was amazed. Lesha's parents are intelligent people with higher education, the teacher has repeatedly discussed with them why he is so fearful, shuns classmates and often cries over any trifle.

Deciding that the parents were systematically torturing the child, the teacher called them to school. They were simply shocked. At home, they interrogated both the nanny and Alexei. He admitted that she was torturing him, and did not tell them anything about her sexual harassment - he was ashamed, he was afraid that even his parents would despise him. The nanny was sent to the village, but the boy was still depressed, withdrawn and crying.

Over time, the acuteness of his feelings somewhat smoothed out, but nevertheless, for many years he suffered from an inferiority complex. His peers courted girls, and Alexei despised himself and believed that he was not worthy to communicate with girls.

After graduating from school, he went to college, but among fellow students he was alone. For himself, he wrote tragic poems about his "ruined life", that "doomed to loneliness." Once a leaf with his poems happened to be on the table of a fellow student, who decided that they were dedicated to her. She read a poem with a laugh in front of the whole group, asking which of the guys is her admirer. She did not even think about Alexei, deciding that the author was a guy she liked, and coquettishly seeking recognition from him for authorship. Arriving home, Alexei tried to poison himself by drinking some pills from the home first-aid kit, but then he got scared and caused artificial vomiting. Why he did this - and he himself does not know. He did not feel any feelings for that girl, it just seemed to him that everyone would immediately guess about "his shame."

After this incident, for a long time he was depressed, absent-minded, almost did not sleep at night, and during the day he “nodded” at lectures and started classes. He did not pass the summer session and his parents, fearing that he would be expelled from the institute, decided to issue an academic leave, allegedly due to illness. The therapist found no reason for Alexei to be released from school, and after the examination, the neuropathologist recommended that he see a psychiatrist.

Ephebophilia (sexual attraction to adolescents) can occur in both adult men and adult women. In these cases, molestation is more overt, with persuasion or coercion into sexual intercourse. The libertine is a stumbling block for those who know him. (Pierre Bouast).

Nothing accelerates old age more than excessive drinking, unbridled love and lust that knows no measure.

Erasmus of Rotterdam

Sexual intercourse between an adult woman and a teenager can be episodic - in this case, we are not talking about perversion (sexual deviation of a non-pathological nature). But there may also be a stable attraction of a woman to teenage boys with a lack of interest in men. In this case, we are talking about perversion (sexual perversion), which is called ephebophilia.

In the lives of many men, there was a connection with an adult woman when they were still underage themselves. Some women like to act as a mentor, teaching the boy all the intricacies of carnal love. There may be maternal feelings for the teenager. And some women like the sincerity, affection and romantic feelings of adolescents, they prefer them over men, considering them more cynical and selfish.

Society has a negative attitude towards the fact that an adult woman has a long-term sexual relationship with a teenager, and such women prefer to hide their attachments. This problem cannot be assessed unambiguously.

In many cases, feelings are mutual - a teenager falls in love with his adult mistress. Personally, I find it difficult to evaluate such cases. I saw a lot of them, and usually the conflict occurred when other people intervened, most often the parents of the teenager. They can also be understood - no one wants a grown woman to molest his son.

Lovers of different ages themselves most often desperately defended their right to love and demanded that everyone leave them alone.

Modern adolescents mature early and from the age of 13-15, and sometimes even earlier, they live sexually with their peers. Therefore, it is difficult to be an arbiter here. All participants in the conflict evoke sympathy and empathy - both a teenager in love, who is forbidden by his parents to meet with his beloved, and a woman, whom everyone condemns, and parents who are worried about their son.

But there are also cases when a woman forces a teenager to intimacy - not necessarily with the help of physical violence, but using his addiction or psychological pressure. There may be threats, intimidation, blackmail.

Kirill is 15 years old, he is a tall, handsome boy, looks older than his years, an athlete. He had a girl with whom he was in love, met for about a year, had a sex life.

In the 8th grade, the coach of the women's basketball team began to literally pursue him. She constantly came across him on the way when he went to the gym, flirted with him, spoke ambiguities, offered to spend the evening together, visit her at home, came to workout and watched him, under various pretexts went into the locker room when he was changing.

He did not like her at all, but he was somehow embarrassed to answer with rudeness to an adult woman. The boy began to avoid her, came running late, hoping that she would think that he had missed the workout, and if she left the coaching room to meet him, he quickly ran down the corridor, saying that he was late. He tried to constantly be among the other guys so that the woman would not come up with another invitation. The guys from the team began to make fun of him, advised him to sleep with her, but this large, tall woman inspired the teenager with a purely physical disgust. In addition, he had a beloved girl.

Seeing his negative attitude, the coach somehow hinted to him that it largely depends on her whether he will be included in the main team of the youth team, she can put in a word for him, and say against, and his coach will listen to her, since he her old friend. Cyril's persecution weighed on her, and he even thought about moving to another club.

Once, when they were at a competition in another city, the coach entered Kirill's room when the neighbor was not there, allegedly asking him if he would take part in the excursion that was organized for them, then she asked about something else, and despite obvious embarrassment teenager, sat down next to him, hugged him by the shoulders. Kirill sat tense, not knowing how to behave. Upbringing did not allow him to be rude or alienate an adult woman. When she began to unbutton his trousers, he abruptly jumped up and indignantly asked: “Why are you doing this? Shame on you?! You are good for me as a mother! " She laughed in response and said that it does not matter at all, there is no age in love, and if he is still a virgin, then she will be a good teacher for him. She tried again and almost pulled off his trousers, despite his resistance, and at that moment the head of the national team entered, along with two guys from the team. Everyone froze in place, and the woman said that Cyril himself lured her into his room and harassed her.

Kirill was severely reprimanded for "immoral behavior" and was almost expelled from the team. As he says, the most offensive for him was that no one stood up for him, although everyone saw that she herself persecuted him for many months. In addition, he felt disgraced, as the guys made jokes and hinted that he was impotent, so he ran from this woman like the devil from incense. Unable to withstand all this, the teenager attempted suicide.

If we are talking about molestation of a minor or coercion into acts of a sexual nature, to sexual intercourse, then this falls under Article 134 of the new Criminal Code. But in real life, there are hardly any cases when an adult woman is punished under criminal law for molestation or sexual acts towards a minor. Typically, these adolescents prefer to remain silent and hide the incident even from their parents.

It is extremely rare, but it still happens that an adult woman molests a little boy who has not reached puberty. The literature describes cases when in the last century and the beginning of this century, governess cohabiting with their young pupils. Nowadays, boys are only molested by mentally ill or mentally retarded women. Due to a mental defect, such women do not have the opportunity for a normal intimate life with adult men. They teach the child to lick their genitals (cunnilingus) or to stimulate the clitoris with their hand, while they themselves stimulate his penis, achieving an erection or sensations pleasant for the child.

8-year-old Tolya was sent by his mother to the village to his grandmother for the whole summer. He had visited his grandmother before, but usually with his mother, and that year she did not have a summer vacation. On the weekend, the mother brought her son, and then left. From previous visits, Tolya knew many of his grandmother's neighbors, and was glad to meet them again. All day long with a band of village boys, they ran through the streets, ran to the handle to swim, caught fish, went to the forest. The grandmother was old, she did not control her grandson too much, she had no problems with him.

About a week later, a neighbor flooded the bathhouse, and Tolya's grandmother asked her to take the boy with her to the bathhouse and help him wash, as she herself was ill and had not gone to the bathhouse for a long time.

According to Tolya's mother, the villagers said about the 35-year-old neighbor that she was "weird." She had two daughters, who lived by who knows whom, she never had a husband, since she was considered "ugly", and her temporary cohabitants were only visiting builders and handymen.

According to the boy, the neighbor first washed her daughters, and then called Tolya. Lathering him, she began to “play” with his penis, saying: “Look what we already have! Almost a real man! " Tolya was not ashamed of her, as he had known for many years, and the customs in the village were simple, some children up to 3-4 years of age ran without panties. The boy was pleased with the irritation of the genitals, and after a while he had an erection. The neighbor continued to “play” with his penis, and at some point, Tole felt “good” and very pleased. The neighbor laughed and said that he had now become a "real man", and then lay down on the bench and asked Tolya to "play" with her too. She showed the boy where he should stroke, and as he himself later told, after a while “all twitched” and began to moan loudly. The child was scared that he had done wrong, so it hurts, but the woman jumped off the bench, grabbed the boy in her arms and began to circle and kiss him, saying that she was also “very good”. She asked not to tell her grandmother, saying that it was now “their secret”, it was already “big” and had to act “like a big one”. And Tolya didn't say anything to his grandmother.

A week later, it all happened again. This time, the neighbor herself suggested that Tolina's grandmother wash the boy in the bathhouse, and she willingly agreed. This happened several times, and then the neighbor began to invite the boy to her place when the daughters were not at home. First, she stimulated the child's penis and brought him to orgasm, and then asked to stroke her genitals.

Once, when Tolya had an erection, she even tried to have sexual intercourse with him, but the boy did not know what to do, although she showed him how he should move, but he did not succeed, and later she refused this ventures.

This went on all summer. Tolya told his friends what they were doing with his neighbor, was proud that he was already "big", they envied him and once even peeped out the window when Tolya was "playing" with his neighbor. To see everything in detail, they climbed on each other's shoulders, those who stood below, pushed and hurried those who had access to the window, and in the end the whole heap fell to the ground with laughter and screeching. The neighbor ran out, throwing something over herself and dispersed them. But Tolya’s grandmother didn’t know anything.

Returning home at the end of the summer, Tolya once asked his mother to “play” with him in the same way as “Aunt Varya” did. At first, the mother did not understand what kind of "games" were meant, and when the son took off his pants and showed how "Aunt Varya" was doing, the boy's mother was horrified and brought the child to me for a consultation.

In such cases, the most important thing is to destroy the existing associative connection between the pleasant sensations that the child experienced and those actions with which he experienced an orgasm. Without orgasm reinforcement, over time, everything will be forgotten and the child's sexuality will be restored within normal age limits.

If you do not have the opportunity to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist, you need to switch the child's attention to something else and, of course, save him from communicating with the molester.

And in general - when admitting someone into your family, inviting a nanny to a child, be very careful. Take a closer look at her, how she treats the child, if there are any oddities in her behavior. Otherwise, dramatic events are possible. I will cite two such cases from my practice.

Semyon is 8 years old, he is a quiet, obedient, extremely impressionable boy, from childhood he was afraid of the dark, fell asleep only in the light. When he fell asleep, his mother tiptoed into his room to put out the light, but he slept very lightly, woke up at the slightest rustle, and if the light was extinguished, he began to cry loudly and call his mother. She was forced to lie next to him for a long time, waiting for him to fall asleep, and then tried to leave very quietly. But more often than not he woke up again and she again stayed with him.

At the age of 4, his mother sent him to kindergarten in order to be able to work, but from the first days Sema cried so pitifully, did not let her go, clung to her clothes, begging not to leave him, that her heart was breaking with pity. The boy was afraid of everyone, even the teachers and children, cried all the time, and after suffering for two weeks, his mother took him and quit her job in order to be able to be with her son herself.

When Sema went to school, his mother took him away and picked him up after school. She worked part-time in order to be able to pick up the boy on time, since he categorically did not want to stay at school for an extended day and was looking forward to the arrival of his mother. He was also afraid of classmates, during recess he did not go out into the corridor, but sat at his desk. Over time, I got used to the teacher and tried to stay close to her.

Sema fell asleep as before with his mother. Sometimes she was forced to stay all night in her son's room, since waking up in the middle of the night, he could no longer fall asleep, all the time he checked with his hand whether his mother was in place. The child fell asleep only towards morning, and in the morning she could not wake him up; often because of this, he skipped school.

In the summer after the end of the 2nd grade, the mother and son stayed with their relatives in the Moscow region. The owners had an 18-year-old daughter who wanted to study in Moscow, but she had nowhere to live. Semyon's mother invited her to her place, saying that she would feed her and pay if she agreed to take the boy out of school and walk with him so that she could work full time. The girl's parents agreed.

In terms of mental development, the girl clearly did not "reach" her age, ran and played with the child, as if they were the same age, and the boy quickly became attached to the future nanny and willingly spent time with her.

In August, the girl came to them and tried to enter the trade school, but according to Semyon's mother, she was such a "fool" (that is, with an obvious mental retardation) that she did not even know that to enter the school you had to pass exams (! ), so she was completely unprepared for them. This girl barely finished 8 classes of a rural school, and then worked in a greenhouse, so she had no chance to enter a school where there was a high competition.

The girl liked her new job, since the problems with housing and food disappeared, there was free money (Semyon's mother paid the nanny well), and such a life suited her perfectly. In the evenings, she did not leave the house anywhere, as she was afraid of getting lost in a city unfamiliar to her, and Semyon's mother sighed with relief, since she and her husband had the opportunity to go to the cinema or visit.

The boy willingly stayed with the nanny and played with her. She picked him up from school, walked with him in the yard, fed him and sat next to him when he prepared his lessons. She slept in the boy's room. At first, Semyon's parents put a folding chair for her for the night, but Sema was capricious in the evening, demanded that either his mother or the nanny lay next to him until he fell asleep, and the nanny began to sleep on the couch in his room.

How the molestation occurred is unknown, since his mother did not notice anything for six months.

But one night, passing by their room, she heard the girl's moans and, deciding that she was feeling bad, quietly entered the room and turned on not the overhead light, but the sconce, fearing to wake up her son. She saw that both were awake, her son licks the genitals of his nanny, and she squeezes his penis with her hands.

The woman screamed loudly, her husband came running to the cry, pulled the nanny out of bed and whipped her on the cheeks, ordering her to get out immediately. But the boy grabbed the girl with his hands, hugged her and shouted that he loved her and did not want her to leave. The parents left the girl until the morning, took their son to their room, and in the morning sent her back to the village, giving her money and ordering not to tell anyone about what had happened.

The boy cried all night, in the morning he flatly refused to go to school, trembling all over and chattering his teeth. He did not eat anything for several days, constantly cried, called the nanny, pushed his parents away, said that he hated them, did not sleep at night, and his parents were forced to put him in a psychiatric hospital.

The sexual activities of a mentally ill molester who threatens to coerce a child into sexual intercourse can lead to neurosis.

Alexey complained of a low mood, a feeling of despair and loneliness.

In the conversation, it turned out that as a child he had a nanny, an imbecile woman, whom his parents had brought from the village. She lived with them, slept in the nursery, and from the age of 4 she forced the boy to lick his genitals. If the child cried and refused, the molester pinched him painfully or twisted him by the ear, threatening that if he did not obey or tell his parents something, she would turn into a witch and enchant him. He was scared, he cried, but in the end he obeyed. The nanny inspired the boy with fear and disgust - she was a fat, unkempt woman, she smelled disgusting, but he was very afraid of her and did not say anything to his parents.

Lesha grew fearful, shuddered from sharp sounds, often cried, slept badly, woke up from nightmares and was all in tears, called his mother loudly. Parents considered him a nervous and vulnerable child, they never only did not punish him, but did not even raise their voice at him and wondered why the boy was so crying and afraid of everything. The father offered to consult his son with a child psychiatrist, but the mother objected, believing that the visit to the doctor would scare the child.

When Lesha went to school, he with tears begged his parents to leave him for an extended day, just not to see the hated nanny. He told his parents that it was easier for him to prepare lessons this way. At 6 o'clock, the nanny picked him up from school and “hissed” her threats on the way home. By this time, the parents were already at home, and the boy tried to spend all the time next to them, fearfully awaiting the night. And at night, the nanny, with beatings and threats, again forced him to stimulate his genitals or masturbated in his presence. When she began to moan and shake in convulsions, the child, not understanding what was happening to her, secretly hoped that she would suffocate and die.

This continued until Lesha was 12 years old. He no longer needed a nanny, but she did all the housework and still lived with them. By this time, Lesha already knew a lot from the stories of his peers, was burdened by his "shameful secret" and was more than anything in the world afraid that one of his classmates would find out about it. He considered himself a "dirty bastard" and a "weak-willed rag", but due to the peculiarities of his character he could not resist the cruel nanny.

When Lesha was in the 5th grade, during a medical examination, the school doctor noticed that the boy's arms, chest and back were bruised from pinches. She began to question him, and Lesha burst into tears and ran out of her office. The doctor told the class teacher about everything, and she was amazed. Lesha's parents are intelligent people with a higher education, the teacher has repeatedly discussed with them why he is so fearful, shuns classmates and often cries over any trifle.

Deciding that the parents were systematically torturing the child, the teacher called them to school. They were simply shocked. At home, they interrogated both the nanny and Alexei. He admitted that she was torturing him, and did not tell them anything about her sexual harassment - he was ashamed, he was afraid that even his parents would despise him. The nanny was sent to the village, but the boy was still depressed, withdrawn and crying.

Over time, the acuteness of his feelings somewhat smoothed out, but nevertheless, for many years he suffered from an inferiority complex. His peers courted girls, and Alexei despised himself and believed that he was unworthy to communicate with girls.

After graduating from school, he went to college, but among fellow students he was alone. For himself, he wrote tragic poems about his "ruined life", that "doomed to loneliness." Once a leaf with his poems happened to be on the table of a fellow student, who decided that they were dedicated to her. She read a poem with a laugh in front of the whole group, asking which of the guys is her admirer. She did not even think about Alexei, deciding that the author was a guy she liked, and coquettishly seeking recognition from him for authorship. Arriving home, Alexei tried to poison himself by drinking some pills from the home first-aid kit, but then he got scared and caused artificial vomiting. Why he did this - and he himself does not know. He did not feel any feelings for that girl, it just seemed to him that everyone would immediately guess about "his shame."

After this incident, for a long time he was depressed, absent-minded, almost did not sleep at night, and during the day he “nodded” at lectures and started classes. He did not pass the summer session and his parents, fearing that he would be expelled from the institute, decided to issue an academic leave, allegedly due to illness. The therapist found no reason for Alexei to be released from school, and after the examination, the neuropathologist recommended that he see a psychiatrist.

Ephebophilia (sexual attraction to adolescents) can occur in both adult men and adult women. In these cases, molestation is more overt, with persuasion or coercion to have sexual intercourse.

She was 73, in fact,
And wisdom gave her the keys ..
And he is only 15 ... a boy.
And no one asked for love ..
***
They met in the summer one day
In the most unnecessary, lousy moment
And in general, they did not need to meet ..
But from above they said, he is here and - "Hello!"

They looked at each other reproachfully ..
She is patronizing, and so important, to match,
Her pale skin, looked round,
I forgot that there is him, in about five minutes ..

And he didn’t look at her completely.
Who is this bitch, adult mother ..
And the mop fell, the rag fell ..
She smiled, trying to hide ..

The day is over, it's time to go home,
She's going, powder, backpack,
And he so timidly and timidly words
He tries to pick everything up ..

To accompany you ?! -So, what nonsense,
They will meet you here, but no, I'll call a taxi ..
A little sad, well, bye! just do not need!
She just waved her hand to him ..

To his home, minibus, on foot,
She will gently cling to her beloved,
But something in his soul will whisper there- He!
And having chased away the thought, she will smile ...

And life will flow and twist, twist,
She is 73, she puts dinner ..
Then he takes it to work gently,
So that the darling tasted the cutlets ..

And he is all a boy, 15 - no more,
Roller skating at night ..
Clubs, girls ... but someone's heart ...
Suddenly in no hurry to forget ..

Mobile number, - "See you soon", "Bye!"
I didn't know why I was giving him the truth ..
But the numbers from the heart were written by the hand ..
I hardly understood anything myself.

And he, after all, with a smile, in his gray sweater ..
She would have tied him like this ..
If I learned to knit ... and soon ..
He will be the first to write spring ..

she's 73, she's ... he's a boy,
Where there ... grow and grow ..
But here he calls for a walk ... the deceiver ..
They had a date ..

In the park, by the sea, on foot, and the wheels,
He hid it behind his back ..
Small, stupid, nasty rollerball ..
She is in heels, in height ..

He jokes with sarcasm, a smile - a cat ..
She covers her ... lips,
Sometimes dropping into its place,
Seemed a little strict and rude ..

But the heart inside, beat so often ..
The old madame likes it ..
Feelings and laughter almost made me feel sick ..
And I remembered the youth of days ..

And he kept looking at her, it is not clear ..
She is not like everyone else ..
And in her mind she ... whispered, so sweet ..
What's wrong with me .. I'm in a dream ..

The evening ends, entrance and farewell ..
She is so timid towards him ..
Gently hugs ... touching hands,
In pursuit- Bye, I'll write ..

He enters the apartment, slides down the wall ..
In a fairy tale, or everything is in reality ..
Don't go to sleep, his sms ..
Waiting ... yes, and how can you fall asleep ..

“Thanks for the evening; (eyes lit up)
We were fine together
No kidding, sarcasm, I hope you believe
Shut up. Kiss before bed .. "

Goosebumps, playful happiness ...
What is it in her life ..
and they began to meet for a short time ..
We fell in love and waited together ..

She said goodbye to her beloved forever ..
And he was always free ..
She is 73, but she believes in a girl
Him and wonderful words ..

He doesn't understand himself, he is scared of what happened ..
Leaves everyone for her ..
But evil fate played a joke with them,
The phone is silent and silent.

When we meet, hello, she lowers
Eyes so he doesn't see tears ..
as if in shock about the sight he throws ..
And the smell of brown hair ..

She is 73, but in fact ...
Only 19 ... sorry.
He's in the brain, well, about 15 ..
But he is the same age as her ... alas ..

Such is the meeting, such an episode ..
Why did we meet in the same way ..
Not a couple, alas, and from whatever heights ..
An old woman and a boy in love.

***Old woman

She had changed her eighties long ago and resembled an abandoned and rickety house - a ruin, but still standing. About three years ago, the old woman stopped washing and changing clothes. Gray hair stuck out with sharp splinters from under the scarf, a greasy coat and incomprehensible shoes inspired pity and disgust, but, most importantly, an eerie smell, by the train of which you can unmistakably recognize: Ninka was walking here.

As far as I remember, she was always without a patronymic and surname. And now, even more so ... Only I and my household also add "aunt" to her name.

The old woman does not walk, she hobbles briskly, leaning on a stick. She always has a torn bag from the next garbage dump with her, stuffed with aluminum cans and products obtained there ... She has not bought food and has not cooked for a long time. Sometimes neighbors or strangers entertain her.

Nina cares about order. She will immediately pick up a piece of paper lying on the sidewalk and take it to the trash can, for this disgrace is a blow to Ninka's universe. This position is close to me, I must note ...

It is already difficult for her to bend down, but she asks passers-by to pick up the garbage and throw it into the trash can. And persistently! Most, lost from such a wild proposal, disdainfully agree. Nina remains very pleased - the balance of life has not been shaken. Sometimes, however, she runs into an indecent answer. But the one who encroached on the sacred receives a rebuff of such expressiveness that he begins to regret his rash refusal.

Nina is engaged in begging, more like a racketeer. Her mantra, "give money to grandma," is pronounced with convincing impudence. The intended victim usually surrenders without a fight. Almost everyone gives her alms ... The more persistent are traditionally punished with sophisticated curses.

For many years she was a threat to local postmen. All mail was picked up at the approaches to the entrance and distributed by it to the apartments. After presenting letters or receipts to Nina, they had to wash their hands with a surgical method ...

Even the old woman fervently cannot bear children. Well, except for one thing - the boy Sanya ...

***Boy

But there was no boy before ... He appeared about eight years ago with a woman. Before that, she had only a faithful person, staying in such a degree of many years of unrestrained drunkenness that, leaving the stairwell to throw garbage into the garbage chute, then thoughtfully urinated there ... Sometimes he did it in the elevator.
And when this glorious husband pleased the woman with widowhood, a boy appeared ...

Sanya is of undetermined age. Something from three years to ten, no more ... By the year of birth, it is true, he was over forty, but that is not the point. Sanya is illiterate, but who would teach him in the poorhouse where caring parents donate their "unsuccessful" children. But he is very obedient at times. And polite. Up to heartburn.

A nickname has long stuck to him, however, quite good-natured: "How are you?" For this is the main question of his whole life, he must ask everyone and everyone about business! It is imperative and necessary to answer as quickly as possible: "Good (hurt yourself, super, oh * lovable)!" Then Sanya happily replies: “This is good, what is good! Is it true, is it true, Ira (Svetochka, Ninochka, etc.)? " He asks as many times as he meets you ...

Sometimes Sanya suddenly gives out exclusively adult and amazing pearls. Here is a completely unforgettable dialogue with mom:
- You can't talk about dad like that, Sanya, he's dead!
- Yes, Lan, Mom! He was a bastard and a drunk, beat you. And you coddled him, taking me to an orphanage.
What can I say ...

*** The old woman and the boy

They are, as they say, sworn friends ... Nina, with all her irrepressibility, constantly brings up Sanya. He listens to the moralizing for a long time and patiently and happily rushes to carry out the instructions of the old woman: pick up pieces of paper, cigarette butts, cans, rake branches, and then take them to the nearest garbage site.

At first, the boy unconditionally obeyed Ninka's dictatorship, but over time it snapped in his child's head, and is he not being used under the guise of friendship? And Sanin came to puberty - he began to protest. Quarrels with my best friend took on the character of military operations. Then there was a truce. But not for long ... For Ninka, if she is already entering an educational spin, then you cannot stop her. Like the elements ...

Sanya after a dozen of the most varied and devoid of logic orders begins to get angry. His round face pours into a tomato, his movements become ragged, and finally he unleashes a torrent of insults at Nina. Starting with the "old fool" and ending with more juicy definitions, which local youth are happy to teach him. Then the old woman predicts that his tongue will dry out and threatens to complain to her mother. The prospect of losing his speech scares Sanya, and the mention of his mother (this is sacred!) Outrages him to the core. He begins to shoot small pebbles and branches at Ninka, while giggling madly and continuing to shower with curses. Then the old woman, where only the strength comes from, barks at the whole area: "Emma, ​​Emma, ​​your Sanya obi-eee-ee-aaa-eet!"

When she really wants drama, she begins to call the police ...
This show is so familiar that when Nina does not appear for a couple of days or Sanya is not allowed out of the house, then a kind of emptiness is immediately felt.

It does not bother me to answer endlessly to the main question of Sanya, and I do not hesitate in the presence of a large crowd of people to politely answer Nina's usual wish: "God bless you!"

I have no doubt that the old woman and the boy are closely guarded by their angels. You go home from work or from an evening walk, and Nina and Sanya sit on the benches opposite each other and eat with gusto the ice cream, which the old woman generously allocated from her daily tribute. And the rays of the setting sun illuminate with a backlight over their heads a kind of halo, as in old paintings with saints. Blessed ...