A difficult life test. How to help someone cope with the pain of loss

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Dies daily huge amount people. From illness, from old age, from an incorrect diagnosis and incorrect treatment, during childbirth, from an accident (plane crash, road accident, etc.), due to stupidity and negligence. There are a lot of factors. We listen to radio reports, watch the news and don’t think about how many people were breathing and smiling a minute ago... Until it affects us personally.

The death of a loved one is a terrible grief that many cannot survive for years. In this article we will try to figure out what happens to the living relatives and loved ones left on earth, and how to survive the loss of a loved one.

When a person dies, he no longer cares: someone who has been sick for a long time receives relief from physical suffering, old man completes his life path. We are ready to somehow come to terms with this and calm ourselves down. But if a young man or a child dies, who still has time to live, we are not ready to let him go. During this period, we begin to go through the 7 stages of grief. Popular wisdom says: “Grief is too wide to go around, too high to jump over, and too deep to crawl under; You can only go through grief..."

Let's consider all 7 stages. They are familiar to those who have already experienced the death of a relative. And you will have to go through them, one way or another. Perhaps not in the order presented below, perhaps some periods will remain with a person for many years. But this is something the psyche simply cannot cope without.

Stages of grief and sadness after the death of a loved one

Negation

Happens at the very beginning to absolutely everyone. “This can’t be! This is some kind of nonsense! It shouldn’t be like this!” – a person does not believe in this sudden death, does not want to accept it. During this period, either complete numbness and stupor can occur, or, on the contrary, activity. The relative has not yet realized what is happening and is not ready to accept reality. And this reaction is a kind of self-defense. As a rule, this period does not last long.

Resentment and anger

Happens to almost everyone. A feeling of injustice of what is happening. Understanding that we humans are absolutely powerless and cannot go against nature in any way. And you can’t do anything now, because no one can resurrect the dead. And if you can then go to a pet store and adopt a kitten, then stores with grandmothers, friends, and so on simply do not exist. This is absurd.

Guilt

Scary stage. A person begins to engage in soul-searching, analyzing relationships with the deceased. Perhaps somewhere he was rude or wrong, somewhere he could have paid more attention. Or maybe he could have helped but didn’t.

Depression

I would like to note that most often non-believers are subject to this stage. A believer is ready to give everything into the hands of the Creator and come to terms with what happened. After all, Heaven takes a person at the right time. First of all, for this person. A believer will not think about himself and how hard it is for him now here on earth - he will think about the soul of the deceased. So that she would feel good there. And he will do his best to achieve this. A believer is sure that there is life after death, and we will all definitely meet later.

An unbeliever can become depressed, be in constant sadness and sorrow, cry, scratch the walls, scream, withdraw into himself, and even become addicted to alcohol. This is a protracted and long period from which it is difficult to get out, but it is possible. The main thing is to have the support of loved ones nearby.

Awareness and acceptance

No matter how difficult it is to overcome loss, time heals. Not immediately, of course, but the realization comes that a loved one can no longer be returned. The rage towards all living things gradually passes; more often, of course, it comes from powerlessness. Depression also passes. The mourning outfit is removed. And the first attempts to look at the world with eyes without tears appear.

Renaissance

Without mom, dad, husband, child or grandmother, living is difficult, painful, difficult. But it's possible. And most importantly - it is necessary. After all, the life of a person remaining on earth continues. It will be different, but it will be there. And you need to learn to live. Most often at this stage a person learns to live in a new way, thinks a lot, and is silent more. In other words, he gathers his strength to open up to the world, and not exist by base needs.

New life

This is the last period. When a person has gone through all the stages discussed above, he is ready for a new life. Not everyone can live with constant reminders of the past, so many change jobs, renovate their apartment, remove things that remind them of a deceased relative, and even change their place of residence. This is necessary in order not to fall into despondency and depression again and again.

How to cope with the grief of losing a loved one

Don't be alone

The most important thing is not to withdraw into yourself and try not to alienate others. There is no need to revel in your grief. Don't refuse support. Let those people be near you who will understand when it is worth moving away, and when it is simply necessary to be near you and call you by name, pulling you out of apathy and stupor.

Contact a specialist

If it is impossible to cope with emotions, you feel that depression has dragged on, you see a deceased loved one in the faces of passers-by, you hear his voice and wait for a call to mobile phone, and this condition is driving you crazy, contact a specialist. Be it a psychologist or a priest (depending on religion).

Don't hold on to the pain

If you need to cry, cry, if you need to scream, scream. Try to find an outlet for emotions in creativity. Painting, poetry, writing music. All this distracts and helps to cope with the heavy burden on the heart. If you have something to say to your deceased relative, write him a letter. One of psychological techniques. After writing the letter, you will have the feeling that you have communicated with a loved one. It will become easier.

Speak

Communicate with friends, family and loved ones about the deceased. If they are ready to listen to you, of course. Share your grief with someone. After all, shared grief is already half a grief.

Take your time

Don't set limits for yourself. Suffering will not go away on the fortieth day. This is impossible. The pain may dull, but it will still remind you of itself. In the event of the loss of a loved one, sadness is a normal phenomenon; do not reproach yourself if suddenly a lump comes to your throat and tears flow by themselves.

Don't seek comfort in bad habits

Neither alcohol nor smoking various mixtures will help. Your health will only deteriorate. Think about your relatives. It's hard for them too. It’s better to help them as best you can. Try to save yourself.

Don't be selfish

One way or another, the person is no longer there. Basically we get depressed because we feel bad here. There are people nearby who specifically need your participation. If you feel that you did not give the deceased attention, love, or warmth, you can always help those in need. You need to realize that you can really help your loved one only with kind remembrance and prayer (applies to believers). Living people need you now.

Don't be afraid to forget

If, after some time, you begin to laugh, remembering your deceased loved one, do not be afraid of it. After all, he lived with you and there were many funny and kind moments. It's good that memories of him make you smile. Gradually accepting the loss and creating a new life without it is not betrayal. You just learned to move on with your life. Healed. This is not only normal, but also correct.

Dead people are always with us; souls do not disappear into thin air. It’s difficult to comprehend this thought, but it can keep you afloat in difficult times. The body is just a temporary shell. It can be hard to realize that you will no longer hear your beloved voice or hug your family’s shoulders, but it is worth overcoming this feeling and helping the soul of the deceased. The body will no longer rise, but the soul is in need. They say that when a deceased person dreams, he asks for prayers. Even if you don’t believe, go to church, place a candle on a square candlestick near the large cross, give a note, bring bread or cereal to the funeral table. You may not believe in all this mysticism, but suddenly. It will make you feel better to understand that even now, when the person is gone, you can help him.

The past year, 2015, was, unfortunately, “rich” in large-scale tragedies. When events such as a disaster or terrorist attack occur, death can be very close and affect many people at once in a limited space and in a short time. Someone's a loved one died, a family member, someone has lost a good friend or girlfriend, a friend, someone has lost a good neighbor...

But death accompanies human life not only when crashes and disasters occur. And this is always a sudden event for which it is not possible to fully prepare, even if the deceased had been ill for a long time before it.

How to find the strength to live after a difficult loss? This is what our article is about, and it is addressed primarily to those who themselves have recently encountered an irreparable disaster. We'll talk about what is part of the normal grieving process and what psychological symptoms to look out for.

Grief is a process that has certain stages. Mental wounds, like physical wounds, take time to heal. And it is important not to interrupt this process, remembering that grief itself is, in fact, healing. Of course, each person experiences grief in his own way, but there are still some patterns of this process that are common to most people.

"No!"

This is the word that involuntarily escapes most people in response to tragic news. A loved one has died? - No, it can’t be, it shouldn’t be like that! Just the other day we were talking, joking, quarreling and making up, discussing mutual friends, making plans for the future...

The human psyche protests against the invasion of such news and defends itself. Because this news threatens a person’s picture of the world. And the greater the place the deceased occupied in this picture of the world, the greater the threat of its destruction and the more severe the loss will be.

Therefore, for the first few days after the tragedy, a state of stupefaction and dullness of emotions is normal. The feeling of unreality of what is happening persists; people may feel that all this is not happening to them. Something is about to happen - a call will ring and they will say that an error has occurred, other news will come that refute the previous ones, or it will turn out that someone mixed something up - and this nightmare will end. And everything will be the same...

At the same time, outwardly a person may not look “frozen” at all. He can express a wide range of emotions and develop energetic activities. The mournful troubles associated with identification, burial and observance of rituals also partially distract from focusing on difficult thoughts. Therefore, full awareness of the irreparable nature of the events will most likely come only in a few days.

The most important thing during this period is to try not to be alone. You don’t have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to, but it’s better if someone is next to you all the time. Also try to give vent to your feelings; if they break through, do not hold back your tears. The words “don’t lose heart” and “pull yourself together” are not at all appropriate right now and are not about you. If someone has a loved one died, then the grieving person has every right to be “out of shape.”

Acute grief

But then the funeral took place, the first wake took place - on the 3rd and 9th day (in other cultures these may be different, but similar dates), friends and relatives dispersed, who were brought together again for a short time by grief. The closest relatives and friends of the deceased are now left face to face with grief - each with their own.

And there comes a period of greatest sorrow, which at times seems unbearable. In addition to the pain of loss, acute loneliness, a feeling of abandonment, and isolation may occur. You may feel frustrated and even angry at your loved ones because they “don’t understand” the depth of your grief. This is partly true, because the deceased played his role in the life of each person and took his place in the picture of the world. The loss of a spouse is experienced differently than the loss of a parent. And, of course, the loss of a child cannot be compared with anything.

Anger can arise even at the deceased himself, especially if the relationship with him was not simple and unambiguous. He frightens by his very appearance because of the cultural prohibition - “it’s either good or nothing about the dead.”

The other side of anger - guilt - is also a frequent “guest” during this period. I remember all my own mistakes, all the harsh words spoken in frustration or fatigue. It seems that something is missing, something important is left unsaid, and something could be corrected. That it was possible to pay more attention to loved ones, spend more time together.

Finally, during a period of acute grief, physical symptoms often arise - heaviness in the chest, even a feeling of lack of air, interruptions in cardiovascular system, weakness, weakness, sleep and nutrition disorders. Don’t be alarmed by these symptoms – this is the body’s reaction to severe stress.

No matter how difficult all these feelings and their strength may be at times, remember that this is all a “normal reaction to abnormal events.” The depth of your grief is the measure of your love for the person who left you.

What to do with all these feelings, with pain and melancholy, anger and guilt? Sometimes you want to run away from this, or somehow “turn off” your experiences so that your soul doesn’t feel so painful and empty.

Unfortunately, the tragic history of our country in the last century has contributed to the loss of the culture of experiencing grief and loss. Meanwhile there is good word– “mourn”, which contains the answer to the question: “ how to cope with the death of a loved one?. It means that your loss must be mourned.

Crying and sobbing are a natural mechanism given by nature to discharge feelings associated with grief. But often people do not allow themselves to express their feelings. The ban on crying and crying among men is especially strong in our culture. I have met people (of both sexes, however) who for years did not allow themselves to cry from grief, who froze their heartache, which remained a lump in my chest.

From such people you can hear: “But what will happen? Am I just going to sit and cry?!.”, or: “I’m afraid that if I cry, it will never end.” - Yes, my dears. Sometimes all you need to do is sit down and cry.

Don't be afraid, it won't last forever. It is unlikely that you will cry for more than 15-20 minutes in a row, and then your body itself will make sure that the crying ends. Don't interrupt this process. And don’t be afraid that in the first days and weeks after the loss, attacks of grief will be frequent, which means that from time to time you will want to stop what you’re doing and cry. Allow yourself this.

What else can you recommend? If you have good friends who are willing to be with you, ask them to visit you more often. Don’t be shy about “burdening others with your problems” - the time will come when you will also be able to do something for your friends, but now you need to accept help and support, you have every right to do so.

For many people in acute grief, helplines become a real salvation. Feelings of emptiness and loneliness worsen in the evening and at night.

And if insomnia is added to them, then the hardest time of day will be two or three in the morning. Few of your friends are ready to be with you at such a time.

But sometimes you need to feel the presence of another person, even at a distance. The consultant will listen to you, will not stop you if you want to cry, will not judge you for feelings that may not be understood by your loved ones...

To be continued.

The death of a loved one is an irreparable loss. How to help another person get through this difficult period of life? And how to survive the death of a loved one yourself, when it seems that life has stopped, and happiness without him is simply impossible?

Nobody wants to touch the topic of death - it itself touches us! It happens suddenly and overwhelmingly. Then her blow is even stronger, and the shock from the shock she has experienced leaves scars not only in the soul, but also on the body. How to survive the death of a loved one and not go crazy with grief? How to help someone who is experiencing the pain of loss? The answer is given by System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, which shows that our entire psyche, like a thin lace, is woven from two forces - the force of life and the force of death.

The death of a loved one is an irreparable loss

Why such unbearable pain? Empty inside and empty outside. You just don't understand how to live on. The death of a loved one seems to throw you into another reality: into a meaningless and empty world in which there is no person dear to your heart.

When a person is suddenly overwhelmed by the passing of a loved one, he forgets about everything. At this moment, the brain seems to turn off, and he walks like a somnambulist, bumping not only into the things of a loved one, but also into memories of him.

And the memories are overwhelmed by a wave of emotions, and the pain from the loss of a loved one arises in the heart again and again. And now the tears are choking, there is a lump in my throat, there are no words, my legs are simply giving way. How to cope with the loss of a loved one?

And if someone from your circle experiences a loss, you also feel bitter and hurt, but for him. I want to help, but I don’t know how to find words of consolation.

You see how his whole being resists the news of his loss. You seem to hear him mentally screaming: “I don’t believe it! This can't be true! It’s unfair that such a good person passed away!” And then loneliness, melancholy, and uncontrollable grief suck him into their quagmire. I want to reach him, get him out of there. But how?

How to help another person get through this difficult period of life? And how can you survive the death of a loved one yourself, when it seems that life has stopped and happiness without him is simply impossible? Let's find out in this article.

Psychological aspects of the experience of death

Most people have a hard time dealing with death. Everyone reacts to death differently. Everything is determined by the unconscious characteristics of our psyche. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan classifies all these properties and unconscious desires, calling them vectors. And since people are not the same, recommendations on how to survive the death of a loved one also depend on the person’s psychology.

A person lives among other people. And we all have an innate set of vectors for fulfilling our role in society. Someone is given an excellent memory, another is given increased emotionality, a third is given a brilliant mind, etc. The mixing of different vectors creates a unique pattern of the psyche.

That's why Each person experiences loss differently. Some start, others uncontrollably, others fall into, and some confidently take on all the hassle of organizing.

As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, a person is always a desire to survive and continue himself in time. In a state of overstress - and death, of course, is such a state - unconscious adaptation programs come into play.

These are unconscious reactions, and the person simply does not understand what is happening to him. Why is he drawn into the abyss of fear, why does he fall into a stupor or, conversely, begin to flicker?

What does this depend on? From those innate properties that nature has endowed us with. And they are all different for everyone. It will be easier to survive the loss of a loved one, to cope with melancholy and hopelessness when you realize what is happening to the psyche.

When a person feels guilty

There are among us special people for whom family, children, friends, gratitude, and justice are super-values. All life events pass through this most important filter of perception for them. It is easy for such a person to plunge into a feeling of guilt, experiencing pain because he did not thank the deceased during his lifetime. Owners of these properties experience special, unbearable pain from the death of a beloved child - it is felt as a loss of the meaning of life.

Such a person also tends to immerse himself in memories, especially if they are pleasant memories. In this state, a person loses his point of support. He needs to be helped to regain balance. Death is a huge shock for him; he unconsciously tries to return to the past, when everything was good. In this state, he begins to live with memories.

The mere news of the death of a loved one makes such a person’s legs give way, his heart begins to pound, and he begins to feel short of breath. He may even become ill with his heart. It is especially difficult for the owner of the anal vector to survive the death of his mother. To adapt to the loss of a loved one and return to life again, the bearer of these properties always needs more time than others.


Who falls into hysterics from the loss of a loved one

Overcoming a sudden loss is especially difficult for people with a visual vector. Because at the heart of their psyche lies a root fear - the fear of death. It is they who, from the pain of loss, very often begin to cry, plunge into self-pity or fall into hysterics, that is, become isolated in the lower states of the visual vector. A sudden break in the emotional connection with the deceased is a huge stress for such people; they do not control themselves, do not understand how to survive this death and get out of difficult conditions.

As they go downward, they are drawn more and more into the vortex of fear of death. You can get out of such complex states only by understanding the entire mechanism and amplitude of visual states, to which Yuri Burlan devotes more than 20 hours to training.

It is people with a visual vector who risk plunging into a state of self-pity, which is actually very destructive, because it closes the sufferer on himself and once again on his unhappy self. And the visual vector belongs to the four extroverted vectors, for which isolation is unnatural and harmful.

This is one of the biggest mistakes that subsequently leads to health problems for the one experiencing loss. He begins to develop psychosomatic illnesses.

So how can you not lose your mind from grief, and also help others survive these states and not fall into unbridled self-pity and endless melancholy?

Tears help you cope with the death of a loved one

But tears are different. In a state of loss, when an unbearable tragedy clouds the mind, we begin to cry out of fear for ourselves. A whole circle of thoughts rushes through my head: how will I live without a loved one, a loved one?

We often cry out of self-pity. But tears can bring relief if you are able to redirect the vector of attention from yourself to others, to those who are also feeling bad right now. Visual people have a unique talent for empathy and compassion: the desire to support and reassure another will bring you great relief in how to cope with the loss of a loved one.

Of course, the loss of a loved one is a very difficult condition. It is important to understand all the psychological characteristics of these conditions, then you will be able not only to cope with the pain yourself, but also to help other people who have experienced loss.

When the death of a loved one is the greatest tragedy

But a person with an anal-visual combination of vectors experiences the loss especially strongly. For the anal vector, the greatest value is family, mother, children. For the visual, these are emotional connections with other people.

When a person has such a connection, for him the loss is a huge blow to his supervalues, it is a severance of an emotional connection that can never be restored.

Here memories of the past and lost emotional connections are woven into a tight knot. He is simply drawn into a whirlpool of memories, where he remembers all the good things, and some grievances and disappointments. All this at the same time has a very bright emotional coloring, and he gets worse and worse, up to panic attacks and inability to move legs.

Naturally, colleagues, relatives and friends will learn about the loss. They, of course, always offer help and support. But a person immersed in grief often unconsciously pushes away the helping hand. Surely you have encountered such situations. It is important to understand here that a person still needs help. How can I help him?

A person in grief - a special approach is needed

You need to skillfully support your loved ones. System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan gives such advice.

    Be sure to support the person sincerely and with all your heart, but do not fall into lamentations like “how are you going to live now?”

    Moreover, if you hear such notes, you need to be very attentive, make mental efforts and try to bring his melancholy into bright memories.

    Do not allow impressionable and emotional owners of the visual vector to paint terrible pictures in their imagination.

    Of course, in the first days he will be immersed in his grief, but subsequently he must be brought out into society. Help him see that someone else has it harder than him.

    Those who love to live in memories can express their feelings through memoirs written for posterity about such a wonderful person.

So death is always a reason to remember the good things that were associated with this person. Remember what the deceased did in his life, remember the joyful, happy moments and understand that the person close to you left his unique mark on this world.

It is possible to survive the death of a loved one

First of all, if one of your loved ones is suffering from loss, when talking to them, tell them that life goes on and the best way to get through difficult times is in society.

After all, the loss of loved ones is a natural and logical stage of life. Life goes on! And only we choose what energy to fill life with: the energy of joy, light that will remain after us, or melancholy and grief, when everyone around you will shy away from you and try to avoid you.

This is what the training participants say who got rid of pain, and the departure of a loved one became for them a page of bright sadness instead of terrible and unbearable heart pain.

The death of a loved one - a tragedy or a new chord in life?

Man does everything to continue himself in time. And naturally, each of your loved ones leaves their mark. Some in their children, others in science or art, and some generally leave a deep mark on the soul of all humanity.

The tragedy of the death of a loved one is not the final chord of your life, but an opportunity to think about how your life resonates in the present. Are there any false notes in it, are you doing everything to leave your unique mark on the earth.

Life after death

Life is a cycle of energy, which, as we know, does not disappear without a trace. So in reality there is no death. The universe is structured according to the holographic principle. Even a piece of a small leaf leaves a holographic trace of the whole leaf.

So we don’t disappear into nowhere - we leave our mark: both material and spiritual.

People are actually much stronger than we think. It is much easier for a person to survive the shock of death when he has something to live for. When there is something that depends only on him, on his efforts and that is much greater than himself. And these are not always children or other relatives; sometimes a person is forced to live by an idea, the embodiment of which is the meaning of his life.

We can get rid of the pain of loss, and most importantly, survive it without loss of health, when we become aware of the unconscious mechanisms that control our lives. You can start getting acquainted with these powerful forces and restore their natural balance at the free online training System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

Sign up now.

Spare yourself the suffering and heartache.

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

In our culture, it is not customary to teach condolences. Therefore, immediately after tragic events, you will hear many times from others that you need to hold on. But it’s normal to be sad, worry and suffer in this situation.

We are all different. That is why even in materials about the reaction of schoolchildren to grief they write that some children will ask for care, others will get angry, others will eat, others will cry, and others will fall into a stupor. The psyche copes (and fails) with the load in different ways.

Adriana Imzh, consulting psychologist

2. Give yourself permission to experience in a way that suits you.

You probably have a template in your head for how a person should behave in the event of tragic events. And it may be completely different from what you feel.

Trying to force yourself into an idea of ​​what you are supposed to experience will add guilt to your grief, making it even more difficult to cope with the situation. So allow yourself to suffer naturally, without living up to anyone’s (including your own) expectations.

3. Look for support in advance

There are days that will be especially difficult: birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates associated with the departed person. And it’s better to take care in advance to create an environment in which it will be a little easier for you to survive this time.

According to Adriana Imzh, it is important to remember that, despite some existing calendar (9 days, 40 days, year), each person experiences time in his own way: someone is able to face grief only after a few months, when the shock is released, and Some people are already fine by this time.

If grief lasts for several years, it means that the person is “stuck” in the experience. In a way, it’s easier this way - to die with the one you loved, to stop your world with him. But it’s unlikely that he wanted this for you.

And of course, even those who try to move on with their lives have difficult days: when they remembered something, had a flashback, or were simply “inspired by music.” It’s okay to cry, be sad, and remember - if this is not what your whole life consists of.

In difficult situations, ask a friend for support or lock yourself in a room with a photo album and handkerchiefs, go to the cemetery, wrap yourself in your loved one’s favorite T-shirt, go through his gifts, take a walk where you loved to walk with him. Choose those ways to cope with it that make you feel better.

4. Limit unpleasant contacts

In an already difficult time, you will most likely have to communicate with different people: distant relatives, family friends and so on. And not all of them will be pleasant.

Limit unwanted contacts so as not to add to your negative emotions. Sometimes it’s better to communicate with a stranger on the Internet than with your second cousin, simply because he understands you and she doesn’t.

But, according to Adriana Imzh, it is still worth accepting condolences, since in our culture it is simply a way to give you space to grieve.

Yes, perhaps these people do not experience loss the same way as you. But they understand that you are sad. They recognize that the person has died, and that is important. This is better than when no one cares and you are not allowed to experience your emotions.

Adriana Imzh, consulting psychologist

5. Don’t be surprised by your fears and worries

We know that we are mortal. But the loss of a loved one usually sharpens the understanding that this can happen to anyone. Sometimes this leads to numbness, increases the fear of death, an understanding of the meaninglessness of life, or, conversely, causes a painful thirst for life, sex, food or adventure. There may be a feeling that you are living incorrectly, and the desire is everything.

Give yourself time before you do anything. In therapy, this is called the 48-hour rule, but in the case of a severe loss, the wait can last longer.

Adriana Imzh, consulting psychologist

Most likely, the idea of ​​shaving your head, leaving your family and going as a freelancer to the Seychelles is not the only one. Let it settle, and then act if the desire is still there. Perhaps in a couple of days it will change somewhat.

6. Drink less alcohol

Sometimes alcohol seems like the answer to all problems. But getting drunk and forgetting is a short-term way to deal with them. - a powerful depressant that negatively affects the central nervous system.

People who drink alcohol cope worse with stress and make more destructive decisions. It is also important to remember that sugar (it is found in both sweets and alcohol) increases the experience of stress, so it is better to refrain from consuming it.

Adriana Imzh, consulting psychologist

7. Take care of your health

Grief is already exhausting, don’t make it worse. Eat regularly and walk, try to sleep about eight hours a day, drink water, breathe - very often in grief a person forgets to exhale. Don't add stress to your body by giving up on your health.

8. See a psychologist

If you can’t cope with the situation on your own and it doesn’t feel better for a long time, find a specialist. will help you find out what exactly is stopping you from getting out of a depressed state, expressing your feelings, saying goodbye to your loved one, and will simply be with you in this difficult situation.

9. Don't be ashamed to continue living.

Someone close to you died, but you continue to live, and this is normal. Quite often we have a false sense of injustice: he died too young, he died before me, he died because of nonsense.

But the truth is that death is a part of life. We all come to die, and no one knows how long or how he will live. Someone left, someone remained to keep the memory of those who left.

Adriana Imzh, consulting psychologist

It can be difficult to lead a normal lifestyle and learn to smile and be happy again. Don't rush yourself if it doesn't work out yet. But this is precisely the direction we need to move, says Adriana Imzh.

Not just because the one you lost would probably want it. But also because this is what makes any life, including the life of a deceased person, important: we honor his memory, respect his path, and do not make his death a weapon of self-destruction.