Who doesn't like to write statuses on social networks from time to time: funny, sad, angry - it all depends on the mood and situation. And every first person posts the status of her beloved (meaningful or funny). After all, even the aphorisms of the great Faina Ranevskaya are now perceived in this way.

For the envious

If you want to "click on the nose" of your ill-wishers and look for a status about yourself, your beloved, with meaning, then check out a small selection below. Maybe there is something suitable.

• If you are discussing me, then you care. It's all the same to me, and I'm not discussing you. Once upon a time, you know.
• Nothing motivates better than your envy: I read - and the mood rises, and I want to do great things again.
• Yes, beautiful, yes, smart, yes, sexy. With a fur coat, a car and a tough guy. Who's stopping you?
• Before throwing a stone into my garden, take a closer look at yours. Have you looked closely? That's the same.
• I love to upload photos, so many new and interesting things about myself, my beloved, I find out at once.
• To those who visit my page more often than theirs, I can only say one thing: I am smart and beautiful, and you only confirm this.

With humor

Are you in a good mood or want to fool around a bit? Then a status about yourself, beloved, with meaning, but comic, will do.

• I am not a princess or a queen. I am a goddess. Bow down.
• I wake up, look in the mirror: my eyes are swollen, there is a trace of a pillow on my cheek ... Isn't it a miracle?
• They say that where we are not, it is always good. But where I am is always awesome!
• Rare view. Piece copy. Exclusive tuning. Unique firmware. True, there are no guarantees. Only for those who are not afraid to take risks.
• I am a real girl: I say one thing, think another, do the third, but dream ... Oh, what I just do not dream about!

• Let the women stop the galloping horses, and I am the girl. So give me coffee and a cake.
• Today I am white and fluffy, like an angel. Because I forgot the broom at home.
• I'm not vindictive, I just have a good memory.
• I have no cockroaches in my head. They have long been devoured by some terrible monster.
• I am all so sudden, all contradictory. Already the most scary.
• Wakes up - you can't just put it to sleep.
• Blonde, smart and beautiful. Not looking for anyone. I'm just showing off.
• I'm like a convertible. The same steep and without a roof.
• I get started easily, start quickly, cool down slowly.
• Professionally stepping on the same rake. Maybe it's time to give master classes?
• I am kind, very kind. When I get enough sleep.

Add poison

Looking for something special? Then a status about yourself, beloved, with meaning (bitch) will do.

• If a bitch is a woman who knows what she wants and how to achieve it, then yes, this is about me.
• Today I wanted to be a sweet and kind girl. Until my inner bitch woke up and sent this venture to hell.

• Bitchiness is not a flaw, it is
• I am not a boor, but a virtuoso of the word: I don’t use foul language, but I send it beautifully.
• Why did we break up? I was bored. Yes, that happens too.
• It's hard to be a princess when the crown is slipping.
• I will not run after you, wait for calls or SMS. I don't like it - the door is there.
• I do not allow myself too much, you allow yourself too little.
• To communicate with a man, you need only two fingers: beckon with the index, and send with the middle.
• To be respected, first learn to respect yourself, and not whine that someone has a better life.

Status about yourself, beloved

With meaning, you may like these phrases:

• Yes, I am strong, purposeful, I can and can do everything. But sometimes you really want to wrap yourself in a blanket or ask for pens.
• If you leave, you can return a million more times. If I leave, then it will be forever.
• I'm not alone. I am self-sufficient.

• Even the strongest women have a right to be weak.
• Every vanilla Barbie also has a heart. And while I portray an impenetrable bitch, it cries from your rudeness and anger.

In verse

If you want to be original, then you should try to post the status to yourself, your beloved, with meaning in verse. For example, such.

I am quiet, brave, sad,

Playful, gentle, fatal.

Cheerful, pretentious, serious,

Silly, smart, groovy.

I am timid or a bitch

A granite rock, a nervous lady,

Now an angel, then an evil witch,

But the main thing is always yourself.

Looking for status in your mind, beloved, meaningful, playful and at the same time in poetry? Please!

In heels or sneakers

With or without makeup

I am equally beautiful

Well, just a miracle of miracles!

• I know how to forgive insults, but you may have to wait for this for a very long time.
• Men, don't ask me a stupid question - where have I been? It is clear that it is not with you)
• I can't determine how much champagne to drink in the morning so that it is kind ...
• I dream of such a bed ... which would stand on the seashore)
• From now on I will be more careful ... men are now very weak and touchy)
• In addition to the crown, I also have a scepter!
• Touch my bones more often - I love massage!
• I'm ready to wait ... but only a waiter with my favorite dessert!
• I want to marry for love, but in my understanding love is a fur coat, diamonds, a car ...
• Fear my silence! After all, something will definitely follow him)

I confess that my most erogenous zone is my hands, and when there are a lot of green bills in them)

• And why am I not a flight attendant? Would send everyone from the heights of heaven)
• I want the boomerang law to work when I spend money!
• The most delicious thing that you can find in my house is Me!
• Why do I do whatever I want? - Because there is no ring on the ring finger!
• I'll make a certain amendment - I'm not a riddle, but a riddle!

Funny statuses about yourself, about the positive

• I'm so unpredictable and I'm not going to change!
• Where do I light up? - Ask Google!)
• I'm just superb! Keep your fists for me)
• I do not have a cold of love and therefore do not act recklessly.
• Sponsor of my life - good mood every day!
• My second profession is a fairy godmother)
• I just regularly go to depilation, and so I'm fluffy)
• I give preference to dancers ... who are ready to dance to my tune)
• I'm ready to sacrifice my expensive lipstick, but only so that the mascara never spreads!
• When I find myself in an incomprehensible situation, I start to dance ... let everyone also be in incomprehensibility!
• What I am not, but for someone I am the woman of his dreams.

Don't look at my photo! It's just that a bad photographer is caught.

• She promised everyone to quit smoking ... and now how to live? I'm thinking ..
• In my heart I have an incomprehensible age - sometimes I am hunting for maternity leave, then I am already retiring ...
• Don't talk to me about marriage! Do I look like a suicide?
• I give free recitals - I play on my nerves professionally!
• I have a motto in my life - even if everything is bad, I try to smile sweetly.
• I will help to remove not only damage, but also money from accounts)
• I never shrug off. I saw slowly!
• Why should I behave like everyone else? I'm the only one in my mind)

New, cool statuses "about my beloved"

• I do not need to be diagnosed because I am happy!
• I'm not a squirrel to be fluffy for everyone.
• If they put horseradish on me, then I'll pickle it with cucumbers)
• When I love, I torment, irritate and take offense)
• The recipe for happiness is very simple - take me and carry me in your arms!
• I’m crazy, but I’m comfortable.
• From tomorrow everything will be different for me! But I haven’t decided exactly yet)
• I’m fine with diction, but I can still hiss as best I can!
• I'm always calm - it's just that my character is nervous.
• Ask, where did I get such a chiseled figure? - I admit that I sharpen at night)

My eternal age is 20, and everything else is experience!

And maybe I didn't become a star in Hollywood, but I giggle like Woody's woodpecker.

Baby, don't advertise the pain. Let everyone infuriate your drop dead.

I look in the mirror and say, "Who will get such beauty?" mom shouts from the kitchen "May God give him strength, luck, health and patience"

The man considers the Bitch the woman from whom it did not work to make the Dura.

Yesterday I fell asleep with my face in a salad, in the morning my skin was young and young! I recommend Greek to everyone and 400 vodka is a miracle!

I bought shoes - no skirt. I bought a skirt - no blouse. I bought a blouse - no jacket. I bought a jacket - there is no bag. I bought a bag - the shoes don't fit.

I, of course, the sun, but nothing shines for you here.

Public opinion is, of course, good. But I like mine better.

If I tell someone what I think about, they will first stop greeting me, and then they will burn me at the stake.

I never know what I want, but I won't rest until I get it.

I love chocolate very much. Therefore, I am sweet, but harmful.

What the hell is not joking ... the more I joke with pleasure, while the halo is recharging

I don't know what I want, but I won't rest until I achieve it! I don't need much - the very best is enough

Sometimes I pretend that I am normal, but then I get bored and I become myself!

If I said: “Nice to meet you,” then it’s not about your n * goodness, but about my upbringing!

“What beauty,” I said, looking at my ava.

I love lilies of the valley and the smell of men's perfume.

For a month I rubbed anti-aging cream into my face every day. How to quickly remove calluses from the face now?

I wanted to break his heart, but missed and broke his jaw

At the moment, the subscriber is not a subscriber.

Good girls have jobs, bad girls have sponsors, smart girls have their own business, and the smartest have everyone.

Wow! Who is this beauty? Oh, Lord, it's me!

Did you expect to see a princess in me? I'm sorry, but I killed her a couple of years ago - she was a fool!

I'm a bitch. I think it's rude. I am the queen, the rest are servants. My subscriber, catch my sounds. Those who are against die bitches!

Imagine a humble, sweet, kind, good and generally wonderful person. Have you presented? So, this is not me.

Briefly about myself: an unbalanced mental state, prone to aggressive and inappropriate behavior. In one word - honey!

I will not prove to anyone that I am good. Let them try to prove to me that I am bad. And let's see what happens.

It was hard, but the defense withstood, you are not a queen, although the crown suits you.

Men devouring me with their eyes, try not to slurp at least!

I do not like bitches. Why do I need competitors?

I'm too humble to live well.

I hear a noise in the closet, I open it - and these things are going out of fashion.

Are you waiting for a miracle? You won't wait, I'm at home today!

It seems to me that the root of the word "falling in love" is not "love", but "f * ck"

I'm like a chameleon. Either sad and silent, now serious and rude, now calm and gentle, now crazy and laughing until I drop.

I am a queen, I shoot stars from the sky. Playful gait, graceful beauty.

This morning while I was painting, I fainted from my beauty five times!

I didn’t sleep all day, didn’t eat all night. Of course, I'm tired!

Quitting smoking - what could be easier? Personally, I've done it a million thousand times.

I'm like a little girl: there are a lot of toys, but I need exactly the one that the other girl has.

Selfish, cunning, but sweet bastard.

In terms of work efficiency, today I am somewhere at the level of an eggplant.

He held my waist, and I held him for an idiot. We sat and chatted, he - about love, and I - with my foot.

I'm not mad at myself at all. How can you get mad at perfection ?!

"Here I am!". There is no more good news for today.

Harm is a difficult socio-psychological work for which no one pays, but you get pleasure from it.

I cannot give false compliments, so I say sincere nasty things.

Yes, so that I fail to New York!

I decided not to eat after six. I'm going to drink borscht!

Oh, come on, people like me also marry.

I wanted to become the best - they didn’t let me! I wanted to become the worst - I couldn't. I had to remain unique!

If you have nothing else, cherish your delusions. Maybe at least so show your individuality.

Thank you for having me with you!

I'm not a bitch or a bitch - it's just that life is such a thing.

If I stress or annoy you, then you can always huddle in a corner and cry.

I will call you Boeing. Because I have you 747.

Modesty is my hallmark! Immediately after beauty and genius of course!

I live like this - so that every bastard would remember me.

In 2 days I realized, no matter what to drink, expensive whiskey or ordinary cognac, my head hurts equally.

I say what I think, so I am silent.

Today I am a bitch, and tomorrow I am a defenseless angel. And I like it

My hair is chocolate, I smell like caramel, strawberry syrup runs through my veins, my lips taste like cherry juice. I'm too sweet. Your ass will stick together!

Yes, I am harsh, sometimes echidna, Obedience is not visible in me, Stubborn and rude at times, As hot-tempered as gunpowder, I will not hide But this is all - just a view from the outside, Inside, believe me, it's even worse !!!

My conscience is clear, I don't use it.

I'm happy with the default! Please do not meddle in the settings!

I'm a riddle girl. I can stain your whole life.

To everyone for whom I dream, I promise to come true.

I, of course, not perfect, but still a masterpiece.

Her own mistress. I want - I'm getting fat, I want - I'm losing weight, I want - I'm sick, I want - I'm bastard. The main thing is that I don’t regret the past.

I was told that I am in love, it is not! I just know how to forget unnecessary information.

I'm only seemingly fragile and defenseless. Fire in my veins, fire in my chest. I have a very flammable character. And a fire extinguisher will not help here!

How beautiful I am, it’s scary to look in the mirror.

Hearing gossip behind our backs, we thus pay for our beauty, no more.

So what if I am small, but I can reach my hearts.

There are millions like you, like me, no more.

I am smart because I am modest, and therefore so beautiful!

Diplomatic negotiations are for me, I will bring the matter to a conflict!

And don't think that I'm lazy! I'm purposeful! It's just that my goal is not to strain!

Let me introduce myself - princess!

I'm like Coca-Cola, I know it's rubbish, but I like it.

Previously, I had no luck with men. Time has passed. I grew wiser, wiser. Now men have no luck with me.

You shouldn't be too persistently interested in my life. It can be so interesting that you will be disappointed in yours.

We have three of us love: I love myself, I love myself, I love me, and we are happy.

Well, FSUs that the wind is in the head, but the hair develops beautifully.

Never forget the rule of three ns: Nothing is Impossible!

Sweet. As a child, I was dropped into syrup.

Girls princesses are only in fairy tales. In fact, we also smoke, drink vodka, reinstall Windows ourselves and believe in love on weekends

New funny hilarious statuses, funny short quotes, beautiful aphorisms, the best jokes, phrases, poems and good touching sayings with meaning for VK and classmates.

Statuses about yourself beloved - - Are you offended? - No, I'm after the ax ...

Such a person I am - I do not remember evil. I have to write it down.

What should I be? I don’t know myself ... Mysterious or simple? ... Although ... men do dream .. I will be a GIRL - A DREAM !!!

I am like a little ... there are a lot of toys, but I need exactly the one that the other girl has ....

When I feel bad, I sing. And then everyone becomes bad!

I don’t know about you! And everything is great with me! Money, but money is always not enough, I don't have a mansion, there is no fireplace, I haven't been to Paris. But: the children are beautiful, healthy! The husband loves! Mom is alive! Life is Beautiful!

I have no time for those who hate me, because I spend my time on those who really need me.

I am one and the other you will not have, because I have a special appearance and a special character.

Over the years, I make fewer and fewer mistakes. But on the other hand, their quality is undoubtedly growing.

There is no harder job than trying to look beautiful from eight in the morning until midnight.

I am not a countess, but I behave with dignity. And I don't show it if it hurts ...

I washed the floors, wiped the dust, washed my clothes, sorted out the dishes, cleaned up, washed the bath ... Damn! I want to marry myself!

I'm not trying to prove that it's easy for me to live alone. I'm just tired of waiting for my prince to be found!

This is my will: if a person disappoints me, I exclude him from my life. I can greet him and talk to him, but as a person he no longer exists for me.

Just a person ... I just live as it turns out and very rarely - as I want.

Speak behind my back? It means - I am ahead! Are you discussing my life? This means that it is more interesting than yours! Are you trying to find flaws in me? So you are jealous! Continue in the same spirit!

When you start discussing what kind of sinner I am, do not forget to reconsider your life.
And I assure you, my "correct" ones, we will burn in hell together.

I got sick! Diagnosis "Acute lack of fairytale events in my life." Recipe - "Rest. Champagne. Love!"

And I sympathize with hundreds, I am fond of dozens, I admire units, but I love to devour.

I know guys that you don't like me, but kiss my ass - I won't get better!

For those who are haunted by my personal life ... I explain: My statuses are not true! With a personal one - everything is fine! There is nothing valuable on the page, all the most precious things I keep in my heart ...

I'm happy with the default, please don't touch the settings.

I look great ... I live awesome ... I behave as I see fit ... And generally I am delighted with myself.

Seeing yourself from the outside is much more important than in the mirror.

I am the happiest person in the world. No, I didn’t fall in love ... I slept well!

It doesn't matter who I am. It is important that with you I will be exactly what you deserve me.

In fact, I'm not jealous, I just don't like it when my things are touched ...

Praise yourself: the opinion remains, but the source is forgotten!

After a few disappointments, I became an iron lady. Now only I follow and control the situation and, if necessary, put an end to the relationship. But sometimes you really want someone to take, cross out and draw a comma.

I'm different. For one the former, for the other - the future, for the third - loving, selfish and bitchy. That's how I am, but I'm real.

The main thing is to love relatives, appreciate friends, have enemies, feel the moment that passes unnoticed. In short, let's enjoy life.

I can't find my love in this life. Who will find, please respond!

Best status:
I love myself, of course, stupidity. However, it is so arranged that sarcasm is full, but good to people. I know how to appreciate, thank for generosity. But most of all I want to love.

I like people who are in love with me for the feeling of ... good taste.

I am so sweet, good, gentle, a little careless, mischievous, early, I am very beautiful.

I look at myself and am surprised: she is good-looking, smart and witty, but no one needs such a beloved ... should I go to an ophthalmologist?

No, and why the heck do we have hair on our legs? It would be better if the eyelashes were longer ...

While some are waiting for fate to put a prince in their bed, I have long been sleeping with the king.

You should never bare your soul. What for? After all, for this there are legs and chest.

My boyfriend will have the most gorgeous girl! It's me!

If God is my judge, then the devil is a lawyer ...

It's so nice to be a bitch. Stop wiping your snot and join in!

Looks like I'm the coolest bitch in your life.

I love not blindly, but squinting with happiness ...

If there are no beautiful and smart at the same time, then it means ... So I do not exist?

Don't wake a bitch in me, she can't get enough sleep anyway ...

Cheerful, mischievous, clockwork doll. Alluring, scornful and just real.

I have never been able to become the one you dream of. But I can become the one that you do not get! I could not become the one that you dream of. But I can be the one you don't get!

You think that I am strange because I am not like everyone else ... And I think that you are strange because you are the same ...

Let me introduce myself - Queen! Snowy! Very cold!

I'm not a blonde, not a brunette, I'm not a meringue, I'm not a chocolate. I'm just a cocky coquette with sweet poison in my blood. I don’t look like a bagiru, and I won’t be a kitten. My soul is full of resentment, sadness froze in my eyes. They promised me a lot in life, they led me to a lot, they forgave me for all my sins. In return, they only demand love!

I hate it when someone watches me eat - I immediately try to eat gracefully and beautifully, but I will either choke or tea will pour out of my nose.

I'm good, I don't have a boyfriend, and I also like you and I love to hint!

I don't care what the party thinks ... It takes rank and preparation to hurt me ...

There are no people like me, and it’s better not.

Yes I am. I sleep a lot, I take everything to heart. I quickly get used to people, I take offense. But I am sincere.

I am tall, if in heels ... Kind, if you don't make me angry ... Loving, if you love ... Smart, if you don't ask stupid questions ...

I am your bad mood.

I'm not a bitch, but just a person with a difficult character. I am not rude, but I can say too much ... I do not believe in miracles, but I wait for them every day and every minute.

I live as I can ... I do not regret anything. I find and lose, and start from scratch. I would have told you, but they didn’t ask me how they sometimes betrayed, even those who loved… Only I didn’t give up… I laughed through my tears, so that it wouldn’t happen there. I remained myself.

I am not a switchman - I am a translator, I translate arrows.

Yes, I'm not perfect ... But real ...

I was kind until I was 2 years old. They haven't taught me how to talk yet.

I don't give a damn what you think of me, but my grandmother says that I am the sun.

I am delight ... I am disgusting ... I am passion ... I am sweet ... I can be hysterical ... I can be calm ... After all, I am a woman - this is peculiar to me!

I'm not smarter than you - you're just dumber.

Of all my qualities, only Rh is a positive factor.

Someone hates me, someone likes me ... But no one is indifferent!

I don't like this life ... I just use it.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, at the word “ASS” I faint.

Who said that I am far from ideal?!? This ideal is far from ME !!!

About me: In the morning, when I woke up, I at least knew who I was, but I think since that time I have changed several times.

I thought I was special, but it turned out - the best!

Being good for a long time does not work ... Because sooner or later they will make you bad ...

Tell me I can't and I will.

I am such a greedy person that when I go to barbecues with my friends, I secretly eat “Mezim” - so that I can fit in more!

While doing makeup this morning in front of the mirror, I fainted from my beauty five times.

My character is sugar with glass.

White and fluffy until they step on my tail.

Such as YOU, I will have a THOUSAND, such as I, you will NEVER have!

You can't understand me with your mind. My brain cannot be measured with a ruler. You just need to adore me - love, keep and rave about me!

I bought us two chocolate bars - myself and me!

A unique feeling - to be someone's happiness ...

I love good words when they are all about me!

When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m even better!

I'm tired of playing, I'm tired of winning. I need to lose ... I want to love!

I'm not arrogant - I'm squeamish.

Yes, I'm a bitch. If you know me differently, you are incredibly lucky ...

Too many guys have told me: I wish I had met you sooner. Meet me already, somebody in time!

Only cheap money knows the price of its heart, and I, with flashing eyes, will answer: "I am priceless!"

I love MYSELF, I love ME, I love ME, and WE are happy!

I was such a fool that heaven did not know, but she had a figure and awesome eyes!

No consistency. Or I'm hysterical. Or in the clouds. Air-seizure I !!!

I am like street graffiti - always unpredictable, unexpected!

I have learned to find a way out of the most confusing situations! Only one thing amazes how I find the entrance there !!!

I have no megalomania ... Great people do not suffer from this!

Something bad weather today .., with a broom would not fall!

I just have amazing intuition. I notice everything except the obvious.

I use pieces and particles of other personalities to form my own !!!

My character is not the best, but the priest is cool.

They say, only when drunk, you understand who you really love .. Bullshit! When I'm drunk, I love everyone!

I'm not sarcastic - I just say what I think.

Just think, I sobbed for a long time, sitting on the tiled floor with a glass of cognac and a crystal ashtray in front of me ... After all, she was leaving beautifully, with her head held high.

I'm not lying - I'm just good at composing.

Among the things that really interest me, your opinion of me is somewhere between the problems of migration of the long-eared owl and the peculiarities of taxation in the Congo.

I want it like “Masha and the Bear”: I am so small, impudent and clingy, but he is so big, strong, protects me and in spite of everything, he endures and will always be there!

I grew up - this is when you go into the trash at night drunk in the kitchen to drink water and think: “What the fuck. If only not to meet mom! "

I am like a little kitten that needs to be taken by the scruff of the neck, put on your knees and say: now you are mine and I will not let you go. And then I will lie down and purr gently.

And if I understand that you love me in different ways and sad, and crying, and in home clothes, and not only beautifully made up and dressed, then I will also marry you!

When I eat, I am deaf and dumb, cunning and quick and devilishly smart.

Better than me - only my reflection in the mirror !!!

I’m not a coward - I just know it’s going to end in an ass.

I went to the store for a bag, and I liked the boots, and I bought a blouse ...

He has a mind and a tough character! I have stockings, a lace bra! He is ready to take a chance and there is strength in his eyes! I have breasts ... That's it, I won !!!

Even as a child, I did not have a favorite bear cub with whom I slept. I took all my toys to my bed in turn, so as not to offend anyone.

The only man I will run after is the one who will shout to me: "Ma-a-a-am, catch up with me!"

I forgot the word "love" and forgot the word "separation", I will be like a barbie, a beautiful bitch !!!

She has beautiful eyes, a kind heart, a complex character, with childish whims, and yet it's hard to imagine life without her ... that is. without me…

And here I am - one of a kind! Who is able to admire - admire, the rest can gnaw their elbows with envy and faint!

Probably, I just do not have enough someone's gentle hand, a kind, loving look and power over the whole world ...

I have myself. We can handle it.

I am wrong, stupid, cruel, offend and say nasty things, I am unfair, I cannot understand something, but I prove my opinion, I demand too much attention, I am capricious, I don’t admit my guilt, and of course I’m not an angel, but I love , madly and truly love ... Is this not enough !?

A beautiful bitch - friends say so, a ruthless bitch - guys think, an exemplary girl - parents hope ...

I'm realistic. Romantic. And indecisive. In general - a treasure.

I am a girl and that means I am beautiful!