The morning made its way into the bedroom with sunbeams. Oleg opened his eyes and felt the warmth of his beloved woman nearby. She slept beautifully on her side with her legs wrapped around the blanket. He admired her body, catching himself thinking that yesterday he didn’t even see her, or rather, didn’t look at her, but today, so easily, the best morning of his life has come and nothing can be sweeter to his eyes than a ray of sun rummaging around the curves of your beloved's body.

Oleg went to the kitchen and prepared fresh orange juice. I put the coffee on. I laid out French donuts on a plate and sprinkled them with cinnamon, just the way she likes them.

She probably came to the smell of coffee five minutes later. Throwing on his shirt (she had chosen a silk one from the closet), she stood at the door for a while, admiring him, then sat down on a high chair. Her hair was slightly disheveled, her makeup had not been washed off from yesterday, and her happy smile made her look ten years younger... or younger.

They had breakfast together, telling each other about the latest events, and Oleg caught himself thinking that he was terribly imagining what would have happened if he had not decided to call her.

Kesha and her mother decided to stay with their grandmother while his room was being renovated, since Oleg decided not to stop only at Kesha’s room. Kesha called Oleg every day, talking about his requests and fantasies about his room. He was unusually animated by what was happening. When everything was ready, Oleg arrived at the “opening” with a cloud of balloons. With him, for the sake of solidity and to create the appearance of a “selection committee of the competition”, he took two friends who also wanted to invest their money in the creation of the “Center for Creative Development”, and a professional clown-magician-juggler-cook-musician nicknamed Scamp-Chatterer, which was supposed to entertain Kesha and his friends during the “opening”, and then give the children a festive feast. In order not to frighten the children with officialdom, he put on a funny cap for his friends, and he also put on a clown nose for himself... and so they drove in the car, getting into the role. At first, the friends, who were kicking back from “this stupid idea,” gradually went into a rage and lost a couple of decades along the way.

The whole procession gathered downstairs at the entrance and, to the sound of a clown's trumpet, headed up the stairs, frightening the stunned neighbors.

Oleg was pleasantly surprised by the contrast. What the builders did surprised even him, even though he had seen the project.

Kesha's room had warm orange walls with a painted jungle, a light green window sill and a suspended ceiling in the form of a blue sky and parrots flying across it. And a small artificial waterfall, ropes, rings and a mat, a bunk bed with a sleeping place on top and a work place below, a chess set made of dark and light colored minerals (a gift from Oleg), forced poor Kesha to run around the room and grab at one thing or another . All this, and a few more large green plants, turned the former hospital ward into a small branch of the jungle in which you wanted to LIVE.

Polina Sergeevna cried with joy, the guests nodded approvingly, the children rushed around the rooms, running away from the clown and squealing like piglets.

Kesha smiled and laughed. He was absolutely healthy and happy at those moments. Oleg could not have imagined a better result.

Kesha’s mother told Oleg that Kesha was invited with her to Germany for a chess competition thanks to the efforts of Vladimir, the director of the restaurant where they had such a wonderful lunch. This transformed Kesha. The doctors said that the tests had become better and his condition was also improving.

- Let me hug you! Oleg! Thank you very much! – Polina Sergeevna exclaimed and hugged Oleg. Her eyes, previously tired and tormented, looked with joy and hope. Oleg hugged her too. Kesha, who was running past, jumped on Oleg, laughing and making faces. Now he looked much more like a child.

Before leaving, he warmly thanked Oleg as best he could and smiled, admitting that this was the best day of his life.

Two months later, the “Center for Creative Development” opened its doors to everyone who especially needed it. New smiles and improvements in the condition of children with various ailments spoke for themselves.

Oksana coped with her duties as a director so well that Oleg was a little alarmed when he learned that she was brewing an affair with one of the businessmen who came to all classes. He was afraid that she might quit such a hectic job, but he found out that her admirer not only did not interfere, but even actively helped her with advice and actions in her affairs. "Are you crazy! – she reassured Oleg. “Yes, I have never in my life had such an interesting and pleasant job, and with such good pay!”

Having put all his affairs in order, Oleg went on a trip with Katya. Not because he really wanted to rest, he already became much less tired, but because he wanted to see the Ocean again.

On their ring fingers were white gold rings that they had made for each other in a jewelry workshop.

The warm sea hugged the legs of Oleg, lying in a sun lounger and enjoying the rays of the warm sun. The sun, which gave everyone its love for free and gave the opportunity to life itself.

Peace and tranquility.

Katerina was lying on a chaise lounge next to him. Her eyes were closed. The light green swimsuit contrasted beautifully with her already tanned body and emphasized the turquoise color of the water. Nobody disturbed their peace. Oleg silently thanked this world for giving him another chance, which changed his life so much.

He gently stroked Katya's stomach; now he was not only an expert on life, but also partly its culprit. A few hours for sure... He was sure of it.

Now he knew that the Ocean would not disappear anywhere, that it would forever delight him and everyone with its warmth and gentle water. It was another best day of his life.

Mikhail was sitting with his family on the terrace of his hotel, where he arrived once again.

- Mr. Manager! – the hotel administrator turned to him. – You have a parcel from Russia.

- So bring her here!

A minute later, Mikhail’s children with interest tore the packaging off the large box and began to pull out a tea set carefully wrapped in paper, made of clay and decorated with glazes of different colors. The teapot, cups and saucers were made by different hands, perhaps even by children. They counted twelve items. At the bottom of each saucer and teapot there was a round stamp of the “Center for Creative Development”, as well as the name of the “master”. The box contained a postcard based on a child's painting. The picture showed a cheerful room with a window looking into the blue sky, framed by orange wallpaper and a bright green window sill.

On the reverse side, Mikhail read the inscription: “I thought for a long time how to thank you. I sent you the most expensive one! Oleg".

Afterword

I know that you, my reader, don’t want to say goodbye to the main character just as much as I don’t want to say goodbye to you. But there will be new books and new heroes, but I know that the main character has not gone away... He is sitting now and reading these lines. It's you! Your life deserves to become a plot for a novel, and if it hasn’t already, everything is in your hands!

If you have read the book to the end, then you may think that all the events described in the book happened word for word to the author.

Yes and no. Choose for yourself how you feel about this: as fiction or truth. This will not change anything in my life, but it may change in yours. I am sincerely confident that life is even more amazing and incredible than in our wildest dreams.

I ask you not to look for direct analogies in the events occurring with the main character with events in my life, because I had enough creative imagination to change the facts and preserve their emotional coloring. At the same time, I can claim that there is not a single invented emotion in the novel; all of them were experienced by me and formed the basis of personal experience and this book.

For those who want to know where they can find the places described in the novel, I recommend that you first go to the art salon “Tioindigo” on the 7th line of Vasilyevsky Island or visit the website www.khara.ru. There you will also find information about the social project described in the book and how you can take part in it.

The one who walks will master the road!

Sometimes we ourselves distance ourselves from pleasant things, due to some prejudices, prejudices, and wariness. That's what happened to me with this book. For a long time I did not dare to read it. It was shrouded in some kind of aura of mystery, no one could clearly tell what it was about exactly, but everyone insisted that it was a very worthwhile thing and I should definitely read it. And it’s not so easy to find it; I’ve never seen it in printed form anywhere. Just some kind of secret book, passed on to a select few. The abstract to the book looked like text from a brochure of some sect or some seminar (training) on ​​self-development. The brain has already built a chain of things that are similar to me: sects - seminars - NLP - trainings - self-development - business trainers - brain clearing. I hate it all. But in the end, the enthusiastic reviews of those who read them encouraged me to read this book. And I didn't regret it.

It was very easy and interesting to read, the literary language, of course, is not like Jack London’s, but it’s quite possible to read and even enjoy it. This book was written specifically for readers, so that they think about their lives, about how they live and how they want to live. The author talks about this in the preface. It’s probably impossible to talk about the plot without spoilers; this book is a must-read. I don't want to ruin your reading pleasure. I’ll just say that this book is about a young guy named Oleg, who seems to be doing well in life, but this is only at first glance, there is always room to change his life for the better.

In the preface, the author wrote that if I read this book, my life will change forever and if I am afraid of this, then it is better for me not to read it. And I was seriously worried, I thought what could be written there that was so secret, secret and exclusive, but once I made up my mind, I made up my mind. And started reading...
I can’t say that this book changed my whole life and my idea of ​​how to live, but a lot of things were revealed to me in a new way, I just never thought about them, I did like everyone else and spoke like everyone else, and as is customary in society. Perhaps I can even call this book motivating. Yes, there is a lot of ground for soul-searching and self-development. And people pay money for trainings and seminars on such things. Read special motivational, stimulating and other psychological literature. I have no craving or interest in such things, I would not go to the training or buy a book on psychology. But reading a fiction book with all these elements is easy!
This is a smart book. Is it true. Sometimes I just had a “WOW effect!” I thought: how cool and simple it is to describe those things that I haven’t thought about and that affect my life.

Friends, in conclusion I want to tell you:
If this is your first time hearing about this book, and this is most likely the case, then pay your attention to it. If you are having difficulties in your life or just want to read some good book, then take a closer look at it. This is a really good, kind, positive book. Which, most likely, will, at least a little, affect you for the better.

(A book that will help you become a better person)

There often comes a time in life when you think: “What do I need to be happy? What do I want? You are looking for an answer to your questions and you seem to find it. But nothing helps. And then someone turns to good friends or attentive specialists, someone relies on the experience of those who are wiser and older. But for many, nothing has such a healing effect as a book, which will not only give the answer, but also help change their thoughts, deeds and actions. Change your life.

Can a book change our lives?

Obviously yes. Judging by numerous reviews, this is the book “The Last Step”. A stimulating book that makes you think and allows your soul to work. Reading it, you realize that there is only one life, there are no drafts in it, and therefore you need to live with dignity. Live here and now. Often in the bustle of everyday life we ​​don’t notice? how beautiful and wonderful everything that surrounds us is.

In pursuit of fame and career, we miss the most important things and do not notice friends and family. We become unhappy ourselves and make those around us unhappy. Is there a way out? How to achieve success in all areas of life? Change your inner mood? The book “ПШ” (“The Last Step”) will give answers to these questions. The author of the book helps, step by step, to reconsider your outlook on life, change it and make it better.

Who is he, the author of the book?

Dmitry Khara is a writer, psychologist, businessman and consultant. Born in Leningrad on April 11, 1976. As the author himself says, the family was not rich, his father was an artist, his mother an economist. According to Dmitry, left without parents, he lived intuitively most of his life. I was on the verge of disappointment in myself, in my own abilities. But, gathering his will into a fist, he decisively changed his life.

Dmitry received two higher educations - legal and economic. His career is quite interesting and eventful: an investigator and cabinetmaker restorer, head of bank security and director of a government agency, co-owner of a nightclub and freelance correspondent.

Book "The Last Step"

In his book, the author invites readers along with the hero of the book on a journey. The book advises, teaches, shows with examples and helps to reevaluate your life, set priorities and change something in life. A book about self-development, written in an artistic style, together with the hero, allows the reader to follow instructions and advice.

As Dmitry Khara says, “PSh” is a book, after reading which life will change forever. It forces you to act, change yourself, fight fears and failures, and try the unknown. What is noteworthy about the book is that the chapter titles consist of two words beginning with the letters P and Sh. Many of the author’s projects begin this way.

Trainings and seminars

Dmitry Khara is a consultant on the psychology of success, the author of many projects. Conducts trainings and seminars that allow you to discover personal strengths, develop them as much as possible and move forward more successfully. Trainings help you take a fresh look at yourself, at the events and situations that make up life, change your thinking and qualitatively improve your life.

At his trainings, Dmitry invites participants to the Journey, which begins with the First Step and offers three programs:

• basic “First Step”;
• transformational “Advanced Step”;
• leader "Flight of the Bumblebee".

Game "My Way"

Dmitry developed the game “My Path”, during which the participant in the game can see how his subconscious actually works. Does he really want what he talks and dreams about? The “My Path” master class is a kind of dialogue with the subconscious, during which the participant gains knowledge of how to set tasks and the principles of setting goals. The game helps answer the questions: “Why am I disappointed in my dreams and they don’t inspire me?”

Performance "Journey"

One of the readers recommended the book to the production center, and Dmitry was offered to stage a play. According to him, he could not imagine how a novel with an internal monologue and the hero’s experiences could be placed on the theater stage. But the director coped with this task brilliantly. The performance is performed in the format of an art space, which allows you to accurately convey what the book “PSh” tells about. Dmitry Khara believes that it is in this format that the performance is interesting and intelligible.

The spectacle turned out to be impressive. Oleg, the main character, a successful director of a company, saw an advertisement for the “Last Step” travel agency. After a conversation with the agent, he decides to go on the Journey. The only thing they tell him about the tour is that it can change a person’s life. During the journey, the hero meets people who teach him to truly live. And as a result, Oleg learns a lot of new things about himself and his life.

The actors perfectly conveyed the meaning of the novel. The viewer sees a person dissatisfied with life, nervous and confused. Very vividly and authentically, the cast presented the transformation of the hero into a strong and integral personality, who realized the problems and mistakes and dealt with them successfully.

As Dmitry Khara speaks of the play, “The Last Step” is a book full of the hero’s feelings and experiences, so he was ready for a radical change in some aspects. But, surprisingly, with the exception of a few little things, the production conveys the plot of the work amazingly accurately.

What is the success of the book “The Last Step”?

Readers write in their reviews that they have read a lot of books on self-development. But “PSh” simply changed my mind. Many reread the book several times, writing down quotes and thoughts that came to them while reading in their diaries. This is not another book on psychology; it doesn’t force you to repeat to yourself endlessly that life is wonderful and you won’t have to do anything.

The book makes you not only reconsider your views on life. She forces you to act. It contains everything necessary for those who strive to be better. Life lessons and examples, awareness of the main idea of ​​\u200b\u200blife - all this was revealed in his book by Dmitry Khara. Reviews from readers say that the book grabs you and doesn't let go. After reading, I really want to get into the Journey that the hero of “PSh” went on.

"Charograd"

In 2005, the Charograd Center for Creative Development was created, headed by Dmitry Khara. The purpose of creating the center is the social rehabilitation of children and adolescents from difficult families, involving them in creative processes. The center helps its students overcome communication barriers and teaches them to think positively and creatively.

Charograd organizes charity exhibitions, festivals and auctions. The center conducts educational campaigns to learn about the cultures of different peoples, trainings and seminars. Artists, masters of pottery and blacksmithing conduct master classes. Proceeds from the sale of paintings are sent to orphanages and children with disabilities.

As Dmitry Khara says, it is in his interests to help people realize themselves and see the path to happiness. Isn’t it a joy for the center’s young students to pick up a brush and paint an oil painting for the first time, sculpt a jug on their own, or paint a silk scarf with their own hands?

Dmitry Khara

Life at MAXIMUM

Here is a book that will change your world. Your life will never be the same again after reading it. And there will be no turning back. There is a path ahead, the ultimate goal of which depends on your decision, but having accepted it, you will have to take responsibility for everything that happens only on yourself. Are you ready for this?

Then open the first in a series of transformational books - books that change consciousness, life and the world.

Dmitry Khara

P. Sh. #New Life. There will be no turning back!

Series “Life at MAXIMUM”

The editors are not responsible for the accuracy of the information provided in the book. The author's opinion does not always coincide with the editorial position.

© Khara D., 2017

© Krot M., illustrations, 2017

© AST Publishing House LLC, 2017

With "P. Sh." no one is alone, no one is a stranger, and everyone is a value in himself.

Ekaterina Shpitsa (theater and film actress)

This book affects people like a reset button.

Anatoly Timoshchuk (footballer)

This book is that “terribly fascinating” First Step to yourself, a guide to life.

Natalya Vysochanskaya (theater and film actress)

This book is very dangerous... after reading it, you will lose peace forever. And P.Sh. also has a mystical feature - it falls into the hands only of those who are looking for a way out.

Oleg Belenov, (General Director of United Russian Film Studios)

Live, create, love? Survive, vegetate, waste time? There is always the freedom to choose YOUR OWN PATH!

The book provides a unique opportunity to witness this path and master the basic truths of creative transformation, happiness, love and harmony.

Evgeny Fischer (father of three children, businessman, racing driver)

This book will open doors you never thought to knock on.

Anna Selivanova (casting director)

Your friend, Dmitry Khara

Address to the reader

There are books to kill time, and there are books to gain knowledge. There are simply well-written books, reading which you will savor every word. There are those who will pass through your life, like a train passing by a stop, leaving nothing behind. There are books that, after reading, will make you want to lie down under this train. Their authors don't care about you or your life.

I want to warn you that

P. Sh.” - a book that changes your world. Your life will never be the same after reading it. Think about it: is it worth turning the page that will change your world? Maybe it's better to leave everything as is? There will simply be no turning back. There is a path ahead, the ultimate goal of which will depend on your decision, but having accepted it, you will have to take responsibility for everything that happens only on yourself. Are you ready for this? With this book I open a series of transformational books - books that change consciousness, life and the world. There is no point in writing others.

Your friend,

Dmitry Khara

Preface to the fourth edition

And I am incredibly grateful to the readers whose letters come to me from all over the world, and especially to those who write about how their lives have changed after reading the novel. This is the best result for me! The best recognition and the best gratitude!

I thank for the help and support of my partners, my friends - regional representatives, thanks to whom the book continues to open the doors of more and more new homes. If you are holding this copy of the book in your hands, then most likely it came into your hands from the hands of a person who cares about your life.

On the eve of the publication of this publication, I decided to once again remember all those to whom this book owes its life, as well as those thanks to whom the life of my brainchild continues. These are my loved ones, especially Valentina, the woman who is now next to me, who supported the creative component of my personality and helped me strengthen in my purpose - to write and help people become happier, freer and more conscious. Her love, wisdom and feminine energy give new strength to all my projects. I thank Evgeniy Fischer, my friend, entrepreneur and seeker, who, not for the first time, provided financial support to the publication.

I would like to remember and thank those thanks to whom the first edition was published: A. Gagarin, D. Ryabinin and E. Bychkov. I thank O. Arutyunov for his “Strokes of the Essence.” Special thanks for help in self-knowledge to M. Rozanov, G. Mikhailovskikh, E. Frolova, S. Barinov. Thanks to the Masters, who with a pure soul revealed the mysteries of their crafts and arts and served as prototypes for a number of characters in the book: M. Metelev, Sergei and Liliya Melnikov, T. Rodygina, Philip and Maria Kazak, A. Kuzmina, S. Bogdanova, I. Vasil and E. Kachaeva.

Thanks to all my friends and acquaintances who walked with me along the difficult but interesting path of life changes. Each of you has placed your precious stone in the treasury of my life. If you recognize your image on the pages, be sure that it is in my soul. Your names would take up several more pages!

I am pleased to tell you that the application “P. Sh." for Android and iPhone/iPad, which contains the latest version of the book, as well as my notes, news and something else useful for self-development.

And in conclusion I would like to tell

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let you know that this year I am starting to lead “Journeys of Power” - for those who want to combine knowledge of the external and internal worlds.

Thank you to Life, which gives us all endless opportunities!

See you again on joint travels!

Your friend,

Dmitry Khara

Last step

“No damn name for a travel agency!” – Oleg thought, having difficulty reading the stylized letters on a bronze tablet located to the right of the oak door of one of the buildings on Kamennoostrovsky Prospekt. He even smiled slightly. “Apparently, the director has a good sense of humor, but he’s a risky guy, if he’s a guy, of course. Maybe I should come in and see what “last step” they’ll offer me?”

Oleg has been traveling through the same travel agency for seven years now. It’s not that it was the best company or that it offered the lowest prices and the most original tours in the city, it’s just that he was already used to it. In recent years, tours for him have been personally selected by director Alina. He was flattered by this. He was always seated in a deep armchair, poured his favorite tea, given a stack of brochures with glossy photographs from another world and immersed in a state close to a trance, where bright pictures flashed before his eyes, commented on by Alina’s soothing voice.

He had long ago admitted to himself that this part of the entire vacation was his favorite. He specially set aside two hours of time for her, turned off his mobile phone and savored every minute. Only at these moments was born in him a childish expectation of a miracle - a magical land in which it would not just be good, but good, good.

He already knew that these expectations would never be met, because in just two days, in any country in the world, he would definitely be pulled out of the fairy tale by a mobile phone ringing, and Valera, his assistant, in an excited voice would begin to say something like: “Hello! How do you rest? Sorry, old man, I didn’t want to bother you, but there is one small but very important issue that only you can solve...” And then, as usual, there was a text that was supposed to convince him that only he could really solve this issue , Oleg. Oleg was deliberately angry, calling Valera and everyone else stupid, but he began to solve the problem. Probably, if there were no such calls, Oleg would have been even more nervous. After all, he understood that he was the most important and without him there would be nowhere.

And after a couple of days of rest, some compatriots arrived, some business connections arose, and the remaining days turned into demonstrations in front of each other. That is why he savored every minute of this illusion of a future carefree holiday with such pleasure. And here you have it: “The last step.”

Oleg’s stream of thoughts was interrupted by a brand new latest model Infiniti jeep pulling into a small parking lot near the entrance. The door opened and a man of about forty or forty-five came out with a huge bouquet of flowers. The man walked to the door and pressed the bell button. The door was opened by a middle-aged woman dressed in a gray business dress.

- Helen, hello! It is for you! Here's to the best trip of my life! “The man disappeared behind the door, and Oleg stopped. Something grabbed him. No, not words. He himself spoke such words to Alina more than once in order to see how she broke into a smile. Tone. Intonation. She was genuine. It was the voice of a truly happy and contented man. Oleg’s attention was drawn to the car number – three sevens and the letters “URA”. Quite a positive game of numbers and letters.

“Come in, or what? What do I have to lose? Since you’re out for a walk, you can take five minutes to find out what the “Last Step” is.”

It would seem so simple: go to the door, turn the handle... But something made Oleg indecisive... He opened many doors in his life, including those behind which he was not expected, and those behind which anyone could be waiting for him. surprises, and those for which the struggle began from the threshold. He wasn't afraid of fighting. Perhaps he has already won a lot in his life, won back a lot, and lost a lot. But that was a different story. A story that has never happened before in his life. Or maybe it's just his fantasy? There is only one way to check - log in.

The door opened, the bell rang, and he found himself inside a small office. Quite a strict environment. Contrary to expectations, there are no colorful posters with the names of coconut and chocolate islands, world maps and trinkets from around the world. Maybe this is not a travel agency at all? Oleg's silent question apparently reflected on his face. The second silence was interrupted by the voice of the woman he saw on the threshold:

- Hello! Are you coming to us? “She was sitting in a chair near the coffee table, and a man was sitting on the sofa to the right. The man waited with curiosity for an answer from Oleg. With much more than the situation required.

- Don't know. Where did I end up? – Oleg asked, realizing that his question sounded more than ridiculous.

-Where were you aiming? – the woman asked with a smile.

“I saw an interesting sign on your door and decided to find out what kind of travel agency it is, and what kind of vacation you can offer me with that name,” Oleg said more confidently.

In order to orient himself in the situation, he needed, as usual, only a few seconds. “I am a potential client, which means they should somehow interest me, try to please me, guess my thoughts. So, in any case, I am the master of the situation.”

Behind the magazine-tea-client area, Oleg examined two work tables, computers, shelves along the wall, a door leading somewhere, several flowers in pots. In general, nothing that attracts attention.

– What was it about the sign that captivated you so much?

- Name.

– And what’s unusual about it?

– “The last step” is more suitable for a funeral home.

– So why did you go to a travel agency with that name? Are you suicidal?

Oleg was ready to flare up and answer in a boorish manner, but he did not do this only because there was neither mockery nor ridicule in Elena’s eyes. In her calm voice one could even hear notes of attention and sincere interest in his fate.

– No, I was just interested in the paradoxical nature of the name.

- This already does you credit. Thousands of people pass by this sign without noticing it. We've been here for several years now, and you know, you're probably the first to come in just to inquire. – The woman fell silent, exchanged glances with the man who entered first, and continued to carefully examine Oleg.

Everything was going somehow unusual. He was not offered to undress, sit down, or pour a cup of something hot. They didn’t rush to hold him back - the only client who walked into a company with a stupid name in the middle of a dank February day. After such impudence, I had to turn around and leave silently. I had to, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to find out what kind of office this is, where they treat clients so Neanderthally, but then for some reason they come with flowers. Or is it not the client?

-Would you offer me a seat? – Oleg asked with a slight challenge.

- Yes, of course, for God's sake, if you want to warm up. Don't throw you out onto the street! We can even treat you to a cup of hot chocolate! – the hostess offered cordially.

If this phrase had been said in any other tone, he would probably have turned around and left. “Well, okay, I’ll try to find out, maybe they really offer such unique tours that from clients

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They have no end even without me.”

Oleg hung his coat and cap on the hanger near the door, went to the table and sat down on the sofa.

“Oleg,” he introduced himself.

“Elena,” the woman nodded her head.

- Mikhail Evgenievich. – The guest extended his hand to him. Mikhail Evgenievich’s expensive suit, good shirt, and correct tie looked very organic, but even if he were in cheap jeans and a sweater, it would be impossible not to see on his face a simple and accessible signal to everyone: “I am successful in everything!”

“What the hell are recommendations?!” Maybe I should be shown recommendations when entering a hypermarket?! Excuse me, can I buy new harvest potatoes from you? – Who can recommend you? Rave!!!" – Oleg thought, but since he participated in more than one hundred negotiations, now he was simply trying to find the right words to show these would-be businessmen what personal selling is! The flow of his thoughts did not have time to end with the prepared phrase, but, perhaps, it flashed so clearly on his face that Elena hastened to continue herself:

– You see, we offer special tours and we cannot sell them to everyone.

Mikhail Evgenievich smiled broadly, and, apparently, some such interesting pictures flashed before his eyes that he barely noticeably, but very clearly nodded his head.

– If you doubt my solvency, then in vain. “I am able to purchase any tour of your company, you can be sure of this,” Oleg said as calmly as possible, hiding his boots, which were quite badly soiled on the streets of St. Petersburg.

“I’ll say a banality, but it’s not about money, although our tours are not cheap,” Elena answered absolutely calmly and confidently. “I can tell you that such a tour can only happen once in a lifetime and you need to prepare very well for it,” the “holiday hostess” continued, absolutely seriously.

- Pure truth. This tour changed my life, or rather, it brought it back, or even more precisely, it started it,” said Mikhail Evgenievich, smiling broadly. “By the way, Lena, I won’t take interest from you for advertising, since I think that I still owe you,” Mikhail Evgenievich continued, standing up and straightening his jacket. - Well, okay, I'm off, I still need to be in time for the opening of the exhibition at Tioindigo. Goodbye! Have a good day!

The door had already slammed a minute ago, but the presence of this unearthly happy man was still felt in the room.

– Are all your people so happy, or only specially trained ones? – Oleg asked more relaxed.

– Only specially trained ones!

-Are you serious?

– It doesn’t get any more serious. In order to become one of our clients, you need to prepare very seriously. The journey can be dangerous and full of surprises, and we must be sure that everything will be safe with you.

- Very interesting. Is it true. – Vivid pictures flashed through Oleg’s head, like from Hollywood films: here he is crawling along the rocks without a safety net at an altitude of a thousand meters; and here he is making his way through the jungle, chopping vines with a sharply sharpened machete; but here he is trying to find food in a deep forest thicket and fights a wild boar with his bare hands, and then tries to get a fire to fry a piece of fresh meat. And no “Allinclusives”! No cell phones! Only him and nature. These pictures awakened in him the spirit of all his ancestors in the male line. I wanted to straighten my back and look into the eyes of danger with open eyes. Wow! Yes, perhaps this is exactly what is needed.

– This is probably like in “The Last Hero”? – Oleg interrupted his rainbow burst of thoughts with a question.

– It’s different for everyone. For some, maybe so.

– Can you still be more specific? Route options. Programs. Cost, after all.

- I'll start with the cost. It is expensive. Costs fifty thousand per person.

– Fifty conditional?

– No, very specific. As for other questions, I cannot answer them yet, because I cannot offer you anything yet.

– Even if the amount doesn’t bother me? - Oleg asked simply, although deep down he understood that these fifty thousand euros (and she was talking about them, since she said “specific”) was clearly too much, unless he was taken back and forth on a private plane, and in the middle of the jungle they won’t build a bungalow specially for him with air conditioning and running water. This is ten times to relax with the help of Alina’s “Vip-Travel”!

“Even if you double it,” Elena calmly but unambiguously countered his train of thought. – The second indispensable condition is a recommendation from one of our previous clients...

-Where should I look for them?

- Don't know. We do not disclose the names of our clients. I also promise to forget about yours, if, of course, you become our client... We have been working for many years, and people come to us on the recommendations of those who have already rested with the help of our company. And yet...” here Elena’s voice dropped by half a tone, “I recommend to all our clients to draw up a will and arrange all matters before leaving... But first, resolve the issue with the recommenders.

– Do you have a website? – Oleg asked, hoping that there he would find a forum where he could read everything in detail and without veils of mystery.

“I don’t know, look,” Elena answered with a smile and stood up, making it clear that the conversation was over.

Oleg got up, got dressed, said goodbye and went outside. The cold wind seeped into all the cracks of the coat.

“Some kind of crap! Mysterious Travelers Sect! “Write a will!” On them, maybe? Yes, there is definitely some kind of catch here. Too happy client. Everything in his life is not just good, but good-good, or maybe even good-good-good. Of course, when you pay that much! Fifty “tons”! Yes, with this money you can buy an entire villa in the banana republic!”

With these thoughts, he reached his office in a business center on Kropotkinskaya in the building of a former bathhouse. Now the only thing that reminded me of the bathhouse was the pipe. Inside, everything was emphatically businesslike. There was a plasma screen right at the entrance, on which the RBC channel was constantly broadcast during working hours. As always, some numbers and indices crawled across the screen along all the vertical and horizontal lines in two rows. Smart people with serious faces said smart things. Oleg, although he was the owner of the business, did not understand anything of what they said THERE. He had the feeling that these were some kind of celestial beings or just alchemists. The owner of the business center probably tried to make the tenants feel inferior. And the guests should have realized from the very first second that this was a BUSINESS center, and not a bathhouse.

Pushing open the office door, Oleg automatically assumed a smart and concentrated look. Secretary Ksenia smiled mysteriously at something of her own. As usual, he’s chatting with his friends on ICQ.

– Oleg Yurievich, please take the mail.

Taking a pile of papers, Oleg turned towards his office, but suddenly looked again at Ksenia:

– How would you, Ksenia, relax for fifty thousand euros?

– Do you want to pay me a bonus? – Ksenia closed her eyes and smiled dreamily.

- No. That is, yes, by the Eighth of March, but not like that, of course. I am basically.

“I would like your problems, Oleg Yuryevich,” said the clearly upset Ksyusha. – I would buy myself a room!

Throwing the papers on the table and

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Plopping down in a leather chair, Oleg began to think. But it’s true that he was probably out of touch with reality. At least Ksenia looked at him the way he looked at these celestials from RBC. Indeed, fifty grand is too much.

So, what do we have here? Letters from clients, “Business Petersburg”, invoices, a letter from the owner of the business center: “Dear Oleg Yurievich! Starting next month, the rent will increase by 5%, blah blah blah, we hope for further cooperation.” Crap.

- Ksenia! Call Arina!

Arina, a young, diligent employee, stood in front of him a minute later. Short, dark straight hair, brown eyes, good figure, eyes to the floor. It was clear from her posture and gestures that she felt a little out of place. Oleg intuitively chose employees from the category of obedient workaholics. These people were ready to work as much as needed without additional payment, not ask unnecessary questions, not ask for a raise, sincerely rejoice at every gift from above in the form of a small bonus, a corporate party... and, finally, rejoice at a kind word. Their personal life was either happily arranged - each found their soul mate, who also resignedly accepted all the additional burdens of their spouse, or was not arranged at all. In this case, Oleg understood that he was giving them salvation from the painful search for an answer to the question: “Why am I lonely?” This answer was simple and clear. This was the password. A password that ninety-seven percent of all people on Earth know. By default, he excluded further questions and evoked a sigh of sympathy and compassion. It sounded something like this: “Because I have a lot of work.” The response to this password was: “How well I understand you.” All. Mine! Moreover, this is a universal password for all occasions! “Why didn’t you come to the party? Why didn’t you sign up for the dance, did you want to? Why don't you pay attention to your child? Why not…?" Sometimes the word “work” was changed to “doing.” Well, this is when you don’t work or when you have your own business, like his. It’s easier for them: he gave them a saving password, but no one gave it to him, he had to come up with it himself.

Without interrupting the train of his thoughts, Oleg mechanically gave Arina the necessary instructions, she wrote everything down without interrupting the train of her own. Oleg was sure that tomorrow everything would be ready in the best possible way, and this would not stop them from living each in their own world.

Oleg also had a lot to do: he had several meetings with clients, in addition, he had to prepare a number of letters... And he knew that he would not return home early. Yes, lately he hasn’t really liked to come back. Nobody was waiting for him. He broke up with Katya six months ago, and before that he lived with her for two years. The reason for the separation was somehow average and nasty. They got bored with each other. And they began to spend less and less time together, looking for all sorts of urgent matters and reasons not to see each other again. Staying together, we strained ourselves, trying to force out emotions and words. Situations in which it was possible to remain silent turned out to be a salvation, for example, going to the cinema or theater, where (hurray!) you couldn’t even talk, and then there was something to discuss without delving into each other’s words. But even their discussions increasingly began to turn into quarrels, because, as it turned out, they thought differently.

They also liked to relax, as it turned out, in different ways. Oleg preferred large crowds of people, “movement,” and novelty. In a minute he could change plans and rush to some unknown place, but Katya could not stand this. She should have known in advance where they were going, how good the conditions were there, who she knew would be there. And if, God forbid, something did not go according to plan, she began to get nervous herself and make him nervous. As a result, the vacation turned into another showdown.

But how well it all started! They met in the summer at a mutual friend's dacha. The heady air of July. A lake with water as warm as a blanket. A fire with crackling coals. Evening concerts of crickets and birds. Katya smiled so much, danced so much, walked and talked so much that Oleg immediately recognized his ideal in her. She worked as a lawyer in one of the city institutions. Colleague! She could understand the nuances of the legal cases that Oleg told her. She listened to him with rapture, admiring his resourcefulness and enterprise. Then it turned out that they love the same films and the same actors, admire the same books, have the same values ​​and ideas about a good future. They understand each other perfectly! They were in no hurry to rush into bed, since they both liked the game of gradual seduction. But when the last covers were shed, some kind of unbridled sex boom began. They wanted each other everywhere and always. We tried everything we could imagine...

This went on for three months, and these were the best months of his life. How much he would give to do it all again. How he was now waiting for this spark again... He peered into the faces of passing girls, made acquaintances at parties... But fifteen minutes after the start of communication with the contender for his heart, Oleg clearly understood that there would be nothing even close to that here.

His attention was diverted by a draft of his business proposal lying on the table for a large multinational sportswear company. This was another pain point for Oleg. For several months now he has been trying to open a new direction for his legal business - to provide services for representing the interests of companies that are entering the Russian market. He even introduced another staffing position for this and hired Arthur, a young ambitious lawyer, an elgeushnik, fluent in business and legal English and conversational French. And for several months now he has been paying him a salary that exceeds the salary of any lawyer in his firm. Complete nonsense! Arthur did practically nothing, because when he was hired, it was agreed that he would only deal with foreigners. Oleg did not want to fire him, firstly, because he expected that work was about to begin and he would work Arthur to the fullest, and secondly, he had been looking for such a specialist for too long, based on the salary that he could offer, and in -Thirdly, Arthur was for him a living stimulus and a reminder of his cherished goal.

Arthur, of course, felt at ease, receiving a good salary and not doing a damn thing, which greatly irritated Oleg and other employees. Almost no one communicated with him, and he did not seek communication. I surfed the Internet, read books, sometimes translated something, wrote letters, advertisements and other pieces of paper in English and French. But, however, he was never late and was present at all meetings.

The problem was that Oleg had already failed negotiations with foreigners twice, and new ones loomed ahead - in two weeks. And Oleg waited for this day with excitement and fear. The contract amount would be enough to immediately double the company's monthly income, and this would be a significant breakthrough in all areas.

Oleg was also hurt by the fact that Arthur acted as a translator in the unsuccessful negotiations; he was the only one who knew exactly everything that was said there, and he was also a witness to Oleg’s international fiasco. At the same time, Arthur felt carefree, like a duck to water, and easily joked with foreigners, understanding them perfectly.

In general, all this

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Oleg was very annoyed! And what irritated him most was that he was not ready for new negotiations, and knew that they would fail too! He knew that after this his hands could completely give up and he would freeze this entire international project to hell. Each previous meeting was too expensive a pleasure - after all, Oleg took upon himself everything: hotel accommodation, car trips, a cultural program, and the purchase of souvenirs. After each meeting, his company’s budget decreased significantly, but there was no gain! Some kind of vicious circle!

“The city above the free Neva, the city of our labor glory...” the mobile phone sang... which means it’s one of our friends.

- Olegich, hello! Let's go have a beer! I opened a new pub here! What German sausages and Russian waitresses! Let's! I'm at your front door at eight!

- No, San, I can’t do it today, I have a lot to do.

- Oh, I understand, well, come on, clear out your legal rubble! Next time then! Bye!

- Wait, San. Listen, do you have any friends left in the office?

– Not kind of, but definitely!

– Can you get one car per owner? I need his address and phone number. Car number: “Ulyana, three sevens, Roman, Anatoly.” Did you write it down?

- I remember! And what? Did he cut you off?

- Yes, something like that...

- So you want to find him and send him around the world? Look, just no crime!

- What a crime, San! I'm not going to compete with you! – Oleg laughed. - I'm a lawyer!

Sanya worked in the authorities for seven years. He ran after pickpockets, then went into hiding, and as it turned out later, he went public. Then he opened his own security company. He was always friends with sports and at one time taught Oleg to it, for which Oleg was sincerely grateful to him to this day. “Oh, if only it weren’t for the time!..” Oleg sighed. In his pocket, gathering dust, was his Empire Fitness membership, which he had not visited for two months. He bought a subscription there to strengthen his back, which periodically bothered him. Pilates was recommended to him. Having gone to class once, Oleg never appeared there again. “Damn, just women, I feel like a cactus in the snow! And then leave the hall with them all. What will the men think?

Friends considered Oleg a successful person. Yes, he himself believed that he had achieved something in life. Moreover, he achieved it on his own, without the help of mommy and daddy, as was often practiced in his field.

His parents were his nerve, his never-healing boil. His father died when Oleg was twenty-two. He died of alcoholism, having lived, by Oleg’s standards, a rather meaningless life. My father was lost in his creative fantasies, because he had the worst profession in the world - the profession of an artist.

For himself, Oleg long ago realized that this is the most disgusting path, consisting of three stages: paint paintings and try to sell them, paint paintings and not try to sell them, do not paint paintings and not try to sell them, but tell everyone that you are an artist, that art is “in the ass”, and pour out your grief with bottles of beer, vodka, and port wine together with the same failed artists.

Often there was no food at home. Mom earned little, and in the harsh times of perestroika, when salaries were delayed for months and there was no one to borrow from, there were days when there was no money at all, not a penny. At the same time, my father sat at home and didn’t even try to get a job somewhere: “I can’t work as a loader or a janitor! I’m an artist!” When my mother managed to find some money, my father, in the literal sense of the word, squeezed it out of her for drinks, God forbid, if there was at least something left for bread.

Oleg recalled how he once ate half a loaf of black round bread while he was carrying it from the store, and had difficulty stopping, although it was his only food that day. He remembered how often he went to visit friends, where he was always fed. At that time, Oleg thought that wealth was when there was cheese and sausage in the house.

Oleg also could not forget the pictures from his childhood of his father beating his mother. His beloved, quiet, uncomplaining mother. How he cried in the next room, gritting his teeth, burying his head in the pillow and clenching his fists as hard as he could. He couldn't forget it and couldn't forgive it.

The father died suddenly. He was taken away in an ambulance, and in the morning they called and reported his death. Oleg cried, mom cried. There was little money for the funeral, so they did everything very modestly. He suffered, but at the same time he rejoiced a little. I thought that now my mother could breathe easy. He will find himself another husband. But my mother started drinking on her own. First a little at a time, then binge-drinking. Oleg raised her, begged her, yelled at her, but everything was useless, she promised, swore, and a month later everything was repeated. Then my mother went to live with another man, Valery, who also liked to drink. Oleg rarely visited her - either when she was sober, or when it was necessary to get her out of another binge.

Oleg was ashamed of his parents, angry with them, and tried not to think about them.

Now he always had cheese and sausage in his refrigerator, he always had money, but his inner cry was: “Why?! For what?!" never subsided in my soul. Every holiday that could have been a family holiday reminded him that he had no one to sit with at the festive table, no one would ask about his successes, no one would support him in his experiences.

Oleg is used to relying only on himself. He studied both in high school and at the institute not because it was necessary, but because he saw this as the only way out of poverty and the only path to future achievements. He tried to be the best, the best in all subjects, so in the evenings, after studying, he sat in the library, wrote reports, and read. Rarely participated in parties of classmates and fellow students, considering it a waste of time. He never gave anyone any hints or let anyone cheat, enjoying the fact that he was not wasting his time in vain and always knew the correct answer.

Oleg realized for himself a long time ago that selfishness is the only correct approach to life. He hated weakness and poverty. I never gave to the poor. “By giving alms to a beggar, you condemn him to beggary,” he liked to say.

His philosophy of life led him to some success, but recently he began to notice that he had hit a kind of “glass wall.” Something kept his business from growing, his heart from loving, his body from resting, and his soul from finding peace. Rest. Oleg again remembered about his vacation. He had already come to terms with the fact that he would never be able to truly rest, and then, when it seemed that there was another kind of rest, it was another bummer!

The cell phone began to sing again. Sashka.

- Old man, write it down! Alder Alley, seven.

- And the apartment?

– What an apartment, it’s, by the way, a separate house, on Kamenny Island. No phone number provided. By the way, my friend has a couple more cars, interesting?

- Well, go ahead and call.

- Yes, thank you, San, I’m due!

Stone Island is another galaxy in St. Petersburg. If you are taken there with your eyes closed, you will never think that there is a busy avenue a couple of kilometers away. Neat paths buried in hectares of park, individual houses of exquisite architecture with ponds and bridges, peace and quiet. Island of Prosperity. Deputies, diplomats, oligarchs and... Mikhail Evgenievich lived there. The latter clearly somehow did not fit into this series of pompous, iconic gentlemen. Has the holiday really changed him that much? We need to visit this gentleman and ask

It was eight o'clock in the evening. The office was already empty. Oleg turned the car keys in his hands. Should I go home? Join Sanya? Or... He suddenly realized that if he didn’t go now, he would never dare. “After all, what do I have to lose?”

Having handed over the office for security, passing by the always serious security guards, who were no longer watching RBC, but had switched the plasma to some regular TV series about policemen and criminals, Oleg plopped into his car - unremarkable, no longer fashionable, but his beloved Nissan Primera" in a futuristic, as he liked to say, body. Oleg adored its leather interior. With the arrangement of instruments and buttons, it reminded him of the cockpit of a spaceship, and the CVT turned driving in and around the city into a pleasant pastime. The radio began to sing, the climate control and heated seats started working, and now he had already forgotten that it was February outside the window.

Having quite quickly reached the desired house using the GPS navigator (Oleg was poorly oriented on Kamenny Island), he parked the car near a natural stone fence. Intercom with one button. I'll probably have to explain myself to the guards now.

“Come in,” the intercom muttered without any questions, and the door gave way.

"Simple as that!" – thought Oleg. A few steps along the paved path to a beautiful oak door with carvings, past an alpine slide, mini-canals with bridges dusted with snow.

The door swung open. Mikhail Evgenievich stood on the threshold. In a dressing gown, barefoot, smiling like an old friend.

- If I'm not mistaken, Oleg?

– Absolutely right, Mikhail Evgenievich!

– You can just Mikhail.

Oleg prepared for questions about how he found it and why he came, but, having heard nothing of the kind, he was even more confused.

- Why do you...

- Let's get started right away...

- Okay, why don’t you ask how I found you? (Oleg still felt somehow uncomfortable calling such a... weighty person by his first name.)

- What difference does it make to me? This will not surprise anyone now, and in this case it is absolutely not important. The result is important: you are here and probably came for recommendations for a travel agency.

- Is it really worth it?

- It's up to you.

- Well... was yours worth it?

- What is that?

- Well, in order to buy a ticket.

– What could this mean to you?

- Well, of course, reviews from tourists, experiences...

- Well, that was my experience.

– What about sharing experiences?

– Experience cannot be exchanged, my friend, you can only teach how to acquire your own.

Oleg stood in complete incomprehension. Everything didn’t go according to the script, and he really fell into a stupor.

“I don’t have time to stand in the aisle and waste time chatting,” Mikhail interrupted the silence, “I was actually going to go to the sauna to warm up.” If you want to talk, take off your clothes, take your robe and come with me, and let's not waste time.

A good-natured smile spread across Mikhail’s face. “That’s how I got it! – flashed through Oleg’s head. - Everything is clear, in my opinion, he is “blue”. Before I had time to meet him, he was already dragging me to the bathhouse. Or maybe there's something wrong with his head. Damn, why did I come here? Or should we go and see? Why can’t I cope with him if he pesters me? I think he was a master's master in boxing."

Oleg began to take off his shoes. “Damn, I have a hole in my sock! Now I’ll start filming and he’ll see! He’ll think – he’s going on a trip for fifty grand, but he doesn’t have the money for socks!” Oleg had a lot of normal socks, but, like many bachelors, they lay like an Egyptian pyramid in the bathroom, waiting for their Maundy Thursday. And since Thursday moved stubbornly, there were already almost identical socks in use, and slightly different shades, and this morning there were only one left - with a hole.

- No, you know, I’d better come by some other time, now is probably not the time, and I don’t want to bother you with inconveniences. Sorry.

“Who told you that next time I’ll let you in, that I’ll want to talk to you?” Where do you even get the belief that there are “other times”? “One” is, by definition, one thing. And there is no second time, no second chance, even in fairy tales. It will be a completely different fairy tale, if there is one at all!

- Well, it won’t, and that’s okay! This was not the most important issue on my agenda! – Oleg flared up. This crazy person has already begun to annoy him, and even with his moralizing.

– You didn’t really want to? You probably accidentally remembered my number, accidentally found out where I live, accidentally drove through rush hour traffic to my house, which you accidentally found right away, and now that I opened the door for you and am ready to communicate with you, you are ready to run away , having convinced yourself that this is not important to you, and flush your goal down the toilet, albeit small, but a goal, because of a holey sock? Yes, it has become a hundred times more holey! You already have a hole in your jacket all the way down the back, and in your fly, and it looks like there’s a hole in your head too! You can go, but then you will regret for the rest of your life about another missed opportunity, periodically drowning out your pain with consolations like “I didn’t really want to!” And I bet that in your worthless life, you have stopped more than once one step before the end of the path, having done a lot of work and convincing yourself that you are not interested. Come on! – and Mikhail grabbed the door handle to close it.

Oleg was dumbfounded. He was offended, surprised, and interested at the same time. Hundreds of thoughts raced through his head, but one thought hurt the most: “Mikhail is right! So many times I started something and didn’t finish it, first putting it off because of some doubts, and then trying to forget, to convince myself that I didn’t really want it. Even this topic with foreigners...” Oleg was internally ready to abandon this idea if the third time did not work out. “And how did he know about the holey sock? I didn’t have time to take off my shoes!”

- How did you find out about the sock???

Mikhail burst into laughter. He laughed, even jumping and bending down. When the laughter died down, he replied:

- What, did I get it? Hit the target? Yes, everything is very simple, they announced it on the Business FM radio in the morning, citing this as the reason for the fall of Asian markets! Phew, made me laugh! Oleg! You are predictable to the point of impossibility, I'm afraid I still have a lot to say about you. After. If you want.

“Since the hole in the sock can be ignored, then there is no other reason not to continue the conversation,” Oleg thought, and asked out loud:

– Where can I get a robe if the offer is still valid?

- No, I won’t give you a robe anymore! On the! Take the sheet! You must at least somehow feel that the second chance is different from the first! Come after me!

He followed the chuckling Mikhail. A staircase trimmed with natural stone led directly from the hall down to the ground. It was followed by a wide corridor, the warm floor of which was covered with Italian tiles that imitated ancient shabby pavement. To the right and left there were several oak doors with wrought iron handles. Forged sconces hung on the walls. The last one was a low door, made of ordinary grayed pine boards. Mikhail stopped next to her, watching Oleg’s reaction. Oleg didn’t even have to pretend that he was surprised: such a contrast.

The interior that opened behind the door, through which you had to bend down, was no less surprising. Log walls, plank floors and ceilings, chopped wooden benches and a huge wooden table. In one of the corners there was a bench, above which there were hangers in the form of huge square nails driven directly into the wall. From the ceiling

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There were several light bulbs hanging without lampshades or shades, to which a wiring of twisted wires ran straight along the ceiling. Several ropes also hanging from the ceiling were hung with bundles of some herbs and flowers. Apparently, it was from them that the smell came... of mown grass and spices. Two similar small wooden doors led to two more rooms.

“On the left is the steam room, on the right is the shower,” Mikhail said and disappeared into the steam room. On the right wall there was a small window, from which... a view of the night village landscape opened up: a road going down, a lake, a forest. All this was complemented by the rhythmic singing of a cricket. And outside the window you could hear dogs barking and roosters crowing. Oleg pinched himself: “What the hell!” – and came closer to the window. "Well! All clear! However, skillfully! – Behind the window there was a false wall, apparently made of glass, on which was attached a photograph larger in size than the window itself. And, apparently, it was also illuminated from behind. A complete illusion of the view from the window of a village bathhouse.

Having hung his things on the nails and wrapped the sheet, Oleg dived into the steam room through the second low door. There was a dim light burning there, illuminating the same log walls and plank shelves? On one of them sat Mikhail with a broom and a felt hat, rubbing his wet body with his free hand.

- Toss it? – Oleg asked, going up to the stove, where there was a large cauldron with steaming water.

- Throw it up! – Mikhail said casually.

- And where to? – Oleg asked, suddenly realizing that he did not see the usual mountain of stones for the sauna.

- Over there, in the pipe, do you see the door? Pry it with a ladle!

Oleg used a long ladle with a wooden handle and a copper bowl to pry the iron latch and pull the door towards himself. The door opened with a creak, revealing the flushed interior. Having scooped up water from the cauldron, Oleg sprinkled it onto the hot stones, which responded with a cloud of gray steam and a sharp hiss. Having put down the ladle, he sat down not far from Mikhail. There was a silent pause.

Of course, Oleg was amazed and even shocked by such a drastic change in the situation. The complete impression was created that he was not here, not in St. Petersburg, but somewhere in a remote village. It was so amazing and unreal that he forgot about everything: both the purpose of his appearance and Mikhail’s ridicule. Oleg considered it inappropriate to express his delight violently and emotionally. He tried to maintain the pose of a man experienced in everything. Like: “Yes, and we are not born with bast.”

- Why are you suddenly tense? – Mikhail asked, smiling.

- No, I just didn’t expect it...

- Yes, you are greedy!!!

- What?!! – Oleg was taken aback. Well, this definition was completely out of place. "What does he mean? He didn’t ask me for anything, and I didn’t seem to promise anything. The comrade is clearly not adequate. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible. But how? Damn, that's inconvenient. Everything is somehow wrong! I was given this ticket! Now I don’t know how to excuse myself and sneak away as quickly as possible.” All this flashed through his mind to the accompaniment of Mikhail’s spreading laughter. Having laughed to his heart's content, he asked:

- Should I explain?

- Yes, be so kind! – Oleg emphasized the word “be.”

– You are greedy for emotions! I see how you are bursting with surprise, and you sit and pretend that everything is as usual for you! Like every day? Or do you have everything the same, only made of gold? So at least share this, talk about it! Buddy! It's not me who needs this! I come here several times a week and every time I am surprised how I managed it. I made a copy of my grandfather's bathhouse in the village of Zaykovo, Tver region. I really liked it there! By the way, it wasn’t all that expensive! It’s not a matter of price or show-off, but of emotions and mood. I tried, you know?! And I am bursting with goodness when I come here every time! I'm having a blast! And now I share this with you. Just. I don't need anything from you! But you don't take it! You're stuck and don't want to have fun! And only one thing is stopping you - your greed. It's a pity for you to give away a few good words. You feel so sorry for giving them away that you are ready not to even take everything else for yourself. Understand? “He patted Oleg on the shoulder, jumped off the bench and went out to the dressing room.

Oleg remained to flow around. In every sense of the word. He caught himself thinking that since he opened the door of this house, he had been experiencing constant discomfort. Moreover, this discomfort is strange - you don’t want to run away from it. He just constantly forces you to re-evaluate something. It destroys the framework of the usual and forces you to look for new answers to some questions that are already taken for granted. And now something out of the ordinary has happened.

He is used to never showing how he feels about this or that event. Containing emotions is something that his work as a lawyer taught him to do. The clients were different, especially before, when he worked as a criminal lawyer. He would never communicate with some of them in his life, and at work he sometimes had to become their only friend. Again, meeting with wealthy clients, I saw something else. One day, a helicopter was sent for him so that he could fly to sign an agreement in Belarus, where his client was hunting with his partner. He saw enough there that in the future he always thought: “I’ve seen something cooler,” when they tried to surprise him with something. It’s a pity that talking about this was not allowed by a non-disclosure agreement, drawn up in such a way that even thinking about it was considered a violation of it.

The heat of the steam room became unbearable, and Oleg went back into the dressing room, and from there into the shower room. The shower, by the way, was made in a completely urban style: tiles in the style of old Italian pavement, a pair of bronze shower arms. Large oak font with running water. Washing off the first sweat, Oleg calmed down a little. “Still, an interesting guy, maybe just a little crazy,” he concluded, going back to the dressing room, bending under the low frame. The smell of wood took over his mind in an intoxicating way. Wrapping himself in a stiff linen sheet, he walked up to the table where Mikhail was already sitting.

- Seagull? - he asked, smiling and pointing at the large copper samovar standing in the middle of the table.

“No, thank you, I don’t drink after the first drink,” Oleg answered, sitting down on the bench so that the pseudo-window could be seen.

– Barking dogs and crickets in the recording?

– Dogs and roosters, yes, but the crickets are real! I brought a few of them and released them on purpose! We've settled down!

– It’s actually very cool! And these logs, and grass, and the idea with the window and sounds! I can’t even believe that we are in the city center.

- In fact? And what did your indifferent look mean? Not yourself? And how many of them do you have?

– Why are you so clingy to words?! I mean it sincerely! Don't be such a bore! – Oleg flared up. – What is all this for? Can't we just talk, tell you briefly about this journey? What's the trick?

- Okay, let's keep it simple. You are not ready for the journey.

– By the way, I am a former master of sports...

“It’s not a matter of physical preparation,” Mikhail interrupted, “but a psychological one.” My previous protégé, Seryozha, did not return. Although I went to the gym every morning and swam thirty laps in the pool twice a week.

- What happened to him? Dead?

- Didn't come back. Let's not talk about this. You see, this is not just a journey. It contains all the beauties of the world, but also all its dangers. You get an incomparable experience in exchange for readiness

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take risks and get out of your comfort zone. And also, according to the contract, the journey can begin at any time, and its completion does not depend on you. There will be neither the usual flight schedule, nor hotel reservations, nor a pre-planned tour program. You will often have to resort to the help of strangers whose language you don’t even know. You will need to decide in a second: who is in front of you - a friend or an enemy. But the most important thing is not outside. These are all seeds! Your most important friend and enemy will lie in wait for you every second. They will appear before every important decision and give you opposite advice, on which everything will depend, including your health and your life! And they both are located inside you. The most important thing is to deal with them. Understand: who helps you and who hinders you! Who will lead to success and who to destruction! In order to go the whole way, you will have to be honest with yourself and those around you every second. If it hurts, you need to scream, if it’s scary, you’ll have to be afraid, and if it’s funny, you’ll have to laugh! If you laugh when you need to ask for help, you might just die! Then there will be no one to say: “In fact, I was in pain, but I laughed out of habit.” That's why I give meaning to your words. They speak for you much more than you think about it, and I will show you this more than once if you finally pull yourself together and begin to behave naturally and truthfully with me. I have the right to count on this, because you will trust me with your life by agreeing to the Journey. Thought-word-action – one line! Realize this! It is important! It is very important! This is vital! “There wasn’t even a shadow of a smile on Mikhail’s face. His eyes seemed to be scanning Oleg's brain. But there was silence there. More precisely, the calm before the storm.

Mikhail broke this pause by getting up and entering the steam room. Oleg followed him. He was thinking about why Mikhail, a person who sees him for the second time in his life, is so important to his life and fate. There was something unnatural about it, because it couldn’t be like this! Because it's not true! “What benefit, what goal does he pursue? Where is the catch here? - he thought and did not find an answer. In Mikhail's eyes he saw neither a shadow of lies nor pretense. “Maybe a good actor? But why?"

– Do you always sit like this? – Mikhail’s calm voice interrupted him.

- How am I sitting? – Oleg was surprised, sitting on the top shelf, placing his feet on the next one from below.

“Your back is hunched and your right shoulder is slightly higher than your left.” And also - you periodically shake your head, as if trying to throw off an annoying scarf.

– Well, to be honest, I have problems with my back.

– What if it’s “dishonest”?

- In terms of?

– You again speak as if you live in several realities. In one you are honest, in the other you are dishonest. The main thing is not to confuse where you are. Do you know what I mean? Speak definitely, at least to me... and then you will probably like it.

– I have problems with my back. There was a hernia. Several times a year I got so twisted that I couldn’t walk. Then I went to see one grandmother, on advice. Lives on the edge of the city, in Pargolovo. She spoke hernia. I haven’t suffered so much for more than ten years, although I didn’t believe it. But my back and neck sometimes ache. Sedentary work.

“Come on, lie down on the bench, I’ll feel you,” Mikhail said, getting up from the shelf.

- Well, no, what are you talking about?! Don't worry! - Oleg answered hastily, but thought to himself: “Or maybe he’s “blue” after all?”

– Why are you so alarmed? Don't be afraid! I won't pester you! – Mikhail said, laughing, as if reading Oleg’s thoughts. - Come on, lie down! In general, I would like to draw your attention to two more points: firstly, I sincerely offered to help you, but you refused. And I refused not because you doubt my qualifications in this matter, you didn’t even ask me about it! And secondly: why do you decide for me whether I should worry or not? Get down! I won’t offer it a third time!

Obeying Mikhail’s peremptory tone, some of his inner calm strength, Oleg lay down on the shelf, placing a sheet under him. Mikhail began to feel his spine, muttering: “Yeah, we have a twist here. Here, I feel the muscles are hypertonic. The neck is a total disaster.” They didn't steam, and it wasn't very hot. Oleg’s warm, limp body responded gratefully to Mikhail’s manipulations. He kneaded the muscles of his back, pressing in some places, rubbing in others, pulling the skin in others, tapping in others. He acted calmly and deliberately, muttering something, and from the outside it might seem that he was simply assembling furniture from IKEA.

He didn’t notice how many minutes Oleg lay there. He seemed to have fallen into oblivion. He woke up to Mikhail shaking him by the shoulders with both hands: “Wake up!” Oleg tried to raise his relaxed body, but Mikhail stopped him: “But you don’t need to get up! I opened the door. It's not hot here. Lie down a little longer, just turn over on your back.”

How nice and pleasant it was to lie in the warmth, on a wooden bench, and feel how your body spreads over a horizontal surface, like a film of oil on water. A pleasant emptiness also formed in my head. I didn’t want to talk or think. “Lie there a little longer and come out, just don’t douse yourself with cold water. Take the robe on the shelf,” he heard Mikhail’s voice through the veil covering his consciousness. “I could lie like that forever!”

The eternity lasted another five minutes, after which Oleg slowly rose from the shelf? and went out to the dressing room. Finding with his eyes a shelf with dressing gowns, Oleg took one of them and threw it on himself. Mikhail had already poured two cups of tea and was sitting, smiling, at the head of the table.

- Take a seat! Treat yourself to some tea with St. John's wort!

- Thank you! “Oleg didn’t need much persuasion. - Thanks a lot! I don't know what you did, but I feel much better! Listen! Didn't the steam room cool down because you opened the door?

- Cheers! It's cooled down, of course! Okay! Not us for the steam room, but the steam room for us! Today I want to use it in this mode. It wouldn't have been a normal parka anyway. In the steam room you should not philosophize, but take a steam bath. By the way, your back is not fatally bad... yet. It is necessary to strengthen it regularly with sports activities. If you don’t work on it, you might even go to bed.

- Do you need to pump it up? – Oleg asked, picking up a large clay mug with aromatic tea.

- In no case! At least not now. If you now grab the iron with a crooked spine, it may twist even worse. We must first build it evenly and strengthen it. It’s better to do some kind of gymnastics specifically for the spine, Pilates, for example.

– Yes, I was once at Pilates at our club. Bespontovo. Some girls are walking.

Mikhail looked at him as if he were crazy, and then laughed a creepy laugh.

– Can you hear yourself, guy? Do you even understand what's going on? I'm telling you about a VITALLY important thing. If you don't do this, you'll be lying very pompous in a hospital bed in a glamorous tracksuit! Realize this! You are making a choice between health and your idea of ​​what is “show-off” in favor of the latter! All! Let's put out the lights! There's nothing more to talk about with you. You don’t need to think about relaxing at resorts, but about eternal peace! You could just as easily come to me with a straight razor, cut your wrists in front of me, and then ask for recommendations for a travel agency!

Oleg froze with

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cup at mouth.

- Okay, go warm up one more time, wash yourself and go home, boy, they've been waiting for you at home... glamorous slippers. There's no one else waiting for you, is there? Right?

“That’s right,” Oleg answered tiredly.

He could neither be offended, nor argue, nor be angry. Some kind of emptiness crept into his heart. There's a lump in my throat. There was no strength left even to hold the mug, and he put it on the table. Complete indifference and apathy to what is happening. For a second he actually felt suicidal. At that second he suddenly didn’t care whether there was a next one.

He suddenly felt that Mikhail had dug so deep into him that he had touched all his vital organs. He communicated with him for only a couple of hours, and then... Somewhere deep inside himself, he heard an echo of Mikhail's words... Snatches of memories echoed him... Here he is rushing at an incredible speed in a car, breaking the rules, and miraculously remains alive... Now they are pumping him out to hospital after a three-day drinking session... Here he crawls ashore after five hours of struggling with the ocean current... And all this, by and large, is due to secret loneliness. Loneliness among friends and daily meetings. Loneliness is like prolonged death, so in order to feel alive, he periodically wanted to play with death.

Mikhail went to warm up, and Oleg sat with his elbows on the table and staring into his cup. It reflected a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The songs of the crickets and the barking of dogs were just right. He looked up at the false window. At that moment, the view outside the window seemed more real to him than the fact that a kilometer away there were cars stuck in traffic jams. I wish I could get there - into this world of harmony and peace.

He wasn't angry with Mikhail. He understood that he knew some secret. The secret of a happy life. The kind of life when happiness is inside, and not for show, and everyone around feels it. You rarely meet such a person, and if you do, you will want him to become your friend. People are either drawn to such people like a magnet, or they run away like hell from incense. There are no indifferent people. Everyone understands that this is the bearer of some secret power, and it attracts some and repels others.

Rising from the bench, Oleg went to the steam room. Mikhail was already sitting there, waving a broom.

- Mikhail, why are you alone in your luxury?

- Durik. I have a wife and three children. They are at work now.

- At work? At a time like this? And children?

“You should have seen your face, my friend!” Yes at work! They look after our hotel in warmer climes. I’ll finish my work here within a month and call them.

It was not possible to catch Misha saying that everything was not all right with him. There is such a fun that goes back to childhood, and for many it remains for the rest of their lives - to find someone’s “bo-bo” even worse than yours, and calm down. I couldn't calm down.

- Mish! I can't understand how you manage to do this. But you're right. He was right in everything he said about me. I myself sometimes feel that something is wrong. I read a lot, including books on psychology. I'm trying to understand myself. Sometimes it seems to me that something is working out. Some days I seem to catch on to something and make significant moves in my life, and then I fall back into a rut. I reassure myself that everything is not so bad for me. I achieved a lot on my own. I'm not in poverty. Own company. I thought that when all this was done, it would somehow become more joyful and simpler. It's gone, Mish! The development plans I am making are hitting a wall. The relationship with the girl has long been at a dead end. There are no new ones. Everything else is superficial. That’s why I probably want to rest so that... I get a shake-up, feel alive and strong, maybe something will change...

- I'm glad you stopped making faces. Apparently you really really need to go there. I am ready to prepare you, but for this you will have to trust me completely and undergo a training course. Are you ready for this?

– The course will be difficult and sometimes unpleasant. More than once you will want to leave him. Sometimes you will hate me. You will regret opening my door a hundred times today. But if you go through this preparation, its meaning will be revealed to you, and your journey will become the most beautiful of your life. I'll waste my time. This is a tradition because at one time my mentor spent it on me and I must repay my debt. But there is one condition without which further conversation will not make sense.

– Prepayment of the tour in full before the start of preparation. Money will not be returned. Even if you don’t undergo training and don’t go anywhere. Even if you are on the verge of life and death, and you need an urgent brain transplant. If you agree, come to the office tomorrow at fourteen o’clock with the money and sign the agreement.

- Isn’t this a scam? – A lawyer suddenly woke up in Oleg. It became very hot in the steam room. A large amount of sweat broke out all over my body at the same time.

- It depends on you!

- In terms of?

– If you don’t undergo training, you will waste your time and money. If you pass, you will never regret your vacation in your life. In general - a stupid question! If I wanted to scam you, what would I answer your question? Think by yourself! In general, you will have time to think until tomorrow. And now, when you wash yourself and dry off, sit down at the table, I’ll explain something to you. You want to know the answers to questions you can't ask?

- It sounds ambiguous, but I will answer yes.

“I’ll tell you something that will be important to you in life, even if you don’t come tomorrow.”

“Good,” Oleg said, jumping off the shelf, as the heat had already crept up to his liver.

Oleg took a shower. On the shelf lay a bar of brown soap - the most ordinary “Tar” soap for fifteen rubles. There was no shower gel or shampoo anywhere. In this, Mikhail showed asceticism.

Washing off the hot sweat in the shower, Oleg thought. He was sick. Emotions replaced one another, thoughts could not keep up with them. “Routing... chance... step... fifty “pieces”... massage... game... Pilates... tomorrow... foreigners... damn, how difficult everything is! Okay, let’s listen to what he says now, and then we’ll decide!”

After drying himself with a towel, he threw on a robe and entered the dressing room. “And I wonder if the light bulb really hangs on a wire?” He reached out to it with his hand and slightly pulled the cartridge towards himself. At that moment, a flushed Mikhail came out of the steam room. Out of surprise, Oleg abruptly let go of the light bulb, and it began to dangle, creating dancing shadows on the walls.

– The firefighters did the same! Just don't flinch. Hanging wiring is a sham. The power wire is hidden in the ceiling, as expected. I keep it safe. Pour some tea. Me now.

Mikhail disappeared into the shower room. You could hear him jump into the font and growl contentedly. Oleg sat down in his previous place. “Today has been a strange evening. Suddenly". There was no need to pour tea. The previous one was drunk, God willing, by a quarter. Having taken several sips, Oleg only now felt its taste. It smelled of hayfields and countryside. “In any case, an interesting change of scenery and cool ideas, I’ll have to remember it.”

Mikhail entered. He put on a robe and sat down next to him.

– What stands between desire and result? – he asked without preamble.

- Obstacles, probably.

– What obstacle do you have between wanting to drink a sip of tea and drinking a sip?

- None.

– Then why did you say the word “obstacle”?

- Don't know.

– Okay, then what really stands between desire and obstacle?

– Thoughts – how

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overcome it.

- Look, I haven’t yet told you what my desire is, but you immediately blurted out the word “obstacle”! Remember this moment! Fine. Let’s say you’ve already created an “obstacle” for yourself. Go ahead. What will determine whether you find a way “to overcome the obstacle” or not?

– Analysis, reflections.

– What determines what “analysis and reflection” will incline you to, to overcome or retreat?

– Well, probably, from the result of the analysis of the situation, all the objective factors and conditions.

– What determines what the analysis will lead to? To what decision? To what result?

– It depends on whether everything is analyzed correctly, whether there is enough initial data.

– What determines whether everything was analyzed correctly, whether there will be enough data? And in general, that’s right – how is that?

– That’s right, if it leads to results!

– What if it was wrong, but led to results?

- So it was right after all! What is all this for? What ridiculous questions!

– Yeah, it has already begun to manifest itself! This is good, it means you hit it!

- Who is he? Misha, are you delusional? – At that moment, Oleg began to doubt that maybe Mikhail was “the one” after all...

- ABOUT! Very good! I can already hear it! Can you hear it too?

- Whom, Mish? What are you talking about?

– About the voice in your head! Yes, yes, the same one who is now telling you: “What kind of nonsense is he talking about! There is no voice! The voice that now orders me to start getting angry at me, which can now say: “Get up and get out of here!”

- So what? Let's say everything is as you said. These are my thoughts! Everyone has them! Yes, and you too! Is not it so?

- Who cares?

– I control mine myself. He works for me. He has led me to success and will lead me to even greater success. And yours controls you. It destroys you, your plans, upsets your relationships, poisons your rest, makes Sunday evening unbearable and Monday awakening disgusting. He locked you in your office like in a cage. He does not allow normal relationships and real friends into your life. He shits under your windows! He puts your hands down! He ruins the weather! He is now protesting in you against me and my words! Did you recognize him?

- Well, wait, everything that you listed depends on character, on temperament, on habits, on mood, on physical condition, on atmospheric pressure, on circumstances, objective factors, finally!

- And this is his favorite saying! And there is another series: “It happened! It's so destined! What has grown has grown! Circumstances are stronger than us! Everything that is done is for the better!”

– Isn’t that so? Aren't there objective factors?

– We may talk about this later. Now I want to understand, do you understand that you have a voice in your head?

- Yes, I understand.

– Where does it come from, do you realize?

- These are my thoughts.

– Where do your thoughts come from?

- From the brain.

– How do they appear there?

– Electrical impulses. Neurons. All that. I'm not a doctor, I don't know.

- Calm down. Even doctors don't know! I am not talking about that! Why are they different for everyone?

– Different levels of education, upbringing, genes again.

– Then maybe you can explain why people with the same education achieve different heights? Why are children of the same family so different? Why, starting from one point, does one become a millionaire and the other a homeless person? Why do some people benefit from situations that others perceive as losing?

- Don't know. And do you know?

- I know! And now you can understand too, if you want! Let's look at you and your actions today! Everything is just outrageous! Let’s say that our meeting today could bring an important result for you - “the trip of your dreams.” Let's say?

– Have you thought that this could be important for you?

- Since I came, that means I was thinking.

- Fine. You have already taken several steps: you found out where I live, decided to talk to me, came by car, spent time and gas, found the strength to ring the doorbell, probably prepared a five-minute monologue explaining why you are here. This is true?

- Yes, yes.

– You stood at the door and looked like a complete idiot when I immediately invited you to come in! Why?

- I did not expect…

- Certainly! You didn't expect this. You prepared for questions, for a fight, for rudeness, for an “obstacle,” but not for this. You immediately achieved your goal and... got confused. Why? What thoughts were in your head at that moment? What did your inner “commentator” tell you, let’s call it that? “Where is the obstacle”?

- More likely, he didn’t say anything. Everything was unexpected. Not according to the script.

“And that’s why you didn’t know what to do!” You are confused. Where has your confidence gone? What are your years of experience? Now imagine that your “commentator” at that moment would say to you: “You see! Everything is great! You are the best pepper on earth, and that’s why everything works out so easily for you! Young fellow! Straighten your shoulders and go!” Would you feel more confident in this case?

- Yes, it would certainly be more pleasant to communicate.

– Secondly: your expectations about how and what should happen in this or that case... This is nonsense! This is the biggest nonsense on Earth! Which, again, is constantly reinforced by your “commentator”. And if I answered the door dressed in a woman's dress, what would you do?

- I would have left immediately. I don't like these things!

- So, I would have closed my goal for myself forever. Just imagine what happens! I could be an actor, for example! In addition, we organize home performances with friends and have fun! Think about what's happening: your eyes just see the person you're looking for dressed in a woman's dress. Does this make your goal cease to exist? Then how little it takes to push you off the path. Well, let's move on. The brain simply recognizes my face, sees women's clothes. What has changed in the Universe? Nothing! But then your “commentator” comes on: “He’s either gay or transsexual. Get out of here, there will be no conversation.” Right?

– Did your “commentator” help you achieve your goal or hinder you?

- I got in the way.

- Okay, let's move on! I invite you to come in and warm up in the sauna. What do we have that is objective? I showed you kindness and respect, I suggest you take a healing and relaxing procedure! Is there anything negative about this? What did your “commentator” tell you that you looked like a red-haired girl who saw horseradish for the first time?

- Let me remember. I thought: “Normal people don’t invite strangers to the bathhouse. Maybe he’s crazy or gay?”

- So what now? Are your fears confirmed?

- Could you leave because of this?

– Did your “commentator” help you at this moment?

- Let's move on! Holey sock! He has become an almost insurmountable obstacle for you! You were about to leave! You almost left! A small hole in your sock influenced your decision and your future! Why? What did your “commentator” tell you?

- Well, something like this: “They won’t believe you that you’re going to spend fifty grand, if you have a hole in your sock, go home, maybe you’ll come back another time.”

– Who gave you the right to judge what is important to me and what is not when making a decision? Why did you even think that I would notice this? No, this does not mean that you should encourage untidiness in yourself: walking around smelling of sweat, wearing dirty and torn things, etc., simply because for

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for some it may be important, for someone who will decide whether to deal with you or not. After all, if you met a girl today and she invited you home, would that be a reason to refuse?

- Would.

- Like this. And this could be your destiny. And your “commentator” probably found more important things for you the day before yesterday than to throw laundry into the machine, and in the morning he said: “You won’t have meetings today, wear whatever you like,” and when meeting me, he drove you home, despite the fact that I absolutely don’t give a damn what kind of socks you have! I don’t even look at the boots, and buy them myself based on comfort for the feet and quality; for me, what was more important was your behavior, your reaction, and right here - you completely screwed up and almost ran away like a kid, forgetting about your goal, about what was important to you... Did your “commentator” help you?

– Remember how you commented on this: “This is not the most important question.” Classic! How many people have dreamed of traveling, flying, and creating miracles since childhood! Where is it? Every year, instead of finding ways to achieve important goals, you simply turn the knob to decrease the importance. Your “commentator” says: “It doesn’t matter! It's not very important! It doesn’t matter at all!” Did he want your best when he refused a massage for you? Did massage help you?

- But you shied away from me like the devil from incense! What was in your head, boy? Did you think again that I was trying to pester you?

– There was such a thought.

– Were you raped as a child? Or do militant homosexuals besiege you every day, trying to get behind your back? Do you consider this threat real for yourself? – Mikhail was almost laughing.

- No - to all questions.

“Then why are you refusing help?” Was the “commentator” friend in your head?

- No. But I’m still not comfortable accepting help from a stranger. Firstly, why bother him, and secondly, I don’t like to feel obligated.

- Oleg! Who are you talking about now? Whom? Is there anyone else here besides us? Some strangers?

- Well, of course, I meant you!

- So why don’t you say: “I’m not comfortable accepting help from you.” Your “commentator” thinks that telling me your thoughts directly to my face is inconvenient? He's fucking wrong again. It’s unpleasant for me when you don’t notice me, talking about some stranger! Why did you think it would bother me to give you a massage? Why are you deciding this for me? – Mikhail said the last phrase very slowly. – I like to practice for myself. Do I look like a massage therapist? You called me and don't want to pay money? I suggested it to you myself! Have you forgotten about this?

– Well, many people offer out of politeness! But they themselves don’t want it! And out of politeness it is customary to refuse!

- Oleg! Offer me a million euros out of politeness! Offer! I won't refuse! Honestly! I never refuse when they offer me what I need! And I never suggest anything that I can’t or don’t want to do. Since I started doing this, my life has changed a lot! All my friends know about this rule of mine! Do you know how easy it has become to communicate? No inconvenience. No omissions or double meanings. I offer – it means I want, I can, I’m positive? and everything will go great! I agree - it means the same thing! Isn’t it crazy to accept an invitation to go somewhere out of politeness, and then sit with a sour face and pretend that you really like everything? – Mikhail looked into Oleg’s eyes and stood up a little. – Did your “commentator” know about this? Did you know that there are such people, and I am one of them? Did he know that I was annoyed by feigned refusal rather than honest consent?

- No, I didn’t know - such simple things turned out to be... even simpler.

– And your indifferent face... Why did you decide that you look cool in my eyes if you don’t show that you liked the interior? Your voice told you: “Be indifferent, don’t be surprised by anything, don’t show that you liked it, and you’ll look like a serious, sophisticated pepper!” Look how many comments are made out of thin air! They mean nothing! They are harming you! With such a load, boy, you won't get far. Forget all your plans. They are unattainable. Accept the role of a successful loser, trying to make a good impression, but at night falling asleep with the remote control of a porn DVD. “Do what you do and you will have what you have!” - an old and very wise phrase.

– What if I don’t want to do the same thing further?! If I understand what you're talking about! If I'm ready to change it! What should I do then? – Oleg looked confused. His sincere confusion apparently made an impression on Mikhail. He no longer smiled, but looked carefully at Oleg’s face. Then he got up and went to the “window”.

- Beautiful? – Mikhail asked, pointing to the “window”.

- Yes. Very.

– Realistic?

- More than.

– For now, this is even more realistic for you than your life. Clowns are running before your eyes, changing scenery, masks, costumes, and you, joyful, clap your hands! And every day you buy a ticket to a new show. And every time the price is different - sometimes it’s money, sometimes it’s a lot of money, sometimes it’s very, very big money. Sometimes it’s the relationships that matter to you, sometimes it’s emotions, sometimes it’s health, sometimes it’s life, and always it’s time.

Mikhail took a small remote control from the shelf. I started to press it: the barking of dogs and the crowing of roosters appeared and disappeared. It became louder, then quieter. And only the cricket did not stop.

“I want you to cry,” said Mikhail, looking intently at Oleg.

- In terms of? For what? – Oleg asked, jerking in surprise.

– If you want to change something, you must understand where you are. And when you see where you are, you can’t help but cry. Because you are an empty space on the map of life. You don't know who you are, where you are going and why. You haven’t created anything in this life, you don’t have children and, most likely, you never will. You will never achieve your goals. You won't even get as rich as you want. Most likely, in a few years you will start drinking alcohol and die young. Start mourning your dissolute life now before it's too late. I understand that now you are in a stupor and shock. But come home. Take a notepad and write down everything that you have not achieved in this life. Everything you failed, everything you lost. Write down what will happen next if you continue to listen to your “commentator” further. That's when you'll have to cry. If you don't do this, don't come tomorrow. Useless.

– I understand... Okay... But you asked so many questions... About thoughts, where do they come from? So where did this “commentator” come from? If these are not my thoughts, then whose?

– These are the remains of programs recorded on your hard drive, if expressed in computer language. It’s just that in this sense, the human brain is not much different from a computer: what you write down is what you get. These programs are mostly recorded in the early years of your life, when you don't even understand what's going on. While you are completely dependent on those who feed you, clothe you and warm you. The first words that you learn to perceive are words of prohibition: “You can’t! Do not touch! Don't go! Do not take!" They are pronounced deliberately loudly and sharply. Most prohibitions are really aimed at saving your life!

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That's why you trust them completely. If they said: you can’t, but you climbed into the iron, it will burn you, and if you go into the socket, you will get an electric shock. You completely trust those who teach you, feed you and say these words. And it is very difficult, believe me, almost impossible, to erase these “track grooves” with the “mosquito legs” of subsequent reasoning, conclusions, smart books, films, educations.

– So if “impossible”, what can we talk about?

“Notice I said “virtually impossible,” although your brain doesn’t care about that right now.” He is looking for familiar words. By the way, the word “impossible” is one of the strongest shackles in your life. As a rule, all children know what exactly is impossible to do, because they were taught that way. Because that's how they lived. Because they are used to it. This is how their program is written. You know, when I was in Thailand, I stayed in a village where elephants have been trained since ancient times. By the way, I still don’t understand how they teach them to play football and throw darts, but what struck me most of all was something else... Tell me, can an elephant pull out a stick stuck in the ground by a person, a peg to which it is tied?

- Of course it can! Stupid question!

- A stupid question for someone who knows something more than that very elephant. So, I was surprised that several elephants were tied to pegs stuck in the ground. It was wood chips! Chips compared to the logs they could move! But the elephant! He didn't even try. I just walked around! I asked the Thai - why? It turns out that he was tied to this stick when he was still a little elephant and really couldn’t pull it out! And he got used to this peg and this place! He doesn't even try! For him it is “impossible”! And this is not “as if it were so,” it really is! As long as “impossible” is in your head, nothing will happen!

Oleg wrapped himself tighter in his robe. Goosebumps ran down his spine. It was as if he physically felt the pegs with which he was tied to his daily thoughts and actions. His world was so clearly defined that sometimes he even asked himself the question from the movie “The 13th Floor”: “Is there something behind this fence?” He hired identical people with familiar “cockroaches” and characters. He made plans based on past experience, formed his first opinion about people based on which of the people he already knew or at least movie characters they resembled. I went to the same stores and restaurants, preferred the same clothing companies. Crap! Here they are too - these pegs - discount cards of these establishments and the smiles of familiar sellers...

Mikhail sat down next to him.

– I understand what you are thinking. You will still have time. And I know what you want to know. Who drives these pegs, and is it possible to do without them? I want to make the analogy even clearer. As a child, your parents drive the pegs for you. On what basis? So that the place is safe and can feed you. How are they looking for him? Often this place was shown to their parents, and then to them... and so on. For example, “you must find a good job and hold on to it all your life”, “women need to be kept strict and constantly monitored”, or “all men only think about how to jump to the left”... You will look for these pegs and confirmation everywhere these words. If the clearing is fairly open and there is enough grass on it that has time to grow and feed you, you won’t even look for another clearing. If the food runs out, you may even die. Again, if your parents didn’t tell you, “if the food runs out, look for another clearing.” At the same time, there may be fields with selected wheat a hundred meters away, but you will not go there. They didn’t tell you about this, and they didn’t teach you to ask. Believe me, you will always eat the same grass that your fathers and grandfathers ate... There are few ways to drive you away from this clearing. One of them is “Journey”. But you can go into it only if I understand that you are ready to tear out the old pegs, around which the whole earth has already been trampled by you.

Got dressed. Came out. I said goodbye to Mikhail. I opened the car. Warmed it up. Turned on the music. Started moving. The navigator showed with an arrow the place where his goal was located - the house. The mysterious Stone Island, which keeps the secrets of its unknown owners, quickly disappeared into the rearview mirrors. Familiar landscapes, as if recorded on film, flashed outside the window. Parking. A nod to the watchman and the duty “good night!” Two hundred and fifty-two steps to the entrance and three floors on foot. Turn the key. Light with your right hand. Boots. Closet. Table. Pen. Notebook.

“In the morning I was sure that everything was fine with me. Good business. Quite enough money. There is an opportunity to relax in exotic countries. Friends. Memories of past love and hope for the future... The world has dimmed. Crap. Rave. I haven’t written anything in a notebook... probably since university. I am writing because I found something important. I haven't moved... I haven't moved for several years. Everything important that happened in my life happened a long time ago. Now I'm just reaping the benefits of my previous victories. Although it's probably too early.

Objectively speaking... Business income is getting smaller every month, and expenses are growing. The project with foreigners is stuck. Katya left me. And I understand that I just became boring for her. I pretend that I want to find a new, true love, but in reality I am afraid. I'm afraid to be disappointed again. I’m afraid of the passing of those moments when you want to prolong every moment of communication with your loved one forever, when every new “yes” is so exciting and you want to hear the next one. But when all the “yes” have already been said, all that remains is to come up with new “nos” in order to overcome them together. And time - suddenly there is so much of it that you have to find more and more new ways to kill it... When they run out or get boring, time begins to kill you...

Is it really supposed to be like this? This scenario has been swirling around in me since I was fifteen. Each new turn becomes more and more sophisticated, but the ending is the same - boredom.

And to be honest, I don’t even want to fall in love and love. Yes, I am boring to myself. Nothing new is happening in my life. Another round of work. Nothing has changed, essentially, since I worked as a tracker. Then there was a small, dirty office, a small salary, work from dusk to dawn. When he left for freedom, he dreamed of freedom. I got a clean office, a bigger salary and work from dawn to dusk. I dreamed of starting my own business and finally becoming free. And now, the dream has come true. Bigger office. Significantly higher salary. Work again from dusk to dawn, and then again from dawn to dusk. When necessary - even on weekends. You can't quit your business. Now I am responsible for him tenfold. Also for your employees. Everyone, as expected, pretends to be as loyal as a dog, but in reality they are looking for opportunities to do less and get more.

The word “freedom” now means that no one will ask why I came to work late, and yesterday I was not at all. True, no one will forget to ask about their salary. And tomorrow, if something happens to me - an illness or an accident - the money will not last long. So I wake up at night in some nightmare where I failed or my cleaning lady became my boss. And the huge state apparatus, which feeds on my taxes, periodically strikes and sees whether I will stand up or not. And this tense anticipation of the next check, when you know that everyone

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the one who comes is guided by the principle “if only he were a good person, there would be a problem,” and with the sole purpose of making money for his freedom. And no one cares how many sleepless nights you spent raising this brainchild, how much money you invested, how many nerves you killed, beating doorsteps and making connections. Everyone strives to get into your pocket and free it from as much money as possible. And every second person thinks that you are a huckster and a grabber and have stolen your millions, and if a revolution starts tomorrow, they will dispossess you and let you go around the world.

If you can’t relax even on vacation, and after returning for another week you keep an eye on whether a revolution has been carried out in your absence. Is this freedom?

My mother continues to drink too much and I can't do anything about it. I rarely visit her and rarely call her. I'm just scared. It's scary to see a loved one in such a state. When I see her with glassy eyes, dirty hair, clothes stained with dirt and blood, and a cigarette in her mouth, it seems to me that this is not her. It was the devil who possessed her. I want to kill this devil, but instead I yell at her, grab her by the arms, and shake her like a pear. She babbles back with excuses and promises, but never follows through. I get angry and slam the door. Then the tears choke me. I love her, but I can't say it. I'm waiting for her to come to her senses. It happens. Sometimes. These days she is making plans for the future. Gives promises and hope. And then everything again. And every time she looks worse and worse. Each binge ages her by several months, maybe even years. I can’t do anything about it and, in impotent anger, I’m rude to her.

Why does this happen every day? What programs are stored in my head? Mikhail told me to think about what internal conversations and comments of mine lead to this? I'll try.

On business: “Everything is fine with me. Why try?”, “It’s not that important”, “There are those who are even worse off”, “The main thing is that there is cheese in the refrigerator”, “My employees don’t want to work”, “In order to control the business, you can’t trust no one, you have to work harder than anyone else”, “I’m on the battlefield alone with everyone, and my task is to always win”, “Foreigners are very difficult, and I’m not ready for it yet.”

Katya: “It’s all her fault, she didn’t want to understand me and didn’t want to share my interests”, “She didn’t try to get me back”, “I won’t run after her”, “Separated - that means it’s fate”, “I’ll find and better”, “She is not my person, when I find mine, everything will be different.”

Mother: “No one is forcing her to drink”, “I have already done everything I could”, “She can no longer be saved, but I still have to live”, “My indifference should sober her up, because I am dear to her”, “Pity for a person you won’t help.”

I cannot assess whether these settings are correct or not. Although no, I can. Based on the results of your life. There is no contract. Katya left. The mother continues to drink. What happens if I continue to act on these internal conversations? The business will be consumed by costs, I will remain an eternal bachelor and die alone, my mother will get drunk and die, and so will I.

What should I do? I do not want it so! Don't want! I want to change everything! But how to do that? There must be a way out! Why don't I know him? What have I done wrong before God? I lived most of my life in constant fear! Fear for the life of your mother, fear of being hungry, fear of being worse than others! I have suffered enough and fought for my happiness! Nobody gave it to me! I gnawed the ground! I denied myself a lot! Why now, when it seems to me that I should enjoy the results of my labor, am I sitting alone, in an empty apartment, and I have no one to even call? The closest and dearest person - my mother, for the sake of whose approval and admiration I tried, now if she calls me, it will only be with a request to come and save her, to buy another bottle.

I remember how you loved me! Why is everything like this???”

Oleg suddenly realized that his nails were biting into the pads of his palms almost until they bled, and his jaws clenched as if he were trying to hold on to an invisible thread on which his whole life hung. Just like in those distant days of childhood, when his father extorted another “ruble for a bottle” from his mother, and he sat in his room and cried because he could not go out and could not help in any way.

Tears plunged everything around into an aquarium, and the thought throbbed in my head: “Why does my life mean more to a person I barely know than to all my loved ones? Why does he fight for my life and understand it more than I do? I don't give a damn about this trip! Becoming his friend is already worth those fifty thousand!”

Tears continued to flow from his eyes, and he did not try to stop the flow. He was used to this happening to him from time to time, but he only cried so hard when he was a child. From time to time, even sentimental moments from films brought him to tears. He was very ashamed of this, but he could not do anything. This happened even in the cinema. “My nerves are frayed to hell - that’s the reason for my sentimentality. We must learn to distance ourselves from events so that emotions do not take over. The main thing is that no one ever sees this, otherwise they will laugh.” It has become increasingly easier to appear like a concrete macho in recent years. The role was rehearsed daily and did not let go of him even at a party. He even exaggerated his cynicism and pragmatism. Periodically fell into arrogance with people below him in status. “I have the right to behave this way. I achieved everything on my own. Nobody helped me. Nobody felt sorry for me."

No one probably had any idea that from time to time, when alone with himself, he could barely hold back tears while watching “The Green Mile” or remembering something from his childhood. He became just like a child. Only without the warm hands of a mother who could hug her close and hide her from resentment.

The head was splitting, as if all the blood from the body was concentrated only under the skull and was trying to break out. At the same time, he felt enormous relief. It was as if he had just scolded a stranger, having seen from the outside what he was doing, and knew exactly what he needed to say in order to change everything in his life. OK. The morning is wiser than the evening.

The Chimpanzee's Way

There is nothing scarier than waking up to an alarm clock. This sound makes you feel a racing heart, fear and panic at the same time. Let it be for a moment. Until you realized what happened. Probably a child experiences the same emotions at birth, only for much longer. And it doesn’t matter what sound this alarm clock has: the crackling sound of iron bells or your favorite melody on your mobile phone. He breaks into your brain and says: “I don’t care what you feel now, what you want, what you saw in your dream, whether you got enough sleep or not, you have to get up.”

Probably the only way to alleviate the situation is to produce disposable alarm clocks, which can be immediately thrown against a reinforced concrete wall specially prepared for this purpose.

Oleg did not have such an alarm clock. It was a pity to break his mobile phone, so he simply put it on vibration mode. Oleg opened his eyes to the ominous grinding of his cell phone on the nightstand.

Last night was not a dream. Confirmation of this was the open notebook lying on the table.

“How am I different from my employees if I also flinch at the sound of an alarm clock, and also don’t want to get out of bed and go to work?

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Probably only because I can’t help but go, citing illness or my sister’s wedding. No one will do my business for me.”

This time of year is especially unpleasant to wake up to. It's dark outside the window. All nature is still sleeping. Humanity separated from nature with the invention of the light bulb. The light bulb replaced the sun. The light bulb replaced the day. The light bulb overcame darkness - the enemy before which humanity has trembled for thousands of years.

Considering our long winter, when you have to leave the house before sunrise and return after sunset, sometimes you get the feeling that the sun is an archaism. It is as unreal as the myths of Ancient Greece. At least, the god riding on a chariot was a more real figure for the ancient Greeks than the star of the solar system, which provides light and warmth for the modern inhabitant of our northern latitudes.

Light bulbs come on, the TV starts talking, scrambled eggs gurgle in a frying pan - and it’s not so empty and lonely anymore. Smiling presenters, current topics, news, advertising. Why are people still looking for happiness? After all, it has long been clear what it is! The advertisement has all the answers! Happiness is drinking yoghurt, eating chocolate, driving a car, washing your hair with that same shampoo, smearing yourself with that deodorant, doing laundry with that same powder, washing the stove with that same product and the dishes with another, smothering yourself with that eau de toilette, eating noodles...

The only problem with happiness is that these money-hungry TV channels advertise everything! How can a poor person figure it out? No happiness? I must have shaved with the wrong razor! No love? You're using the wrong deodorant! No success? Buy that same car on credit! And everything will be! The problem with finding happiness is just finding the right product! Seek and it will be given to you!

“Where do I get this irritation and sarcasm?” – thought Oleg. There was a feeling that he had become more sensitive to what was happening. The alarm clock seemed to have woken him up for real. Usually, as they say, “they woke you up, but forgot to wake you up,” but today everything is somehow different. It felt like a plastic bag had been removed from my head. The colors have become brighter, the contours are clearer, and it turns out that meaning can be found in words.

Yesterday's meeting couldn't get out of my head. Mikhail didn’t seem to say anything new. There was just a feeling that he said this to the one who in him, Oleg, was deciding and thinking about something. It seems like nonsense, but there’s no other way to explain it. On the other hand, how can you explain all the dissonances in yourself? When you understand with your head that you are doing wrong, but you do it anyway, when you promise to start on Monday - and you don’t start, when you say to yourself, and not only to yourself: “Never again!” - and five minutes later - all over again, when you dreamed of a Bentley, and you ride on a tram, when you say - I don’t like it, but you yourself can’t forget?.. How else can you explain this? Something in you strives for success and new goals, and something makes you buy a bottle of beer and fall in front of the TV.

“What determines what the result will be? – Oleg thought, frying eggs. - So I wanted bacon and eggs. I cut up the bacon, threw it into the frying pan, and cracked the eggs lightly so that the yolk didn't run. In three minutes there will be a result - scrambled eggs, which I will eat. Simple as that! How does this depend on my internal conversations with the “commentator”? A million people now make scrambled eggs the same way. (Oleg vividly imagined this picture - people standing near the stove.) What does the result depend on? From the right ingredients and the right actions. But only!"

Putting the scrambled eggs on a plate, taking a fork, Oleg put a hot piece into his mouth. Tasty! Okay, stop! That's where the problem lies! It tastes good to me, but not to others. Some people like it without salt, others like it well-done. Like it or not. Tasty - tasteless. This is where the “commentator” comes in. There is no objective criterion here! Thais eat fried cockroaches like sunflower seeds, I would - puke! There is an objective criterion - scrambled eggs, and there are subjective ones: ready - not ready, like it or not. And they depend only on my “commentator”! And no matter how much we argue with foam at the mouth, it is useless. There is no arguing about tastes – it’s as old as time. But I remember that as a child I hated mayonnaise; the smell of mustard or horseradish made me sick. And now I eat with jellied meat for my dear soul. By the way, I didn’t like jellied meat either.

Okay, what else?

But I could not have done it at all - I would have been lazy... no eggs, I decided to do something else... Solution?! Yes! Solution. Laziness means I decided that scrambled eggs are not so important for me, lying in a chair is more important. No eggs means that yesterday I didn’t decide for myself that this would be important to me today, I preferred to buy beer or not go to the store at all. What determines whether I went to the store yesterday or not? From the importance of the final result for me! If the result is important, I would find the time and opportunity to buy eggs. It seems that this is how lovers fulfill each other’s whims. What seemed like a whim before becomes vitally important at the moment! Roses at two in the morning, pizza instead of breakfast, coming to the other end of town or to another city. There is no discrepancy between what you want and what you do!

Thought – word – deed – one line, I think that’s what Mikhail said. There are no internal conversations about what and why, no search for favorable opportunities, obstacles and options for the development of events. There is only one option - result! – the last piece of scrambled eggs disappeared in my mouth. If only business were that easy. Or maybe it is, I just don’t know about it? Is the answer to this question worth fifty “pieces”?

Oleg went to the safe, entered the password, and put his finger on the scanner. The engine whirred and opened its insides. Here they are, the shelves of success. Stacks of five hundred euro bills, several packs of hundred dollar bills. Oleg took five packs of euros in his hand. Oleg always liked the pleasant heaviness and cleanliness of these pieces of paper. And also their brevity. Oleg put one pack in his briefcase and put the rest back.

Putting on yesterday’s shirt (he had already run out of clean ones), Oleg pulled out a shelf with socks from the closet. There were all sorts of them! It remains to find two similar ones. The task is not easy. For some reason, in the box they are all the same, like chameleons taking on the color of their surroundings, but on the legs the nuances are immediately visible. He didn't start the laundry yesterday. “Yeah, these are more or less similar!” The socks were the same color, but slightly different lengths. “Wearing something like this is not a shame even for a girl!” – he smiled to himself.

Putting on his favorite tie, suit and coat, Oleg left the house. The weather was the same as yesterday. “How strange for Peter!”

On the way to the parking lot I met a neighbor in the stairwell - a hefty fellow, Ivan, with a hefty Rottweiler named Jackie. Oleg had never seen such healthy Rottweilers either before or after Jackie. “Dogs really do look like their owners!”

- Great!

- Good morning!

Oleg did not communicate much with his neighbors. I tried to maintain friendly neutrality: let's live together, but without excessive zeal! This suited him quite well. Walking past the guard's booth, he automatically raised his right hand and nodded his head. He knew that the guard would respond in the same way.

The key is in your hand. Flashing lights. Ignition. Shaking off the snow with a brush, Oleg mentally imagined today's meeting. And even more, he imagined what would happen after her. The knowledge that he could afford a trip for that kind of money filled him with glee. And how many impressions there will be! It will be necessary to arrange

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then a party with friends, let them envy you!

Oleg lived on Petrogradka, not far from work, but he had to go through several traffic jams, so the journey took about forty minutes in the morning. Without traffic jams - five, and on foot - twenty. It was a pleasure to drive. Yesterday's shake-up brought something new and peppery. Life acquired some variety and, moreover, promised to become even more interesting.

Oleg turned on the radio. The cheerful, carefree voices of the presenters always had a beneficial effect on him. “And now we have a call to the studio again! Hello! Hello! Hello! Speak! The bell rang, and now the next one…” This situation was typical for radio stations, but in the light of yesterday’s conversation and his morning thoughts it gave another clue to the question of the result. Here a person dialed a number, probably not the first time, if from a mobile phone or from another city, he probably spent money, and now he is at his cherished goal, he has almost achieved it and at the last second... he refused. It's as if he made himself scrambled eggs and didn't eat them. How often do we do this! We will do ninety-nine percent of the effort, but the last percent is not given! We've already done everything, we're tired. We spent our nerves and energy, but still no results! “Well, screw him!” And we start spending ninety-nine percent on the next thing. But the result is only one hundred percent! And if several times, having spent energy, we do not get the desired result, we begin to think that we are losers. Over time, we stop trying altogether. Why try? What if everything is useless?!

The glass doors of the entrance to the business center obediently opened in front of him. The politely indifferent faces of the guards. "Businessman's Breakfast" on RBC. Oleg decided to walk up the stairs to the office. He liked the “extra physical activity.” In addition, on the stairs you could admire the delights of the designer who designed it. Compositions of dried flowers, paintings on the walls.

– Hello, Oleg Yuryevich! – the voice of Lisa, another of his employees, called out to him. She was standing by the elevator. Jeans, greenish-gray blouse. Highlighted straight hair. Minimum cosmetics. Always a slightly mocking expression on his face.

– I didn’t even have time to come to work, are we already running to smoke?

- Well, Oleg Yurich, I haven’t smoked since this morning! My brain doesn’t turn on without a cigarette. You don’t want me to sit with my brain turned off in the office, do you?

- Okay, come on more quickly and get into work.

The last words were probably cut off by the closing elevator doors. Oleg sometimes liked to pretend to be a strict father-boss. Opening the office door, I saw Ksyusha staring at the monitor. There were wrinkles of tension on her forehead, and a cup of coffee froze in her hand.

- Good morning, Ksyusha!

– Good morning, Oleg Yurievich! – Ksenia’s face immediately transformed into a satisfied and smiling one.

– Are you all right?

- Yes Yes! Everything is fine! Certainly! – The duty smile looked like a real one. Certainly. He was specifically looking for one like this. Who cares about the secretary's problems?! But her face should lift the mood of clients. Although for some reason now this masquerade upset him. He even decided to be even more involved.

– Are you sure you’re okay?

- Yes, I’m telling you, everything is fine!

Oleg was about to pass by, but he turned around for a second and asked, looking into her eyes.

– Then why don’t I believe you, Ksyusha?

The smile on Ksenia’s face transformed into a questioning grimace. Oleg had never seen her like this before.

– Probably because you don’t really care! – Ksenia said with tension, and then, as if having come to her senses, she again “put on” the smiling mask. – That is, I wanted to say, why should you burden yourself with other people’s problems?

– Who told you that you would burden me if you told me about them? Why do you decide for me? – Oleg suddenly blurted out to himself. He caught himself thinking that he was beginning to speak in Mikhail’s phrases. "Crap! It’s hooked!” – he thought, and said out loud:

- You know, Ksyusha. Here I am once again convinced that problems that are insoluble for some people are quite easily solved by others. So, if you decide to chat about this, come in. Yes, and make me some bergamot tea! - Oleg said, heading towards his office.

While sorting out papers, checking mail and drinking tea, Oleg glanced at his watch. He couldn’t wait to quickly return to the “Pesh” office, as he mentally called it, in order to finally find out exactly what awaited him.

He was periodically interrupted by phone calls or visiting employees. After each distraction, he had to concentrate again for a few minutes. This irritated him, but he had long since come to terms with this situation: “I’m the director. It's nothing you can do. I have to listen to everyone." Oleg immediately caught himself thinking: “And here is the familiar voice of the “commentator”! I'll try to figure it out objectively. I'm a director - that's a fact. “Nothing can be done” is bullshit. Surely there is a way out. I just didn't look for it. “I must listen to everyone immediately” doesn’t work either. There is no word “immediately” in my job description. Surely there is a way out, you just have to look for it. For example, you can determine a couple of periods of time a day when I cannot be disturbed, and announce this to everyone. In general, it’s decided...”

Oleg tried not to think about the upcoming meeting at the PSh office. Firstly, it interfered with work. Secondly, he was simply afraid to change his mind. After all, if you think logically, all this is somehow wrong. On an emotional level, he felt confusion mixed with elation. Confusion from so much news and discoveries about yourself and from the unusual price of the tour, and elation due to rosy ideas about the upcoming journey. This obviously won't be something trivial. This will probably not only be remembered for the rest of your life, but will also change your whole life.

And the preparation! Just communicating with Mikhail is worth it! He imagined himself as a kind of student of an elderly kung fu master who was about to receive secret knowledge of how to fly in the air.

Having resolved work issues, Oleg prepared to leave the office. It was already half past two, and there was just half an hour left to leisurely walk to the travel agency office. Oleg changed his office shoes to street ones (after all, he would have to walk) and picked up his briefcase. He opened it and looked into the compartment with the money. They, of course, lay in place, but he liked to periodically make sure of this. You never know...

They knocked on the door and, without waiting for an answer, opened it. Ksenia stood on the threshold. She looked very upset.

- Oleg Yuryevich! Are you leaving? So you're in a hurry?

- No, but what? - he said, although he immediately caught himself thinking that he was lying. It was a habit.

– Do you have five minutes?

– Actually, I’m leaving, but I’ll find five minutes. And what happened?

– I want to write a letter of resignation.

- What's the matter? – The news surprised Oleg. He was already so used to smiling Ksenia that he suddenly realized that finding a second one like that would be very... not quick. Again these recruitment agencies. Crowds of applicants. – What doesn’t suit you, Ksenia?

-Can I sit down?

- Yes, sure.

Oleg also sat down at his table. “Damn, five minutes definitely won’t do it. Okay, I'll be a little late. Not scary. “I’m bringing them money,” my thoughts ran through.

- Oleg Yuryevich! I feel like I have stopped developing. Same job. Nothing new. Nothing educational. I want to move somewhere!

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Something to learn! With my current specialty, I can hardly count on professional growth in the company... and especially financial.

Ksenia always spoke very correctly and beautifully - good diction, correct intonation. She had some kind of higher education. Oleg himself did not understand why she worked as a secretary, but he was very proud of it and sometimes, in order to emphasize the high professional level of the company, he half-jokingly told his clients: “Yes, I even have a secretary with a higher education!” Moreover, she was not a yesterday’s graduate who simply needed to gain a foothold somewhere to begin with. There are plenty of them! She was already approaching thirty. She answered the phone very professionally and beautifully, even in English.

You realize the significance of something familiar only when you lose it or the threat of loss looms.

- Ksenia! What are you doing! You are our best employee! You've been working for the company for so many years! We appreciate you so much! Especially me! – Oleg smiled as widely as possible. – And about development... Let's come up with something! Do you want us to send you to some courses? At the expense of the company.

– What courses, Oleg Yurievich? Secretary-financier? Or maybe I should enroll in law school as a part-time student? In just six years I can look forward to being a junior lawyer!

- Listen... Well, if you want, learn a second language... French, for example! We will pay!

- Why do I need him? I can't even afford to go to this France!

- So allow yourself, Ksenia! - Oleg suddenly burst out. He suddenly felt like he was in Mikhail's shoes. He liked it. He leaned back in his chair and smiled.

- Ksenia! Listen to yourself! You say, "I can't afford it." Are these your words? Maybe this is the reason? Maybe you just need to “allow” yourself and that’s it!

Oleg looked meaningfully at Ksenia. He really wanted her to start looking for the answer within herself. Like him yesterday. Ksenia’s face showed either surprise or fear. She didn’t understand why Oleg was smiling so much and why he was asking some strange questions.

- Oleg Yuryevich! You understand what I'm talking about, right? – Ksenia’s voice acquired the intonation of an offended child.

- I hear what you're talking about! And, in my opinion, I’m even telling it to you word for word! Is not it?

- Fine! I will say differently: my financial capabilities do not allow me to make such voyages!

- Oh, the opportunities don’t allow you! In my opinion, there is something wrong here too! Opportunities are just what allow you to do something. And even if we omit the madness of this verbal construction, hear yourself, Ksenia! You shift the question of solving the problem to some abstract concepts, and not to yourself! Let's do it this way. You are a valuable good employee of the company. I've known you for many years and I enjoy working with you. – Oleg paused. “I wouldn’t want to look for another employee to take your place.” I'm interested in you continuing to work. Can I do something, help you with something, so that you stay?

Having made this speech, Oleg was very pleased with himself. He explained everything clearly and said everything honestly. And besides, I hoped that Ksenia would draw some conclusions for herself.

- Oleg Yuryevich! Are you kidding me? – Ksenia suddenly said, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips. – I think I explained everything clearly! Excuse me, please! I will come back later. With a statement.

Ksenia stood up and left the office.

"Crap! That's ten minutes of reserve gone! And in vain! I chewed everything several times! And he made it clear that she was a great employee and that he was ready to listen to her proposal! What strange thing have I done? Am I the only one picking up on something new? And is it really so difficult to switch to simply expressing your thoughts in your own words? Of course, she wanted me to guess and ask: “Ksenia, shouldn’t you increase your salary?” And I wanted her to say it herself! And her request could be granted! Damn, it's kind of a shame. I did everything honestly! Open and direct! And it feels like he violated her in a perverted form!” – Oleg said to himself, getting dressed and leaving the office.

Having left the courtyard of the business center, Oleg moved quickly towards the PSh office. It was already five minutes to two. He walked through the yards. He was worried about why it is still difficult for people to switch to the language of words that express meaning, from the language of speculation. A strange picture caught his eye. A very short woman janitor, no more than one and a half meters tall, leaned over a large trash can standing at the exit of the store and screamed furiously into its cylindrical interior. The woman was clearly a migrant worker, because she did not scream in Russian. At the same time, she continued to carry out some manipulations with this tank, moving it from side to side. Moreover, based on the emotionality of her dialogue, and it was just a dialogue, one got the complete impression that there was someone there who was answering her. It was incredible, because the size of the urn would have hidden only a cat there. Oleg slowed down and, passing by, tried to see who she was talking to there. The rest of the passers-by did much the same, but when they saw no one inside, they smiled slightly and shrugged their shoulders.

Oleg found an old ATM receipt in his pocket and deliberately walked closer to the culprit of the commotion. Throwing the check into the ballot box, he noticed that there was no smell of madness here. She screamed into her phone's Bluetooth, which was located behind her ear, which was pointed at the wall and therefore was not visible to passers-by from the road. The woman clearly did not pay attention to anyone and continued to argue fiercely. Oleg smiled. “How strange, but we are already quite accustomed to people who walk along the streets and create the impression of crazy people, talking as if to themselves, gesticulating vigorously and nodding their heads.” This same incident, like a theater of the absurd, demonstrated how absurd this was. Sometimes someone starts talking loudly in line at a bank or in a store. And it's almost always funny. All people generally try to show themselves as little as possible in public places. They speak in a low voice, trying to blend in with the area, to be unnoticed and aloof. And suddenly: “Yes! I told you I'd be late! Okay, I'll buy it! Let's! Yeah!” Then, having left the line, the person seems to go out again, trying to become even more invisible.

Oleg remembered a recent incident that also surprised and made him laugh. Entering the toilet of the business center and heading towards the urinal, he suddenly heard the voice of his employee Evgeniy behind the partition: “Yes, yes! Step! Fine! Great! Yes! Let's! Let's! Well, that's it! I can not!" At the same time, the clanging of a trouser belt buckle was clearly heard. Stepan is a rather rare name. That was the name of another one of their employees, who just today said he was sick and promised to come later. For about five seconds Oleg was in a difficult position. Evgeniy seemed to have never been noticed for orientation deviations. Yes, and Stepan. And then... Oleg began to listen more carefully and could barely contain his laughter when he heard the beeping of the telephone keypad...

The funny pictures lifted Oleg's spirits and helped him walk to the travel agency office, smiling.

With a habitual gesture, Oleg pulled the door towards himself. The door didn't open. Oleg began to look for the call, pressing his briefcase closer to himself. There was no call. Oleg knocked with his hand, then with his foot.

The door opened slightly. Elena met him on the threshold. In a gray woolen dress and wooden

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beads. She smiled formally and asked:

- Hello! Can I help you?

- Hello, Elena! You do not remember me? I'm Oleg! I came yesterday! Today we agreed that Mikhail... Evgenievich will come and give a recommendation...

- You're late, Oleg! Best wishes! - Elena said dryly and formally, as if he had come to ask her for money.

Oleg shifted the briefcase to his other hand and looked at his watch.

- Fourteen zero seven!

– Mikhail Evgenievich left at fourteen zero one!

- Why? Even fifteen minutes late for a business meeting is forgiven! After all, anything can happen!

– All the best, Oleg! – Elena retorted just as calmly and reached for the door to close it.

Oleg automatically put his foot up. The high spirits were blown away by the cold February wind.

- Listen! I didn't come to chat! I have money with me! I don't want to carry them around with me down the street!

- Wonderful! Maybe if they hit you on the head on the way and take away your money, it will stop you from being late!

“No shit - jokes!” I really didn’t want to carry money with me, so Oleg made another try.

– Mikhail Evgenievich didn’t say that he was vouching for me?

“He was going to vouch for you if you came on time.” But you didn't come!

- I came!

- At another time!

Powerless anger gripped Oleg. What do they allow themselves! We've gone completely crazy! They throw money and clients around like garbage!

– I doubt I’ll want to come here a second time! Nonsense! Mikhail told you that he was going to vouch for me. I'm here. Money with me. Passport too. Is this not enough for you to sell a ticket?

– Mikhail said that you seem to be a lawyer?

– I’m not “sort of a lawyer”, but a lawyer.

– So, consider that the presence of the guarantor at the meeting, as well as its time, are mandatory conditions of the contract. Now it is clear? I don’t dare detain you any longer! – Elena decisively closed the door in Oleg’s face.

He had not felt such shame for a long time! He was put out on the street like a boy! Holy shit! Show-offs are worth more than money! The clenched jaw confirmed that he was very, very upset and angry. "Well, okay! Screw them! I’ll save money!” For a second he felt better. “Everything that is done is for the better!” The last thought sounded somewhat disappointing. As if not in his voice. Mikhail repeated this phrase yesterday, in my opinion. Yes, exactly... quoting the words of losers. “Uhhhh, damn!” - Oleg burst out. And with all his might he cracked the drainpipe he was passing by at that second.

Instinctively, Oleg squeezed the briefcase in his right hand tighter. He was about to turn into the passage yard, but changed his mind and took a detour. Along the streets. “What if they set this up on purpose? To pull my money?! True, they knew that I would come with money. They set it up that now I’m walking alone down the street with them!” Oleg turned around. About twenty meters behind him were two teenagers, dressed rather poorly. For some reason he didn't want to have his back to them. An animal chill ran down my spine. We need to do something! Don't wait until they stab me with a knife. He stopped at a cafe he was passing by and quickly entered it. Through the window he saw that the guys also approached the door, but did not enter. They stamped their feet and moved on.

"OK. We need to calm down and do something. I’ll order coffee in the meantime.” Oleg sat down at a table from which he could see both the entrance and the window onto the street. “Walking is dangerous. Maybe I'm paranoid, of course, but I don't want to risk it! Crap! All because of my stupid habit, when asked if I have five minutes, I always say “yes”! Came out on time! Now I hang around with these “grandmothers” like a sucker! If I go on foot... who knows. We need to call a taxi." Oleg did not notice that the waitress had been standing next to the menu for half a minute.

- Coffee please!

- Coffee. Anything else?

- Sedative!

- In terms of? We don't have this on the menu. Sorry!

– Then just coffee!

Putting his briefcase next to him, Oleg took out his cell phone. I dialed the taxi number. He named the departure and arrival addresses. “Wait a second... So it’s very close!” – the dispatcher enlightened him. - “Yes, I always take a taxi for bread. Habit. Are you coming or not? - "Yes, sure. In twenty minutes. You still have time to drink a cup of coffee.” - "Yes. Already". - “I’m writing down your contact number...”

The cafe was absolutely average. "Pay and fly." Nothing to catch your eye on. And there is no need. Coffee appeared. One robusta. Bitterness on the tongue. “Can I have some cream?!” Are they hot? - “We have it in the package. Sorry". A round jar of cream appeared on the table. “Where is the taxi?”

The door creaked and a crowd of students poured into the cafe. Apparently, the pairs have run out. We sat down not far from him. Effeminate guys. Masculine girls. Totally unisex. And everyone smokes. Oleg hated the smell of cigarette smoke and smoking students, especially female students. “When I was young, only children from disadvantaged families smoked. I wonder if it’s the other way around now?” The students joked with each other and laughed loudly. Several mugs of beer appeared on their table. “Where are we going? We need to get out of here quickly before the drunken orgies start.” Oleg felt irritation growing inside. And, to be honest, it wasn’t even about the students. He allowed himself to get too carried away by a topic he didn't even really know. “Just think - a trip! And with such an attitude towards clients! Yes, they should have carried me to death for that kind of money. And here - you bring money, and you are turned away from the gate. And as if that’s how it should be!”

- Young woman! May I get the bill?

– Would you like anything else?

- Well, maybe your smile!

The girl smiled with all thirty-two teeth. The phone on the table vibrated. As was his habit before the meeting, he turned off the sound.

"Hello. The car has been delivered. Burgundy “Sonata”.

Oleg paid, put on his coat and left the cafe. He saw the car through the window. He looked left and right. There were no suspicious characters around. Those two also disappeared. "OK. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

The taxi driver tried to make a larger circle, apparently so that he had the moral right to take money from the client. Despite this, they reached the office in five minutes, taking into account traffic jams. The car stopped right at the gate of the business center. Oleg left. It was starting to get dark outside again.

He went up to his office. He passed by Ksenia, proudly sitting in her place. I sat down at my desk. Turned on the laptop. Having pressed the selector button, he asked Ksenia that no one should disturb him. Then he asked for green tea.

He glanced around the office environment. There is nothing to grab onto. My soul felt lousy and disgusting. He felt like a cockroach that had just been almost crushed by a slipper. Like the cockroach, he did not understand what exactly was wrong, but he realized that for some reason he had just had to run. This misunderstanding, this burden of understatement, unfinished business, weighed heavily on him. Straight to the heart.

Oleg decided to sort out the papers and began moving them from place to place. Peering at the return addresses of the envelopes, the texts of the letters, running through them with his eyes, he tried to read them and pulled himself into the work, but in vain. He, like a dyslexic patient, could not associate the shapes of letters with some concepts and sounds.

“I need to call someone.” When it happened in his life that he lost his bearings and found himself in some kind of swamp, phone calls helped him a lot. He called

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friends, and they seemed to “tie” him to reality: they “told” him about where he was, what he should do and who he was. It was as if they were giving him a map of the area and a compass. They gave him back a sense of self-worth and filled his life with meaning. He tried to speak to his friends in a cheerful and strong voice, and indeed, cheerfulness and strength returned to him.

Another way to cope with stress was to list tasks on the computer. It was always clear what he still needed to do today. The tasks for the day crossed off on the list indicated that everything was fine and that you could relax. If I could find a task now that involved calling a friend, he would kill two birds with one stone. And this task was found: “Deal with Ermilov’s check.”

Evgeny Ermilov owned a small printing company, Eugenics. Recently, the district OBEP came to see him, took away all his documents, took away his computer, and he could not work normally for several days. Zhenya sent him a copy of the request that the cops left and asked him to help figure it out. The paper was poorly written. It could be challenged, written a complaint to the prosecutor, filed a lawsuit, etc. All this could be done by any competent lawyer. But a good lawyer differed from a competent one in that he could foresee possible undesirable consequences for the client. In this case, these are months-long proceedings, a wave of checks and possible frame-ups on the part of the gray-red half of humanity. “Grey with anger and red with blood,” as he liked to joke. Evgeniy’s enterprise was not a city-forming or oil-producing enterprise; he would hardly have received support from the state or city, which means that nothing would have stopped the gears of the emvedash machine from turning. Moreover, it is not a fact that Evgeniy would have been found to have some serious violation. A few minor inconsistencies, which any businessman has, would be enough to unsubscribe to all regulatory authorities, to return to him in six months a no longer working computer with a clean hard drive (“and so it was!”), papers (at best, mixed up, and in at worst - half lost) and a face that had become quite pale.

Resolving such issues was not Oleg’s main activity. And the point here was not “what he knew,” but “who he knew.” Several years of working as a tracker did bring some connections.

The absurdity of the reason for the inspection and the courage of the fighters indicated that this attack was paid for by someone. Zhenya did not have any real estate in his office, therefore, this was not an attempt at a raider takeover or, in other words, an “invasion.” At the same time, the scale of the actions indicated that this was not a simple raid by the cops in an attempt to find the next client and take him under their “roof.” So, it’s still an order, but from whom?

Taking his mobile phone in his hands, he found Evgeniy’s phone number in his address book. Zhenya answered immediately, as if he was waiting for his call.

- Hi Oleg!

- Great, Zheka! How are you?

– What do you think? Of course, I dance and rejoice! I’m trying to renew my client base... Damn, the worst thing is that all the client layouts are gone! More than a thousand pieces! Just imagine what that means! Some will have to be made from scratch, and some will be impossible to restore! I’m not even talking about how much money I’ll overpay my employees for this and how much nerves I’ll spend explaining to clients why an order that I previously made in a day and a half will now take a week and a half! Yes, half will run away! Free market, damn it!

- It's clear. Listen, cool down! Who do you think might have been lifted by what happened? Do you have any competitors? Enemies? Owe someone money? Does someone owe you money? Were there any promissory notes in the papers?

- What kind of damn enemies are they, what kind of money? I haven't dealt with this nonsense for a long time. I'm full. There is only one competitor. So you know about it, they recently opened on the territory of the factory where we rent. Yes they are too small. The owner there is some kind of brat. They won't last long. Apparently, dad gave money to his son to frolic, to play in business. They even ordered small things from us and, by the way, still haven’t paid for it. But the amount is a little more than a hundred. Not serious. When I meet him, he keeps apologizing, saying, I’m sorry, if we get a little more hype, I’ll give it back. He’s been giving it away for three months now...

- Find out his details and his offices. Fine?

– Olezha, you’re digging in the wrong place! Okay, I’ll find out now and call you back.

The conversation brought Oleg back to life and cheered him up. So, what else do we have in terms of tasks...

Having dealt with the turnover, Oleg dialed the number of his classmate Kirill, who worked as deputy chief of the criminal police in the area in which Zheka’s printing house was located. Kirill was an honest guy, one of the few who worked according to his calling. He drove a "nine", lived in a one-room apartment, dressed simply, because his clothes also served as his bed when he stayed overnight in his office. He truly fought honestly, whatever he could fight, and was genuinely angry when he was not allowed to fight. The “gene of justice” was originally contained in him. You could just call Kirill and tell him everything honestly. He understood everything thoroughly and made a fair decision, even if the person who called him didn’t like it.

- Kiryukha, hello! How are you!

“You know where things are going, but we are fighting.” What's happened? You don't just call like that.

The last phrase was said without emotion, but Oleg understood the hint. He had long wanted to sit with Kirill in a bar, have a drink, have a heart-to-heart talk, but this day was always postponed, and therefore they rarely communicated, only by phone, and on business.

– Yes, Kirill, you’re right! I'm on business again! We still can’t get together, we can’t sit quietly... Listen, this is the case, could you check the legality of confiscating office equipment from my good friend? You see, the eagles from the Department of Economic Crimes took everything out of his office based on a request that was, to put it mildly, strange. I'll fax it to you now. Just understand, if everything is correct there, then I have no complaints... but there are still doubts... about the legality. Will you look?

- Let's. I'm starting...

A fax beep was heard on the phone. Oleg switched to the fax and took the sheet to Ksenia, who was writing something in ICQ. She tried not to look at him. And okay, let him do whatever he wants in his head. Moreover, the working day is already over.

Oleg returned to the office. It was already past seven. Done. Now it remains to solve the most unpleasant issue. What to do with the tour?

“Throwing and forgetting is option number one. Pros: I save a lot of money, I don’t humiliate myself in front of anyone. Minus: what if I regret it for the rest of my life?.. Again I ran away halfway... Okay, I’ll go to Mikhail. If he explains why he left and didn’t wait for me and asks for forgiveness, maybe I’ll agree...”

Champignon Dust

Oleg pressed the button on Mikhail’s gate for a long time. About five minutes. Door opened. The owner stood on the threshold in jeans and a sweater.

- What do you owe? – he asked and smiled, this time a regular smile.

- Mikhail! What's the matter? I arrived at the appointed time at the appointed place, brought the money, and wa... you were no longer there, and they told me that I did not have a guarantor!

- Everything is correct, Oleg! You don't have a guarantor!

- But what's the matter?

- You did not come!

- How can that be?!

- I was there at fourteen zero-zero and

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was waiting for you. You were not at the appointed place at that time, and at fourteen zero one I left. The terms of the contract were valid only at that time and place. It doesn't work anymore! This is all. Now I'm in a hurry too. If you want to talk, come with me.

- Where? How do I leave my car?

– If you want to talk, don’t ask questions and solve your difficulties yourself, but if you don’t, get lost.

- Fine. I'm going with you.

“Damn it, damn it! A few minutes of delay and such an attitude!” Oleg was furious because he could not slam the door and leave. Something told him that he had to stay. He parked his car better and remained standing on the street. A few minutes later, an executive Mercedes pulled up next to him. Mikhail was sitting in the back seat. He motioned for Oleg to sit next to him. Oleg sat down. There was a glass partition between them and the driver, so the conversation promised to be completely confidential.

“I can’t vouch for a person who is late,” Mikhail began straight away. – I cannot vouch for a non-existent person. If you are not in the right place at the right time, you are not there at all! You are late! It doesn't matter how long! One minute or an hour doesn't matter. All that matters is that you didn't arrive on time! You didn't have time!

“But couldn’t there be a good reason?”

– All valid reasons are listed in the Civil Code! They are called force majeure! War, natural disasters, global catastrophes... Can you name them? Or do you know it yourself? You seem to be a lawyer! Now answer yourself, honestly, can you attribute the reason for your lateness to force majeure?

Oleg pretended to be thoughtful, although, of course, it was clear to him that a conversation with the secretary clearly would not have worked in court as a force majeure.

– No, the circumstances were not force majeure.

– So, if you had to catch a plane, you would make it?

– So, it’s not a matter of opportunity, but still a matter of will, desire, attitude towards the meeting you are going to? That is, in this case, the person you were going to meet was not important to you? Not as important as an airplane?

– But the plane isn’t waiting! And during negotiations there is a decent amount of waiting time, about fifteen minutes, that’s how it is…

- Who accepted it? Me, for example, no. No one is late for my meetings, and if they are late, then only with a certificate from the hospital, traffic police or the Ministry of Emergency Situations! Everyone knows this. Even those who are used to being late everywhere come to me on time! And I myself am always on time! I've been late twice in the last ten years - once due to a serious accident, the other... I won't talk about that.

- How do you do it?

– Don’t you understand yet? Only those who admit this possibility are late, whose inner “commentator” babbles something like: “It’s okay, you can be a little late! Everyone is late! Everyone knows what kind of traffic jams we have!” and other nonsense! To be on time, you just need to replace all this heresy with one phrase! Which?

- I'm never late! Yes?

- No! Formulate your thoughts with verbs without “not”! Our brain does not hear this “no”!

- Why?

- Don't think about the white rabbit!

-Which rabbit?

– What did you present now? What image came into your head?

- The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

– But I told you NOT to think about him! Calm down! This is how our brain works. It does not perceive “not” particles. If you say “DO NOT be late,” all your brain hears is “be late!” Formulate the correct comment in a positive way!

- Be on time. Be on time.

- Believe me! It is enough, instead of all the vile nonsense, excuses and remorse, to simply live in the fact that “I am always on time” or “I am always on time.”

- But there are circumstances...

- No. I'll interrupt you. Finally understand! The phrase “there are circumstances” is already a whole context! Loser Context! Loser context! If all people lived with such a context, you would still live in a cave, wear skins and hunt with a club! Look around! Where are you sitting, what do you see?

- I'm sitting in a nice car. I see the interior, well, there’s glass, plastic, leather, light bulbs.

– Does this all grow in the forest?

– So, nature is a circumstance. People don't fly - this is a circumstance. Man runs slower than most animals - this is a circumstance. You don't have fangs and claws - that's a circumstance. You share thirty-five percent of your genes with a sea urchin and eighty with a pig - this is a circumstance. Your brain is not very different from the brain of a chimpanzee - this is a circumstance. But you have imagination and will - and that’s why you’re the one driving the car and launching spaceships, not the chimpanzees. This single circumstance alone allows you to say that CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT EXIST. You weren't born a grasshopper or a badger, which means there's no circumstance you can't handle!

– But why then do all people live so differently! Some barely make ends meet, while others own all the resources? Don't the family you were born into, the country, starting conditions, and natural skills matter?

– What do you want to find confirmation of? Pay attention to this! This is your context too! If you want to find confirmation that a person can achieve outstanding success no matter what: neither physical disabilities, nor origin, nor education, you will find thousands of examples of this! Shall I throw you some? Richard Branson had difficulty in school because he suffered from dyslexia; he did not understand the meaning of letters and numbers printed on paper. To overcome his handicap, he founded a magazine for students, which later grew into the Virgin record empire, Virgin Airlines, earned billions of dollars and now created the world's first aircraft capable of tourist space flights. Henry Ford did not even have a secondary education, but his empire is still alive. The founders of Panasonic, Apple and Honda also had no education. Thomas Edison, the great scientist and founder of General Electric, wanted to be thrown out of school for poor performance. More than half of the twentieth century's millionaires came from the poorest families. A huge number of people have achieved success despite physical disabilities. About ten or fifteen years ago I saw a story on TV that greatly influenced my life. It was a story about an armless artist. He painted by inserting a brush into the crevice between the bones that the doctors left for him in what was left of his hand! He looked like an absolutely happy and self-sufficient person. Yes, he also repaired watches with his stumps and lived on it! I realized then how important the will to live is!

I won't bore you with these stories. I almost said “amazing”. No, not surprising. It's amazing how most people try not to notice this. If you live in the context that “circumstances are stronger than us,” you will definitely find confirmation of this. You probably have more than a dozen stories from your life that confirm that you are right, and you will look for more and more new ones and prove with foam at the mouth that you are right. You will talk about what conditions exist in other “civilized” countries (of course, forgetting about those where people die from hunger and epidemics), you will scold your government and laws (of course, those of other, successful people -

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different government and laws), you will complain about your health (without taking the cigarette or bottle out of your mouth and not bothering to help your body even with light physical exercise), you will complain about the lack of money (without even trying to learn the laws of wealth)! And you'll be right! But you will die in your rightness, alone and in poverty. Everyone can prove they are right with examples. The only question is: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO PROVE? This is what will determine your destiny.

– You said the word CONTEXT several times. I'm starting to understand its significance. Explain in more detail what this is and how it is connected with my internal “commentator”?

– You correctly understood the significance. I'll explain it to you. Did I tell you that circumstances don't exist?

- Said.

- So here it is. I deceived you. Circumstances exist!

– “Circumstances do not exist” is a phrase, a motto that made you think and, I hope, come to some new important conclusions. For you, this is already a context that will help you move forward. Let's list some circumstances, for example: “fired from a well-paid job.” Is it good or bad? For some, this will be the beginning of their downfall. For some it is a reason to start their own business and move to a new quality level. “Parents drink” - someone will say: “What good can come of me, my parents are alcoholics,” and they will start drinking too, and someone, having seen with their own eyes how good people degrade from alcohol, will not allow drunkenness in own life. “Won a million” - someone invests money in a profitable business and in a few years will become a millionaire, while someone else will burn through it, get addicted to drugs and die in a madhouse. There are circumstances, of course. But they are always neutral. These are just bricks from which you can build yourself either a palace or a prison. So, context is a drawing and technological map of your life! Is it important? Did you build construction sets as a child?

- Of course, I collected it.

– Each construction kit comes with instructions, which contain examples of how to assemble this or that structure. You follow the instructions step by step. Before every step you think: “Why do this or that? How will this be useful later? And you won’t answer this question until you complete the next stage and move on to the next one. And you are surprised to discover how you ultimately get what is shown in the picture. Everything seems clear. There is one thing! All people receive a box with a construction set in their childhood. Then they are gradually given instructions. Sometimes parents, sometimes other relatives, the older you get, the more different instructions you get. You assemble your construction kit, and the more years pass, the more visible the result is. And when you see that he doesn’t suit you, you realize with horror that nothing can be fixed! There is already a foundation and walls, almost to the roof. And no matter how you try to change something: you lay bricks not along, but across, you use wood, not brick, you increase the size of the windows... - you still can’t change anything, it turns out that the drawings included... a prison.

And you begin to decorate it with plants and interior items according to Feng Shui, compare it with the prisons of your friends, read philosophical books about how a prison is not a prison at all if you love it with all your soul... but only every Monday morning the sound of the bolts becomes more and more annoying, and the neighbors' palaces become hated targets in any conversation and the cause of all troubles: “Surely those who are to blame for all this live there.”

– But if everyone is building blindly, how can one determine whose drawings will help build a palace and whose will help build a prison?

- Yes, it’s very simple! Look what those who give you their drawings have already built! Rest assured, your parents wish you only the best, and your entire context consists of “correct” comments that will certainly allow you to build your own life, but exactly the same as theirs. The same goes for friends and girlfriends. Who do you spend your free time with? Who do you consult with? Who sympathizes with you? These are all people who quietly slip their drawings to you. Therefore, do not be surprised later and do not blame anyone for the result... Although what can you do?

– What should I do if the drawings have already been drawn for me?

“You really can't do anything until you realize that these are not your drawings if you don't like them.” As long as you say: “This is not given to me”, “I am not capable of being a leader”, “I am not a businessman”, “I will never have this”, “This is not my level” - everything will be so, because this is what there is your context.

The human brain is structured like a computer. The most powerful and perfect computer. It initially contains programs that will control a person throughout his life. How do programs work? Yes, very simple! If there is one condition, one thing is done, if there is another condition, something else is done. But both the first and second options are already written in advance. The program will never accomplish anything that is not included in it. For example, your life is programmed by your parents as follows: “To be a successful person, you need to study well, then find a good job, work hard and never take risks. So, Uncle Vasya was a good engineer, he decided to go into business - and what happened? I lost my money, my apartment, and my family!” Do you think you will positively evaluate the offer of one of your partners to risk their jobs and start their own business? Most likely not, and if you do, it is very likely that you will really suffer the fate of Uncle Vasya. You will be convinced that your parents were right, and you will again go looking for a reliable job. Why? Because you have no other programs. If you are programmed that only business can give you freedom and the opportunity to reach heights, then you will evaluate any work from the point of view of experience that will be useful to you in business. You will only accept an offer that will meet your goals, or even better, you will make such an offer yourself, and even if you have to work for free for a year, or your aspirations are crowned with collapse, you will perceive this as an invaluable experience, using which you will build your next business.

The car floated along the city streets. Oleg didn’t even try to understand where they were going, where they were and what the purpose of the trip was. He didn't care. He thought. He was both happy and scared at the same time. He was glad that he was able to advance a little further than his parents. Now he was grateful to them for always considering him a child of genius. They believed in him and often said: “We won’t see a better life, but you can definitely achieve more!” They praised him for the slightest achievements and did not really scold him for mistakes. Since they had no connections or money, he could always rely only on himself and therefore was motivated to become the best in everything: in school, at work, in business. And for the same reason, he didn’t really like helping others. Now he realized that it was this upbringing that contributed to the fact that he was able to achieve some success in life.

At the same time, he was afraid that the further path was on a different level, and he really thought that it was too tough for him. There is different money, different people. He felt for himself that he could not get there. He hits this level like...

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ceiling, and doesn't know where the door is.

From early childhood, for some reason, he was sure that champignons were the same mushrooms that, growing up, became “smoke stoves” that children so love to trample. Until he was twenty, he firmly believed in this and foamed at the mouth to prove that he was right, until one day they proved the opposite to him by showing him a reference book. The most amazing thing is that while he believed it himself, he was also able to prove it to several friends... after all, he believed in it so sacredly...

Don't trust words, no matter how convincing they may sound. Trust only the results. Words that do not lead to the desired results will sooner or later turn into dust, just as those smoke mushrooms that you sincerely thought were champignons turn into dust from the cotton of the sole of your foot.

Song of the Shaman

The car drove inside some old factory. Century-old brick and rusty pipes flashed in the headlights. After circling through the narrow passages, the car stopped at an iron door. The driver opened the door for Mikhail. Oleg went out through his door. “What could be interesting for Mikhail here?” There was a sound of metal hitting metal. Mikhail knocked on the door with a massive handle in the form of a metal ring. Oleg even became slightly wary.

Door opened. A man in work clothes and an apron appeared on the threshold and warmly greeted Mikhail.

He motioned for Oleg to enter.

All clear. It was a forge. An ordinary working forge with a concrete floor covered with soot and rust, and smoked white brick walls on which various tongs, hammers and workpieces hung. Racks with pieces of iron. Huge desktop. Several anvils. Some machines. A forge burned faintly against the wall.

– Are you still forging your happiness, Maxim? – Mikhail asked cheerfully.

- I forge everything! Who's with you today?

Maxim, that was the name of the blacksmith, nodded towards Oleg. He smiled an open smile. His simple and straight features, open forehead and powerful hands inspired confidence. He looked to be about forty years old, although the soot on his face might have distorted his age.

– This is my friend, Oleg. He also wants to forge.

– Another financial tycoon? Doesn’t he even take off his suit in the forge, or is it just overalls? – Maxim laughed.

Oleg suddenly realized that he was really standing in the middle of the forge in a suit, light shirt and tie. And, besides, he has already been included, without his consent, in some kind of work process. He hated hardware since his youth. His father loved to tinker with the car until it rotted in the parking lot; his paternal grandfather worked as a driver. He hated physical labor, especially those involving iron. It was always hard and dirty. On the other hand, now he was ready to perceive something new. And the atmosphere was friendly. He took off his jacket, tie and shirt. I stayed in trousers and a T-shirt.

- Do you have an extra apron?

- There will be! – Maxim answered quickly.

Mikhail also took off his sweater. He remained in a T-shirt, over which he put on a leather apron.

- Where is my preparation? – he asked the smiling Maxim.

Maxim brought several preparations. These were wrought iron rods with vines twining around them. More precisely, one could have guessed that this was so, because some things had already been well worked out, while others were only outlined.

- Maksim! Pay more attention to Oleg today. I handle my own things, if I need anything, I’ll tell you.

- Fine! What are we going to forge? – he turned to Oleg.

- Can I have a horseshoe? For luck?

- Well, if not for the horse, but for luck, then, perhaps, yes. “It’s harder to please a horse than happiness,” Maxim concluded, smiling at his joke.

- Well, great! Go! Where do we start?

- On the! – Maxim gave him a piece of plasticine.

- Why is this? I would like an iron one!

- You're a weirdo! Well-heated iron obeys the same laws as plasticine! First try to fashion a horseshoe out of it and remember how the material behaves. Where do you press to achieve the desired shape.

- What, do you always sculpt from plasticine first?

- No, I only show it to beginners.

In a few minutes, Oleg sculpted a horseshoe out of plasticine.

- Well! Now forge the same thing from a rod! That's all! – He handed Oleg a square metal rod and tongs. - Gray rod!

Oleg put the rod in the coals. The blacksmith threw more coals on top and pulled some kind of valve in the furnace. A sheaf of sparks shot up.

– To begin with, the task is simple. Make a rectangular one from a square section.

– How long does it take to heat the metal?

- Look. Until it turns straw-yellow in color, but be sure to take it out in time so as not to burn it.

Oleg admired the transformation of a gray piece of metal into burgundy, then red, then yellow.

When the rod began to turn white, he took it out with tongs and placed it on the anvil.

- Damn, where's the hammer? – Seeing the hammer on the stand, he ran after it, holding a red-hot rod in his hand. While I was choosing, the rod lost its color and became dark red.

- Gray again! – Maxim said, chuckling. – The tool should always be at hand.

Repeating the procedure, Oleg put the rod on the anvil and began to hit it with a hammer. Timidly at first, appraising. Then more confident. As soon as he got into a rage, the metal darkened, but Oleg continued to beat him heartily. Maxim stopped him with a gesture.

– Do you know what the main commandment of a blacksmith is?

- Strike while the iron is hot?

- No, this is the second, and it follows from the first. And the first one is “don’t sweat!”

- Like this?

– As long as the metal is at the right temperature, you don’t need to hit it hard. The main thing is accurately and quickly. This is the skill of a blacksmith. And those who hit cold metal have long been called with disdain “cold blacksmith.” Timing, precision and effort are more important than strength. You see, there’s a pneumatic hammer standing there. Press lightly on the pedal, and it's done, only you need to have even greater skill, instead of a hand - a foot, and it's easy to overdo it.

Oleg heated the rod and hit it with a hammer. From time to time his movements became more confident and precise. Maxim directed and showed, and he did. At some point, he felt that all the disturbing thoughts from his head were carried out by air through the forge hood. Amazing effect. Previously, he could not achieve this even with the help of meditation. Thoughts constantly climbed like flies on... jam. And then - the color of the metal, fire, a few blows, muscle efforts - and the rod more and more turned into a horseshoe.

About two hours later she was ready. Here she is. It lies in his hand. Warm. Uneven. Dear. Happiness. “Everyone is the architect of their own happiness!” - how simply and truly it is said.

Mikhail was also finishing. Oleg found out that he was making a small table for wine tasting in the garden. A lot of questions that were in his head at first disappeared by themselves. At first it was crazy that Mikhail was doing something himself. “Doesn’t he really have the money to buy something ready-made? What's the point of a rich man digging through this dirt? What do he and the blacksmith have in common?” These questions would have remained unanswered if he had not tried to do something with his own hands. He was pleased and proud of himself and happily polished his horseshoe with a metal brush. She seemed to him like a work of art.

After washing up after work, the three of them sat down at the table. Maxim brewed a large pot of tea, took out large cups that were not the first clean, and poured it for the guests. There was a bag of gingerbread on the table. “God, how delicious tea with gingerbread is after such work!” - thought about

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yourself Oleg.

– Did you feel the taste of life? – Mikhail asked, as if reading his thoughts.

- Yes, Mish. Thank you so much! I really liked it, I didn’t even think it was so exciting.

Mikhail smiled sincerely and winked at Maxim:

– Another shaman of iron and fire!

“They say that whoever masters blacksmithing masters the power of the six elements,” said Mikhail.

- Why six? Fire, metal... Did I miss something?

- The land in which ore is found. The tree from which coal was formed. The water in which you cooled your horseshoe. The wind driven by the blacksmith's bellows.

The obvious is not always immediately apparent, so what can we say about the complex? It’s like a shaman’s song - anyone can hear it, but only he himself can understand it,” Mikhail explained, sipping tart tea from a large mug.

After drinking tea and gingerbread, changing clothes and saying a warm goodbye to the blacksmith, Mikhail and Oleg got back into the car.

- So, to our question about being late. A person who is late is a “cold blacksmith.” He is forced to make a hundred times more effort, which is absolutely unnecessary. He is nervous, being late for a meeting. He feels guilty at the meeting and loses on important points in the negotiations. He is less prepared. A prejudiced attitude towards him is formed in advance. And if you pretend that nothing happened and act calmly as if nothing happened, people knowledgeable in negotiation strategies may think that this lateness was deliberate and you are showing them that you do not care about the results of the meeting or the people who came to see her. Among my friends there are those who will not meet a second time with a person who is late for the first meeting. And they will describe you to their friends as an optional person. This is how such small and insignificant things for you can become the beginning of your end.

– So how can you still keep up with traffic jams and other surprises?

– Are traffic jams still a surprise for you? A surprise is if you get there without traffic jams. If you don’t have time by car, jump on the subway and walk. Cool is not the one who arrived in a Bentley but was late, but the one who found any way to be on time. At least in my environment this is the case. And if you have an extra half hour left before the meeting, use it for its intended purpose. Prepare better for negotiations, read a book, make a few calls or just enjoy happy moments of relaxation. And if you meet in a restaurant and arrive first, you have the opportunity to take the best place, look around, study the menu better, which means that the partners who come will be like your guests, and you will be like the host. This is also important.

Read this book in its entirety by purchasing the full legal version (https://www.litres.ru/dmitriy-hara/p-sh/?lfrom=279785000) on liters.

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Here is an introductory fragment of the book.

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Dmitry Khara

Thank you

On the eve of the book's publication, I realized that I could not help but thank all those who, in one way or another, played a role in my life, and therefore in the birth of this book.

I am grateful, first of all, to my parents, who, unfortunately, are no longer among us, but whose role becomes clearer every year. My first dedication is to their blessed memory.

I am grateful to my family. To my wife Victoria, who steadfastly endures my immersions in the world of thought-words and became my first reviewer. To my children, for whose future success I sat down to write this story.

I am grateful to all the friends and family who supported me in my determination to publish this novel, whose first reviews and emotions allowed me to understand that the book is needed by a wide range of readers. Here I would like to especially thank Oleg Arutyunov, who always supports my creative projects, for friendly conversations and important “Strokes of the Essence”, which, perhaps even against his will, ended up on the pages of this book, and for a number of images that he brought into it.

I thank my friends who helped the publication of this book, in particular Andrei Gagarin, Denis Ryabinin and Eduard Bychkov. And Andrey also for his unbending faith in the importance of the project and the orange color of the cover.

I would like to express special gratitude for help in knowing myself to Mikhail Rozanov, Galina Mikhailovskikh, Elena Frolova, and my friend Sergei Barinov. You helped me understand that the world is much bigger than it seems. The seeds you planted fell on fertile soil and bore fruit, and now I am happy to sow them again.

Thanks to the Masters, who with pure souls revealed the mysteries of their crafts and arts and served as prototypes for a number of characters in the book: Maxim Metelev, Sergei and Liliya Melnikovs, Tatyana Rodygin, Philip and Maria Kazak, Anastasia Kuzmin, Svetlana Bogdanov and Irina Vasil. Bondarev Andrey – Artist with a capital “A” for his art, pure heart and part of the illustrations for this book.

Thanks to Timur Upolovnikov for his willingness to cooperate and support the next step.

Thanks to all my friends and acquaintances who walked with me along the difficult but interesting path of life changes. Each of you has placed your precious stone in the treasury of my life. If you recognize your image on the pages, rest assured that it is in my soul. Your names would take up several more pages!

Thanks to the team of the David publishing house, who treated the material embodiment of this book with warmth and sincere interest.

To the world that gives us all life and limitless opportunities!

Address to the reader

There are books to kill time, and there are books to gain knowledge.

There are simply well-written books, reading which you will savor every word. There are those who will pass through your life like a train passing by a stop, leaving nothing behind! There are books that, after reading them, will make you want to lie down under this train! Their authors don't care about you or your life!

I want to warn you that “P.Sh.” - a book that changes your world. Your life will never be the same after reading it. Think about it: is it worth turning the page that will change your world? Maybe it's better to leave everything as is? There will simply be no turning back. There is a path ahead, the final goal of which will depend on your decision, but having accepted it, you will have to take responsibility for everything that happens only on yourself. Are you ready for this?

With this book I open a series of transformational books - books that change consciousness, life and the world. There is no point in writing others.

Your friend, Dmitry Khara.

"Last step"

“No damn name for a travel agency!” – Oleg thought, having difficulty reading the stylized letters on a bronze tablet located to the right of the oak door of one of the buildings on Kamennoostrovsky Prospekt. He even smiled a little. “Apparently, the director has a good sense of humor, but he is a risky guy, if, of course, he is a guy. Maybe I should come in and see what “last step” they’ll offer me?”

Oleg has been traveling through the same travel agency for seven years now. Not that it was the best company or that it offered the lowest prices in the city and the most original tours, but he was just used to it. In recent years, tours for him have been personally selected by director Alina. He was flattered by this. He was always seated in a deep armchair, poured his favorite tea, given a stack of brochures with glossy photographs from another world and immersed in a state close to a trance, where bright pictures flashed before his eyes, commented on by Alina’s soothing voice. He had long ago admitted to himself that this was his favorite part of the entire vacation. He specially set aside two hours of time for her, turned off his mobile phone and savored every minute. Only at these moments was born in him a childish expectation of a miracle - a magical land in which it would not just be good, but good, good. He already knew that these expectations would never be met, and already two days later, in any country in the world, he was periodically pulled out of the fairy tale by his mobile phone, and the excited voice of Valera, his assistant, began something like: “Hello! How do you rest? Sorry, old man, I didn’t want to bother you, but there is one small but very important issue that only you can solve...” And then there was a text that was supposed to convince him that only he, Oleg, could really solve this issue. Oleg was deliberately angry, calling Valera and everyone else stupid, but he began to solve the problem. Probably, if there were no such calls, Oleg would have been even more nervous. After all, he understood that he was the most important and without him there would be nowhere. And after a couple of days of rest, some compatriots arrived, some business connections arose, and the remaining days turned into demonstrations in front of each other. That is why he savored every minute of this illusion of a future carefree holiday with such pleasure.

And here you have it: “The last step.” Oleg’s flash of thoughts was interrupted by a brand new, latest model Infiniti jeep pulling into a small parking lot near the entrance. The door opened and out came