Hello.
Recently, I have very big problems with my studies. Algebra and geometry are not given to me at all, a complete zero in these subjects. The marks on them are simply awful, for a quarter 3, maybe soon there will be 2. There is no money for a tutor. I am terribly afraid of the teacher in these subjects, she shouts at me all the time. I'm in 8th grade, I think I won't be able to take the OGE in algebra.
I always wanted to become a translator, but my mother said that nothing would work for me and that I would not become anyone at all if I did not learn algebra. But I can't, every day I try to understand something, but nothing happens. All subjects except algebra and geometry seem to be given normally. I also fell ill with a sore throat, for the second week I have already been ill, in general, I must have fallen behind a lot. I am terribly afraid to go to school, because my grades in algebra and geometry are terrible, but I don’t know how to correct them, the teacher does not allow me to correct them. I also study in another city.
What to do? In general, why live if no one believes in you and you will not succeed in life?
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Vlada, age: 14/26/11/2016
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Vlada, dear !!! algebra and geometry are not the main thing in life! it is not easy for everyone. I can say that only a few! I never got it and I graduated from school with two triples)) guess what subjects) - but nevertheless, this did not prevent me from getting two higher educations in life with honors) and my daughter also has a triple (((although the rest - she is an excellent student. Your mom, of course, wants your grades to be better - every mom wants that) Mom believes in you, she just worries herself. This is evident, according to her. If you pass your exams - believe me) In your place , I would have talked to my mother, I would have told that it is difficult for you and you are very, very worried. Then I would have talked with the teacher - ours agreed to study at school additionally and for free. Why are teachers afraid ??? Exams ??? Sunny, these are such trifles , but for you now this is a big problem. Talk about your worries with your mom - tell everything as it is. Pray, ask the Lord for help - he knows your worries) You try to do what you can - read the paragraph carefully, ask what it is incomprehensible to the teacher after school - she, too, with in It’s difficult, there are many of you, the work is hard. Let there be a C. It's not scary. Why should you ruin your life because of assessments? Is your precious life, given by God, so little appreciated ??? And you will have a lot of interesting things ahead) You will not go to work as a math teacher) You have many other talents! I believe that! God believes in you - after all, he made you special! And you will succeed! I pray for you and hug you! God bless you!
Anfisa, age: 37/11/26/2016
There are a lot of economists, and there are translators who earn great money. Learn languages. You may be a polyglot.
Maybe someone at home decides that he has bad grades in foreign language. Find yourself a friend, she will help you with algebra, and you will help her with Languages.
The profession of a translator is very successful.
People with knowledge of languages are always in demand.
Often parents: they frustrate their own fears on their children.
Ask for help.
Explain that you are looking for help, that you are looking for a girlfriend with whom you can work.
And just keep quiet about the translator. And take care of your dream. And do everything to achieve it.
There are a lot of universities, there are a lot of specialties and professions.
I wish you good luck.
But dreams also change. I used to want to be an ecomist. But before entering the institute, I was already interested in another specialty.
Look at the school: as a place where you have the opportunity to choose those subjects that interest you.
Tell your mom or someone in the family that you are guarding your teacher.
Dear, you grow up and forget about algebra and this teacher. Take care of yourself and your nerves.
I wish you to pass all your exams successfully. Successfully enter the university.
Learn and be fluent in different languages and work as a translator.
God help you
Jasmine, age: 11/26/2016
Hello! Vlada, if languages are given to you, then you may well become a translator, why not ?! And algebra won't hurt you. It is clear that it is not worth bringing up to twos, but it is not correct to think that you will not achieve anything because of a couple of difficult subjects. Be sure to finish school, pass the exams, enter, I believe in you!
Irina, age: 28/27/11/2016
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Who is in general more afraid of school, parents or children? How to deal with childhood fears and what to do to make the child feel more confident and calm? Here are some psychological tricks and books to help children overcome dydascaleinophobia.
Yes, that's the real name for a real phobia! This word is called the fear of children in front of school. Of course, a phobia in the full sense of the word, especially such an exotic one, is quite rare. But the unpleasant feeling at the thought that "soon to school" is familiar to many - both children and their parents. While some schoolchildren are looking forward to the "Day of Knowledge" to see their friends and immerse themselves in a busy school life, others are sad and afraid.
Sometimes the reason for fear is a transition to a new status (first grader or high school student) or to a new educational institution. Memories of unpleasant school stories, insults, ridicule, a biased teacher and, moreover, bullying can also poison the first days of September. It is difficult to go to school for those who have been ill a lot in the past year and feel insecure. Or, on the contrary, the parents tortured the child with additional activities in the summer so that no thirst for knowledge was left by September. And some children over the summer, alas, did not have time to forget the feeling of constant stress, unbearable stress and fatigue that they have associated with studying at school.
What can you do to make your child less worried about school?
Here's what psychologists advise:
- It is better to introduce first graders to the first teacher and the school building in advance, especially if they did not go to kindergarten. Try to tell them in detail why school is needed, how their day will go, what will change and what will remain the same, who will accompany them to school and meet after school, when they can walk, play and communicate with their parents.
- If your child is afraid of meeting classmates or teachers, efforts should be made to find out who is upsetting him or her. Talk to your classmates' parents, homeroom teacher and school counselor, invite your child's friends over to visit, or go to the movies with them to watch them interact. Let the child feel your concern and your protection: if he feels bad, become his advocate in a difficult situation, show him that he can always rely on you.
- For those children who find it difficult to study, you can come up with pleasant activities in advance, where they will enjoy the process and where they will feel successful. It can be dancing, sports or creative circles.
- It is important for parents not to worry themselves, so as not to pass on their anxiety to their children. The calm attitude of mom and dad to study and especially to the child's success will show him that parents will always be on his side, explain, protect, help. Let your child know that school is only part of life, and the world will not collapse from bad grades or criticism for bad behavior.
- Finally, if you feel that the child is close to panic and no calming measures affect him, it makes sense to consult a psychologist. It is not always easy for parents to recognize the deeper causes of childhood fear that are understood by a specialist. It may well be that one or several consultations will make the life of the whole family safer and more joyful.
- There is another obvious way to reduce anxiety. Help your child believe that he is ready for school life, that his intellectual resources will be enough to cope with his studies. To do this, practice verbal counting in a playful way, try to read aloud a couple of paragraphs of a children's book at speed, play words more often, learn a few poems, tongue twisters and riddles that the child likes.
What to read?
To always have interesting and varied tasks at your fingertips, we have prepared a selection of Clever books from the collection "Ready for school!" ... It features reading simulators and lots of fun assignments with stickers for different ages. There is an excellent student's quiz for those who go to the first or second grade, and a collection of olympiad problems in mathematics. Books are perfect for future first graders and primary school students.
Author's course of preparation for reading by Irina Maltseva (4-6 years old). There is the experience of a well-known teacher, a game form of presentation, detailed step-by-step instructions for parents. Children will not only quickly learn to read, but will also expand their ideas about the world.
- a new training book of the "Super Experts" series. You can take a small book with you on the road so as not to get bored. Children are invited to color complex objects according to the pattern, solve the secret code and find out the names of animals. So in the game you can master the entire program of the senior group of the kindergarten and feel like a real superhero, ready to fight the unknown difficulties of the first school year.
It's hard to get used to studying after the holidays, and there is such a long third quarter ahead! You will inevitably become sad. And anxious children again have problems that have fallen asleep. And one of them is school fears, which are often intensified due to a change in the rhythm of life, stress, illness.
School for children is the main society. A lot of responsibilities and desires are associated with it. Unsurprisingly, most fears are concentrated here. One student is unsure of himself and is afraid to raise his hand; it is difficult for another to communicate with classmates. Often there is a fear of test work, and quite often schoolchildren, especially younger ones, are afraid of the teacher. Anxiety is different, and they depend on the nature of the child and his psychological defense.
Fear itself is not always unambiguously harmful. It relieves us of unnecessary risk, helps us to adapt to the situation. But sometimes anxiety becomes constant and makes life very difficult. Then it is necessary to pay serious attention to the emotional state of the child and think about the reasons for its deterioration.
Fear or anxiety?
The word "afraid" for children does not always mean fear. This is how the child can call other sensations: “I don’t feel like it”, “I am worried”. Help your son or daughter understand how she is feeling. “When it is really a school neurosis, its manifestations (depression or aggression) intensify during the period of study,” explains Tatiana Avdulova, associate professor at the Department of Developmental Psychology at Moscow State Pedagogical University. "If the state improves during the holidays, the child enthusiastically discusses various topics, but at the same time rejects everything related to school, this is a reason to take a closer look at the situation."
Who is more often afraid
The easiest way is to blame problems on an overly picky teacher. This happens, of course, but more often the reasons are much deeper. It is important to pay attention to the relationship at home. Anxiety, like a sprout that enters the prepared soil, develops when the psychological defense is reduced. It is formed in the family.
Disturbing "seedlings":
1. Constant parental dissatisfaction. Then the child is always waiting for trouble, self-doubt arises. Such children may be afraid of everything.
2. Excessive requirements. Increased exactingness deprives the child of comfort: he is not understood even in the family. A feeling of inferiority appears. Lyudmila Anshakova, psychologist: “Children are afraid of what they might be punished for. Nevertheless, there is a desire to violate the prohibition, and a vicious circle turns out. The image of a parent at the school door or another authority figure (teacher) is intimidating. Specific fears (of closed doors) appear ”.
3. Hyper-care. Children, who are not used to making decisions on their own, find it difficult to be in a peer group.
Practice
1. If you are afraid to go to school
This often happens after vacation or illness. Invite your son or daughter to agree with a classmate and go to school together.
2. If you are afraid to raise your hand and go to the board
Often, parents persuade the child not to be afraid and thereby fix the fear. “It makes more sense to focus on a specific reason: were you afraid because you learned poorly or didn't know the exact answer?” - comments Lyudmila Anshakova.
3. Fear of answering incorrectly
Teach anxiety management: "You have the opportunity to prepare (learn a lesson, think about how to behave)." Practice public speaking often. It's easier to speak from the third person. Play as if it is not the child himself who speaks, but the one he portrays.
4. With excitement
Explain to the children that this is a positive feeling that spurs action. Excitement can be tempered by simple techniques - take a deep breath, think over the first phrase.
5. Before the test
Do not exaggerate its importance ("You need to sleep, because tomorrow is a test!"). Transfer the event to the rank of privates ("Such checks happen all the time in life").
6. If the student is afraid of the teacher
There are, of course, cases when it is wiser to change the teacher, but first it makes sense to work with the situation. In any case, explain to the child the meaning of the school requirements: this is not the teacher's arbitrariness, but the desire to follow the general rules. Play different situations: a child becomes a teacher, and one of the parents becomes a student.
7. In case of uncertainty
Parental control should not be step-by-step, but final. Let's say we ask you to buy bread, but we don't say which one and in which store.
8. With difficulties in communication
Invite classmates to visit, come up with interesting events. Try so that in a new company or in a new place the child is not alone, but with someone from familiar people.
9. For all situations
Tempering, a clear daily routine, and walking before bed help to cope with anxiety and fear. And if with the onset of darkness, fears intensify? “By the end of the day, physical fatigue builds up, and then anxiety fades into the background,” explains psychologist Lyudmila Anshakova. - Parents are nearby, the body is already a little relaxed, nothing happened. As a result, fears become clouded. "
10. Anatomizing fears
We speak or draw. The image can be put in a cage, covered up or even torn. The main thing is to bring emotions to the surface, not to keep them in yourself.
When the children are 6-7 years old, it’s time to go to first grade. But what if your child is afraid of school? The fear of being left without the support of mom and dad in an unfamiliar place and with strangers is quite understandable. If persuasion does not work, parents begin to feel anxious. There is no need to despair - the advice of a psychologist will come to the rescue.
Why does school phobia occur?
There are several reasons why a child is afraid to go to school. New life can scare him; the baby is used to being close to family people. At the same time, shy children or those who have not attended kindergarten may have difficulty communicating. This also leads to the development of a phobia.
Classmates and teachers are strangers with whom you need to make friends. What if the first grader fails to find a common language with one of them? It scares and makes even adults who get a new job nervous. If this is the main reason that the child is afraid to go to school, the advice of a psychologist will help solve this situation.
A bad impression of an educational institution in a kid can also develop as a result of rash statements by parents about a negative learning experience and the rigor of disciplines. Stories like these can give him the impression that school life is incredibly difficult, which means it's best to try to avoid it. This line of behavior can even lead to absenteeism and runaways from home.
The reason that the child is afraid to go to school may be the increased physical and psycho-emotional stress. Yesterday your son or daughter played with friends and had fun; today they have to learn lessons and get good grades. They have special requirements that must be met. Even a first grader with a high level of intelligence can become anxious and lose confidence.
The child is afraid to go to school: what to do?
Some helpful tips can help you understand the causes of your baby's phobia. It is not recommended to force and scold a child, because such upbringing will aggravate the situation. To get your daughter or son to go to school with a smile on their face, start preparing them for adulthood in advance. May the first school year bring them joy and fun. Talk about the benefits of studying, making new friends, and learning interesting things.
So, if a child is afraid to go to school, what should parents do? Consider the recommendations of psychologists:
If your son or daughter has been afraid to go to class for the second or third year, it is worth talking to the teachers. Perhaps they are offended by their peers or high school students, the teacher is biased. Any deviations from the norm you notice should not be ignored. If you could not cope with the situation on your own, contact a psychologist.
Where can I sign up for a consultation with a psychologist?
Is your child afraid of school? What to do in this situation and where to go? The most correct thing to do is to visit the Insight psychological center. He will develop a separate course of classes, counseling or psychological training for your baby, which will help you get rid of this phobia forever. Call us!
In the life of every kid there comes a moment when he grows up and turns from yesterday's kindergarten into a first grader. It would seem that both mom and dad were preparing for school, and in kindergarten the teacher tried to teach everything that a first-grade student should know, but there is still a feeling of fear of school.
Sometimes the children themselves cannot explain what caused it, because friends will study with him, and he went to preparatory courses, met the teacher. But the feeling of fear does not disappear. Some kids are even capable of throwing a tantrum before going to school or clinging to their mother's hand and not letting her go when she, having accompanied her child to school, goes towards the exit from the building.
School scares the unknown ...
Parents shouldn't worry about such scenes. This is completely normal. After all, the first year of school is considered the most difficult for students. This is a watershed moment in a child's life. Indeed, with the advent of the school, the child's usual life changes dramatically. The workload increases, new relationships are formed, and daily games are replaced by training sessions. For a baby, all this is a lot of stress. He needs a certain time to adapt to new conditions.
Let's find out what exactly might scare your child.
Firstly, it is the increased workload. At the same time, not only physical, but also psycho-emotional. Yesterday the kid played games with friends, and today he should receive knowledge and confirm it daily with his answers to the assessment. Many academic disciplines are a big challenge for a child, because each subject teaches something different and requires you to fulfill certain responsibilities in the classroom. Sometimes even students with a high level of intelligence get lost and anxious.
Secondly, when a child goes to school, he realizes that his responsibility is increasing. Now you can't just "quit the game." It has special requirements that must be met. Also in his life there is such a thing as "school regime". And it will also have to be observed. You cannot choose which lessons to go to and which not.
Allow him to invite classmates to visit. This will help the child not to lose his position in society, and thus he will not be deprived of communication with peers. In addition, children can help your child keep up with learning new material. Learning as a team is a great way to learn a new topic.
Remember that you can always support your child by offering your services to the school. For example, becoming a member of a parent committee or participating with a class on a weekend hike. The presence of the mother will cheer up the baby, and he will begin to behave more freely.
As a last resort, you can always talk to the class teacher and talk about the problem of fear of school. The teacher will definitely listen and help. If you cooperate with the teacher, the child's adaptation will be easier and faster.
