Matt Haig

SHADY FOREST

This is the place where the path is forbidden to any living being. Here evil has many guises, and creatures from legends and myths live and breathe. And they kill. This place is beyond dreams and nightmares - a place that inspires such fear that until now it has not had a name. But now, in this book, I will explain the inexplicable and give fear the name it deserves. This name is Shadow Forest, and it will instill terror in your hearts.

Professor Horatio Tanglewood

People and other creatures you meet in this book

THE BLINK FAMILY

Samuel Blink. A twelve-year-old boy, slightly less fortunate than most people. He never considered himself a hero. And in vain, because he turned out to be an excellent hero.

Martha Blink... Younger sister of Samuel who thinks she's in a musical. But this is not the case. She sits in the back seat of her parents' car and sings stupid songs right in Samuel's ear. Well, today is her birthday.

Liv Blink... Martha and Samuel's mom. Martha's singing doesn't irritate her at all, unlike her husband's driving style.

Peter Blink... Martha and Samuel's dad. Crazy driver. If he lives to the end of the first chapter, it will be great luck.

NORSE

Aunt Ida. Norwegian sister Liv Blink. Samuel and Martha's aunt. Former Olympic champion in javelin throw. The owner of the lamp of happiness, ten pairs of warm pants, at home near the Shady Forest and a hairy chin. She misses her husband, Uncle Henrik, who disappeared in the forest ten years ago.

Uncle Henrik... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't mention Uncle Henrik to Aunt Ida. She will most likely start crying.

Oscar... A grocer in Flom Village with a soft spot for bow ties and tall women (especially Aunt Ida).

Fredrik... Son of Oscar, loves to play with his calculator. Don't worry about him; you'll only see him in two chapters.

Old Thor... He is old. And… uh… his name is Thor. He paints mountains and fjords. And sometimes he comes across two-headed trolls.

OTHER PEOPLE

Professor Horatio Tanglewood (aka Master of Change). An evil Englishman who lives in a wooden palace in the heart of the Shady Forest, which he rules under the name of the Master of Change. He wrote the book, Creatures of the Shadow Forest, and keeps the pickled heads of his enemies in jars. His favorite music is a children's cry. He is currently working on his autobiography.

Author. Bears a rather boring name Matt Haig, although at his baptism he was named Cerebubulus Osrich Winterbottom III. Twice, he rudely interrupts the narrative just when you are just starting to get a taste. One day he came across Professor Horatio in his private library. The professor asked him to lend him a pen, but he never returned it.

DOG

Ibsen. Aunt Ida's Norwegian Elkhound. Loves brown cheese, sleep and human children. Hates the forest.

SHADOW FOREST CREATURES

WITCHES

Shadow witch. Using the powers of the shadows, he transforms himself and other forest dwellers. Lives with his master, Professor Horatio Tanglewood, in his wooden palace. The witch of shadows exhales clouds of shadows and, leaving the forest, has a habit of transforming into a cat.

Snow witch... Sister of the Witch of Shadows, casts a spell on the weather. He is currently in underground custody. Her strength is exhausted, and certain death awaits her. She had known better times.

HULDRA

Vzhpp... A cruel prison guard to the tips of his nails, who, like all huldr, is afraid of the sun and lives underground. In case you are trying to figure out how to pronounce his name: it is not pronounced in any way. It's impossible.

Grantul... A slightly less brutal prison guard, infinitely loyal to Professor Tanglewood (known to the Huldram as the Master of Change). Dreams of the old days when the huldr were not afraid of the sun.

Trolls

Troll-right and Troll-left... Two heads of the same troll, who hate each other to a shiver in the stomach (which, from a technical point of view, they have one for two).

Troll Dad, Troll Mom, Troll Son and Troll daughter... A friendly family of trolls with one single eye on everyone.

OTHER BEINGS

Tomte... A golden barrel-shaped creature who wears clothes of bright colors and sings joyful songs even when he knows that there is absolutely nothing to be happy about.

True Pixie... A pixie who lives in a log cabin in the eastern part of Shady Forest. He poisons everyone who passes by with poison and considers lying unacceptable. (If he invites you to dinner, have a good excuse ready.)

Flying dumbbells... Deadly creatures that can shatter any skull they can find with their beaks to savor their brains, their favorite delicacy.

Spoon. A giant creature covered in fur and combining the features of a bear and a lion, with a belly more comfortable than any pillow. Spends most of his life sleeping, enjoying dreams about berries. Able to cut off a person's head in one bite.

Rabbit Graytail... The elderly rabbit who convinced all the other rabbits in the pen that Tubula, the rabbit god, would save them all. In reality, they will most likely end up in the troll cauldron.

Kalushi. Even more stupid than rabbits, Kalush are lanky three-headed birds that scamper through the forest, clucking and falling into holes every minute.

ON THE WAY TO A GREAT SURPRISE

The logs lying in the back of the wagon were stacked in a kind of pyramid and secured with three gray straps made of material that Samuel Blink could not recognize. One of the belts was tightened too loosely, which caused the logs to bounce, as if they could not sit still, or they dreamed of running away and returning to the forest.

The truck overtook the car at a desperate speed.

Have you ever seen something like this? said Peter, Samuel's dad. - Some kind of maniac!

Samuel's dad considered all drivers except himself to be maniacs, and truck drivers were the biggest maniacs of all.

Fine, ”he said as the huge wagon began to slow down. “We’ll never get there.”

The log wagon was now driving directly in front of their car, occupying both lanes, so that white road markings shot out from under its body, flashing like laser beams.

There's nowhere to rush, - said Samuel's mother, whose name was Liv. When Daddy got angry, she became more indulgent than ever.

Samuel didn't know where they were going. The only thing he knew was that he did not want to endure his sister's singing for another minute. Or rather, the "wheezing of a strangled cat" is how this sound should be described.

Mom, tell Martha to stop making those terrible sounds.

These are not terrible sounds! It's beautiful singing, ”Mom exclaimed in annoyance.

It was a lie. One of the millions of cases of parental lies that Samuel managed to get used to during the twelve years that he spent on this planet. But he knew that he would not get any support from anyone today. After all, it was Martha's birthday - a fact confirmed by the two large badges on her sweater that read "ME 10" and "1 ° C TODAY."

The chanting got louder. Samuel's head shook like the logs in a truck as he pushed it against the car window, watching the flicker of grass along the road.

Dad, - he said, referring to the second most senior member of their family, - tell Martha.

Dad ignored him. He was too caught up in the grumbling about the truck in front of him.

This is ridiculous! Why the hell overtake if you're going to slow down ?!

Martha shifted under her seat belt and sang loudly into Samuel's ear:

I "m your baby girl, And you could be my world ...

Ugh! Samuel thought he was going to vomit. Even on his best days, he hated his sister's singing, but he especially hated him when he was already tired. And that night he slept only two hours, because he dreamed of his usual nightmare. A nightmare about strange tailed monsters with gray skin and unblinking eyes. He woke up in a cold sweat and could no longer sleep.

Your singing should be given to murderers to listen to as punishment, ”he told Martha.

Shut up, stinker. You are just jealous.

And she started her bagpipes again, humming bits of silly girlish love songs. He knew that she was able to sing from morning to night. She sang from morning to night - every single day. As if her whole life was one long song. It was like she was stuck in one of those wacky musicals that she always watched on TV.

(estimates: 1 , the average: 1,00 out of 5)

Name: Shady Forest

About The Shady Forest by Matt Haig

The book we want to present to you has won numerous literary awards in the UK and has even been nominated for a Carnegie Medal. Such a high honor was awarded to the work "The Shady Forest". Soon Matt Haig wrote its sequel, The Runaway Troll. This author is very popular among British readers. And although this book is positioned as a children's book, many adult fantasy lovers can read it with pleasure.

"The Shady Forest" is a scary tale in which good and evil are fighting. In it, Matt Haig talks about a twelve-year-old boy, Samuel Blink. A tragic accident takes the lives of his parents. Together with his younger sister Martha, he remains completely alone. They are taken to live by the only remaining family member, Aunt Ida. So they move to Norway. Children will have a boring life next to a prim aunt in the company of a dog named Ibsen. Their new home is located at the edge of the forest. There is no entertainment, not even a TV. In addition, Aunt Ida introduced one strictest rule: children are not allowed to enter the forest, not even to come close to it.

But children are children. Contrary to the prohibition, the curious Martha still goes to the forest. Samuel goes to look for his sister. There, under the canopy of trees, the boy realizes that he has fallen into another world. It's very dangerous here. Incredible mysterious creatures live here - trolls, huldras, true pixies, flying head-thumpers, tomtes, witches and people who turn into rabbits. All this amazing forest is terrified by the Master of Change.

It is impossible to tear yourself away from the book "The Shady Forest". It's easy to read, but a little scary. Matt Haig leads the story smoothly, not convoluted and very juicy. One feels that the author tried to really write for children. There are no lengthy abstract discourses, unnecessary descriptions here. The plot is captivating and impressive from the first pages. Events develop rapidly, not allowing you to get bored even for a minute.

The story about Samuel Blink leaves a pleasant impression. There is a lot to think about here. There are many instructive points about what is good and evil, that you need to appreciate what you have and be grateful for it.

The atmosphere is rather gloomy, even scary. There are scary bloody scenes. But children are known to love horror stories. We recommend reading "The Shady Forest" from the age of eight or nine to a ripe old age.

On our site about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read the online book "Shady Forest" by Matt Haig in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and real pleasure from reading. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, find out the biography of your favorite authors. For novice writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and advice, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at literary skill.

Quotes from the book "Shady Forest" by Matt Haig

A world without questions is the safest world.

Evil is not what you are. This is what you do.

There is only one thing that can be worse than the feeling of fear, and that is the absence of any feelings.

Paradise is not a place. Paradise is the people with whom you live your life.

A free soul cannot be hidden in a prison
Wherever I am, happiness is in me.
Let there be no sun, no clouds -
My heart is free from heavy fetters.

If only death and sorrow are ahead
Don't think about tomorrow: let your heart in your chest
It will be filled with music, light and happiness.
Sing while you are alive, and forget about the misfortune.

When you're sad, when it's not right
When your heart is cold and dark
Do not give up, look more fun.
Sing a song, tomte, and it will become brighter.

It's raining, it's raining
What will the rain bring me?
But I'm not sad at all
When I meet with the rain.
He will wet my jacket
It will drip on my skin.
But why should I be dry
If in such a way
The sky is crying sending
Rain from edge to edge.

The present is a house built from the stones of the past.

Matt Haig

SHADY FOREST

This is the place where the path is forbidden to any living being. Here evil has many guises, and creatures from legends and myths live and breathe. And they kill. This place is beyond dreams and nightmares - a place that inspires such fear that until now it has not had a name. But now, in this book, I will explain the inexplicable and give fear the name it deserves. This name is Shadow Forest, and it will instill terror in your hearts.

Professor Horatio Tanglewood

People and other creatures you meet in this book

THE BLINK FAMILY

Samuel Blink. A twelve-year-old boy, slightly less fortunate than most people. He never considered himself a hero. And in vain, because he turned out to be an excellent hero.

Martha Blink... Younger sister of Samuel who thinks she's in a musical. But this is not the case. She sits in the back seat of her parents' car and sings stupid songs right in Samuel's ear. Well, today is her birthday.

Liv Blink... Martha and Samuel's mom. Martha's singing doesn't irritate her at all, unlike her husband's driving style.

Peter Blink... Martha and Samuel's dad. Crazy driver. If he lives to the end of the first chapter, it will be great luck.

NORSE

Aunt Ida. Norwegian sister Liv Blink. Samuel and Martha's aunt. Former Olympic champion in javelin throw. The owner of the lamp of happiness, ten pairs of warm pants, at home near the Shady Forest and a hairy chin. She misses her husband, Uncle Henrik, who disappeared in the forest ten years ago.

Uncle Henrik... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't mention Uncle Henrik to Aunt Ida. She will most likely start crying.

Oscar... A grocer in Flom Village with a soft spot for bow ties and tall women (especially Aunt Ida).

Fredrik... Son of Oscar, loves to play with his calculator. Don't worry about him; you'll only see him in two chapters.

Old Thor... He is old. And… uh… his name is Thor. He paints mountains and fjords. And sometimes he comes across two-headed trolls.

OTHER PEOPLE

Professor Horatio Tanglewood (aka Master of Change). An evil Englishman who lives in a wooden palace in the heart of the Shady Forest, which he rules under the name of the Master of Change. He wrote the book, Creatures of the Shadow Forest, and keeps the pickled heads of his enemies in jars. His favorite music is a children's cry. He is currently working on his autobiography.

Author. Bears a rather boring name Matt Haig, although at his baptism he was named Cerebubulus Osrich Winterbottom III. Twice, he rudely interrupts the narrative just when you are just starting to get a taste. One day he came across Professor Horatio in his private library. The professor asked him to lend him a pen, but he never returned it.

DOG

Ibsen. Aunt Ida's Norwegian Elkhound. Loves brown cheese, sleep and human children. Hates the forest.

SHADOW FOREST CREATURES

WITCHES

Shadow witch. Using the powers of the shadows, he transforms himself and other forest dwellers. Lives with his master, Professor Horatio Tanglewood, in his wooden palace. The witch of shadows exhales clouds of shadows and, leaving the forest, has a habit of transforming into a cat.

Snow witch... Sister of the Witch of Shadows, casts a spell on the weather. He is currently in underground custody. Her strength is exhausted, and certain death awaits her. She had known better times.

HULDRA

Vzhpp... A cruel prison guard to the tips of his nails, who, like all huldr, is afraid of the sun and lives underground. In case you are trying to figure out how to pronounce his name: it is not pronounced in any way. It's impossible.

Grantul... A slightly less brutal prison guard, infinitely loyal to Professor Tanglewood (known to the Huldram as the Master of Change). Dreams of the old days when the huldr were not afraid of the sun.

Trolls

Troll-right and Troll-left... Two heads of the same troll, who hate each other to a shiver in the stomach (which, from a technical point of view, they have one for two).

Troll Dad, Troll Mom, Troll Son and Troll daughter... A friendly family of trolls with one single eye on everyone.

OTHER BEINGS

Tomte... A golden barrel-shaped creature who wears clothes of bright colors and sings joyful songs even when he knows that there is absolutely nothing to be happy about.

True Pixie... A pixie who lives in a log cabin in the eastern part of Shady Forest. He poisons everyone who passes by with poison and considers lying unacceptable. (If he invites you to dinner, have a good excuse ready.)

Flying dumbbells... Deadly creatures that can shatter any skull they can find with their beaks to savor their brains, their favorite delicacy.

Spoon. A giant creature covered in fur and combining the features of a bear and a lion, with a belly more comfortable than any pillow. Spends most of his life sleeping, enjoying dreams about berries. Able to cut off a person's head in one bite.

Rabbit Graytail... The elderly rabbit who convinced all the other rabbits in the pen that Tubula, the rabbit god, would save them all. In reality, they will most likely end up in the troll cauldron.

Kalushi. Even more stupid than rabbits, Kalush are lanky three-headed birds that scamper through the forest, clucking and falling into holes every minute.

ON THE WAY TO A GREAT SURPRISE

The logs lying in the back of the wagon were stacked in a kind of pyramid and secured with three gray straps made of material that Samuel Blink could not recognize. One of the belts was tightened too loosely, which caused the logs to bounce, as if they could not sit still, or they dreamed of running away and returning to the forest.

The truck overtook the car at a desperate speed.

Have you ever seen something like this? said Peter, Samuel's dad. - Some kind of maniac!

Samuel's dad considered all drivers except himself to be maniacs, and truck drivers were the biggest maniacs of all.

Fine, ”he said as the huge wagon began to slow down. “We’ll never get there.”

The log wagon was now driving directly in front of their car, occupying both lanes, so that white road markings shot out from under its body, flashing like laser beams.

Matt Haig

Shady forest

This is the place where the path is forbidden to any living being. Here evil has many guises, and creatures from legends and myths live and breathe. And they kill. This place is beyond dreams and nightmares - a place that inspires such fear that until now it has not had a name. But now, in this book, I will explain the inexplicable and give fear the name it deserves. This name is Shadow Forest, and it will instill terror in your hearts.

Professor Horatio Tanglewood

People and other creatures you meet in this book

PEOPLE

THE BLINK FAMILY

Samuel Blink. A twelve-year-old boy, slightly less fortunate than most people. He never considered himself a hero. And in vain, because he turned out to be an excellent hero.

Martha Blink... Younger sister of Samuel who thinks she's in a musical. But this is not the case. She sits in the back seat of her parents' car and sings stupid songs right in Samuel's ear. Well, today is her birthday.

Liv Blink... Martha and Samuel's mom. Martha's singing doesn't irritate her at all, unlike her husband's driving style.

Peter Blink... Martha and Samuel's dad. Crazy driver. If he lives to the end of the first chapter, it will be great luck.

NORSE

Aunt Ida. Norwegian sister Liv Blink. Samuel and Martha's aunt. Former Olympic champion in javelin throw. The owner of the lamp of happiness, ten pairs of warm pants, at home near the Shady Forest and a hairy chin. She misses her husband, Uncle Henrik, who disappeared in the forest ten years ago.

Uncle Henrik... Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't mention Uncle Henrik to Aunt Ida. She will most likely start crying.

Oscar... A grocer in Flom Village with a soft spot for bow ties and tall women (especially Aunt Ida).

Fredrik... Son of Oscar, loves to play with his calculator. Don't worry about him; you'll only see him in two chapters.

Old Thor... He is old. And… uh… his name is Thor. He paints mountains and fjords. And sometimes he comes across two-headed trolls.

OTHER PEOPLE

Professor Horatio Tanglewood (aka Master of Change). An evil Englishman who lives in a wooden palace in the heart of the Shady Forest, which he rules under the name of the Master of Change. He wrote the book, Creatures of the Shadow Forest, and keeps the pickled heads of his enemies in jars. His favorite music is a children's cry. He is currently working on his autobiography.

Author. Bears a rather boring name Matt Haig, although at his baptism he was named Cerebubulus Osrich Winterbottom III. Twice, he rudely interrupts the narrative just when you are just starting to get a taste. One day he came across Professor Horatio in his private library. The professor asked him to lend him a pen, but he never returned it.

DOG

Ibsen. Aunt Ida's Norwegian Elkhound. Loves brown cheese, sleep and human children. Hates the forest.

SHADOW FOREST CREATURES

WITCHES

Shadow witch. Using the powers of the shadows, he transforms himself and other forest dwellers. Lives with his master, Professor Horatio Tanglewood, in his wooden palace. The witch of shadows exhales clouds of shadows and, leaving the forest, has a habit of transforming into a cat.

Snow witch... Sister of the Witch of Shadows, casts a spell on the weather. He is currently in underground custody. Her strength is exhausted, and certain death awaits her. She had known better times.

HULDRA

Vzhpp... A cruel prison guard to the tips of his nails, who, like all huldr, is afraid of the sun and lives underground. In case you are trying to figure out how to pronounce his name: it is not pronounced in any way. It's impossible.

Grantul... A slightly less brutal prison guard, infinitely loyal to Professor Tanglewood (known to the Huldram as the Master of Change). Dreams of the old days when the huldr were not afraid of the sun.

Trolls

Troll-right and Troll-left... Two heads of the same troll, who hate each other to a shiver in the stomach (which, from a technical point of view, they have one for two).

Troll Dad, Troll Mom, Troll Son and Troll daughter... A friendly family of trolls with one single eye on everyone.

OTHER BEINGS

Tomte... A golden barrel-shaped creature who wears clothes of bright colors and sings joyful songs even when he knows that there is absolutely nothing to be happy about.

True Pixie... A pixie who lives in a log cabin in the eastern part of Shady Forest. He poisons everyone who passes by with poison and considers lying unacceptable. (If he invites you to dinner, have a good excuse ready.)

Flying dumbbells... Deadly creatures that can shatter any skull they can find with their beaks to savor their brains, their favorite delicacy.

Spoon. A giant creature covered in fur and combining the features of a bear and a lion, with a belly more comfortable than any pillow. Spends most of his life sleeping, enjoying dreams about berries. Able to cut off a person's head in one bite.

Rabbit Graytail... The elderly rabbit who convinced all the other rabbits in the pen that Tubula, the rabbit god, would save them all. In reality, they will most likely end up in the troll cauldron.

Kalushi. Even more stupid than rabbits, Kalush are lanky three-headed birds that scamper through the forest, clucking and falling into holes every minute.

ON THE WAY TO A GREAT SURPRISE

The logs lying in the back of the wagon were stacked in a kind of pyramid and secured with three gray straps made of material that Samuel Blink could not recognize. One of the belts was tightened too loosely, which caused the logs to bounce, as if they could not sit still, or they dreamed of running away and returning to the forest.

The truck overtook the car at a desperate speed.

Have you ever seen something like this? said Peter, Samuel's dad. - Some kind of maniac!

Samuel's dad considered all drivers except himself to be maniacs, and truck drivers were the biggest maniacs of all.

Fine, ”he said as the huge wagon began to slow down. “We’ll never get there.”

The log wagon was now driving directly in front of their car, occupying both lanes, so that white road markings shot out from under its body, flashing like laser beams.

There's nowhere to rush, - said Samuel's mother, whose name was Liv. When Daddy got angry, she became more indulgent than ever.

Samuel didn't know where they were going. The only thing he knew was that he did not want to endure his sister's singing for another minute. Or rather, the "wheezing of a strangled cat" is how this sound should be described.

Mom, tell Martha to stop making those terrible sounds.

These are not terrible sounds! It's beautiful singing, ”Mom exclaimed in annoyance.

It was a lie. One of the millions of cases of parental lies that Samuel managed to get used to during the twelve years that he spent on this planet. But he knew that he would not get any support from anyone today. After all, it was Martha's birthday - a fact confirmed by the two large badges on her sweater that read "ME 10" and "1 ° C TODAY."

The chanting got louder. Samuel's head shook like the logs in a truck as he pushed it against the car window, watching the flicker of grass along the road.

Dad, - he said, referring to the second most senior member of their family, - tell Martha.

Dad ignored him. He was too caught up in the grumbling about the truck in front of him.

This is ridiculous! Why the hell overtake if you're going to slow down ?!

Martha shifted under her seat belt and sang loudly into Samuel's ear:

I "m your baby girl, And you could be my world ...

Ugh! Samuel thought he was going to vomit. Even on his best days, he hated his sister's singing, but he especially hated him when he was already tired. And that night he slept only two hours, because he dreamed of his usual nightmare. A nightmare about strange tailed monsters with gray skin and unblinking eyes. He woke up in a cold sweat and could no longer sleep.

Your singing should be given to murderers to listen to as punishment, ”he told Martha.

Shut up, stinker. You are just jealous.

And she started her bagpipes again, humming bits of silly girlish love songs. He knew that she was able to sing from morning to night. She sang from morning to night - every single day. As if her whole life was one long song. It was like she was stuck in one of those wacky musicals that she always watched on TV.

Samuel turned back to the window and prayed that Martha would shut up.

Became as quiet as a log.

Even when she just spoke, she turned her phrase into a song, raising and lowering her voice so that each word sounded a separate note.

Therefore, instead of asking: "Where are we going?", She sang, now raising, now lowering her voice:

- Mom and Dad, where are we going?

To which their mother replied:

You don't want to ruin the big surprise, do you?

Yes-ah, ”sang Martha.

Well, soon you will see everything yourself, - my mother answered.

You won't see if we stay behind this thing, ”her dad objected, referring to the wagon with the logs.

Samuel wondered what the big surprise his parents had in store. He hoped it would be an amusement park like his last birthday. The loop on the roller coaster would probably have made Martha shut up, if only for a little while. That time he went with his dad to an attraction called "Catapult", which developed such a speed that it was impossible even to turn his head. Samuel enjoyed every second of this frantic race, and Dad pretended to feel the same way until he had to rush to the bathroom to get rid of his lunch (Parental Lie 910 682).

However, now Samuel began to suspect that the big surprise would be much more boring than the amusement park. He wondered about the stupid things Martha loved to do.

...

Horse riding…

Doing hairstyles ...

Spending pocket money on stupid music ...

Listen to stupid music ...

Sing stupid songs ...

So, keeping Martha's interests in mind, Samuel narrowed down his options, leaving the following: shaking on a horse all day, watching his sister get her hair cut in a posh barbershop, or, in the worst case, going to a musical. Perhaps even a musical about a hairdresser who participates in races and dedicates songs to his horse.

Samuel smiled at this exclusive version of hell in his head.

Beeep!

Dreams of people singing songs to horses were interrupted by the Pope, who sharply honked the wagon ahead of them.

This is ridiculous, ”he muttered, turning on the turn signal.

Peter, what are you doing? Mom asked.

I turn. If we go after the truck, we will be on this road all day. And have you seen how these logs are secured? That and lo and behold, there will be an accident.

But we do not know these roads.

We have a map. In the glove compartment.

Samuel and Martha knew what the card meant. It meant that Mom and Dad would get into a serious fight for at least an hour, arguing about where they should turn left.

Oh, "hey," Mom said. "We need the six-four-two track. Children, look for the six-four-two track."

At six four two, ”sang Martha.

At six four two.

They drove through the roundabout three times before Samuel noticed a designation for B-642, imprinted in inconspicuous script on a small green road sign.

There she is, ”he said.

The car turned off the roundabout, and less than five minutes later, the map caused the usual quarrel about turning left. Samuel continued to look out the window, the birthday girl continued to sing, and the quarrel between their mom and dad, meanwhile, took root and began to grow.

Too late. We should have just turned left.

You could tell me. You have the map.

I said.

Oh well. You could have told me before we drove this damn bend.

This stupid old map. It's too hard to figure it out.

Samuel wondered what his mom had just said. I wonder how a card can be dumb? Then he thought of a tree that had been turned into paper to print this map. Perhaps the tree made the map so incomprehensible in retaliation.

Be that as it may, they missed the left turn and are now stuck on the B-642 highway.

Awesome! Samuel's dad exclaimed. - Back to where we came from!

It was your idea to roll up.

Yes, but it would be okay if you could handle the damn card!

Oh no, Samuel's mom said.

What's the matter? - Dad threw in annoyance.

This road does not intersect with the motorway ... It goes under it.

And, in support of her words, around the next bend, a view opened up of a huge concrete bridge directly above the B-642 highway.

Samuel watched the log-wagon on the far left climb up the bridge. But he couldn’t notice — he would need telescopic vision to do that — that the loose gray strap that held the logs was now completely detached. The two remaining belts were also much weaker than they should have been, and the logs bounced more and more desperately in the back.

By the time the second strap came loose, it was obvious that a third would inevitably follow. This happened, which, in turn, led to another inevitable event - the logs began to fall out of the body.

As the car pulled up to the bridge, Samuel did not take his eyes off the truck. He calculated that if they kept going at the same speed, the car would be under the bridge just when the truck was on it.

Therefore, when he saw the first log that fell from the truck, he already knew about the potential danger.

Dad! Stop the car!

Samuel, what the hell is it?

Stop the car! Logs! Falling from the truck! Stop the car!

Samuel, what are you talking about? - Samuel's dad had absolutely no intention of stopping the car.

The first log broke through a road fence a hundred meters from the bridge and rolled down the slope towards the field from the side of the B-642 highway.

Stop the car! Stop the car!

Samuel? - His mother always spoke his name with a questioning intonation when she started to get angry.

Stop! Stop! Just stop!

But the car continued to drive forward, the logs continued to fall, and his sister continued to sing:

Happy Birthday to me…

Stop!

Samuel?

We can't just stop like that.

Happy Birthday to me…

Can't you see?

Look, these logs, they are rolling down!

Happy birthday to Martu ...

Logs? What kind of logs?

Honestly, Samuel. It seems to me that you are overexcited ...

Happy Birthday…

Then everything happened. Exactly when Samuel's dad finally decided to slow down. It was at this moment that the last ten logs remaining in the back of the truck fell down and broke through the fence.

However, this time one of the logs did not roll down the hill in the field. It fell from the bridge and collapsed on the only car that was driving along this section of the B-642 highway.

The log has landed on the front of the roof. A heavy Scotch pine that traveled three hundred miles south on its way to the Lincolnshire paper mill.

In less than a second — the time it took for a log to break through the thin metal of the roof — Samuel and Martha lost both their parents. They themselves, like the entire rear of the car, remained safe and sound.

Samuel held his sister's hand as they sat numb in the back seat. They were too shocked to move. Or to speak. Or to make at least a sound. In one second, their eyes saw more nightmares than in all the time that they both lived in the world.

They never knew where their parents were going to take them for Martha's birthday. They knew one thing: no matter what happened next, their life would never be the same.

The death of parents killed by a huge log was not the first death that Samuel and Martha Blink faced.

In fact, most of their immediate family members were carried away by death during their short childhood lives, although they themselves were not present at any of these deaths.

They were not there, for example, when grandfather was carrying a box with decorative gnomes to his garden behind the house and he had a heart attack. Or when, two months later, Grandma tripped over one of these gnomes and fell, hitting her head on the greenhouse roof.

There were none when Uncle Derek died of an electric shock while trying to free a tiny piece of toast from the toaster with a fork. Or when Aunt Sheila fell and bumped her head against a doorstop, winning five points in the lottery.

They were not there even when their Norwegian uncle Henrik ... However, the case with uncle Henrik remained very mysterious.

Unlike all other deaths, Samuel and Martha were never told about how Uncle Henrik died. To be honest, they also knew almost nothing about how he lived.

So Uncle Henrik was from Norway. Samuel and Martha's mother, Liv, was from the same country as Liv. From a country where they have never been. Their mother had a twin sister named Ida. Liv and Ida grew up in a town called Fredrikstad near the Norwegian capital, Oslo. When they were twenty, their long-widowed mother died. The following year, Liv moved to England to study at the university, and there she met her future husband Peter. In Norway that same year, Ida fell in love with a ski jumper named Henrik.

Samuel and Martha knew very little about Aunt Ida and Uncle Henrik. But one thing they knew for sure: Aunt Ida was a very good javelin thrower, the best in all of Norway, and participated in the Olympic Games in Moscow. To Samuel, this always struck him as an astounding fact - that his blood relative had competed in the Olympics - and it inspired him to push hard on the days of sports. But after nearly planting his trainer on a spear, he realized that he might not follow in his aunt's footsteps.

Whenever Samuel and Martha asked about Aunt Ida, they always received the same answer from their mother: "She is a kind and wonderful woman."

So why have they never seen this very kind and wonderful woman?

Good question. And Samuel and Martha asked it many times - about a hundred times each - but they never received a satisfactory answer.

Here are three of the unsatisfactory answers they received:

1) “Your aunt Ida is afraid of ships and planes, so she never leaves Norway. And no more questions, my head hurts. "

2) “We cannot afford to travel to Norway because it is a very expensive country and we do not print money. And no more questions, my head hurts. "

3) “It's very cold in Norway. I'm sure you would prefer to go to some warm country with good beaches. And no more questions, my head really hurts. "